Today, it's a weight loss blog.

I’m gonna write about weight loss for a little bit. If you want to read my regular blog go to www.jenc.tumblr.com. (Link on the right.)

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post of this nature. In fact, I don’t think I”ve ever done this on this blog at all. When I first became a blogger, it was for the sole purpose of blogging about my weight loss experience. I lost 113.8 pounds and I started the blog well into that journey, after I discovered many other weight loss blogs that I read during that time were key parts of my system of support and ultimate success. I wanted to give back to people in that same way and create an interesting way for myself to be accountable.

I’m telling you right now that if you don’t already know me as a girl who attended weight watchers and wrote in detail about her food intake on the internet, you might want to quit reading right now. It can get very very tedious to read about other peoples food and exercise neuroses and really only those of us who are also going through or have gone through the same neurotic weight loss experience can relate. So if you don’t want to read details about how much I weigh, what I did for exercise yesterday, and how fat or thin I feel, leave now. I mean, I’m really begging you, leave now. Because it’s embarrassing enough for me to write this stuff as it is. But I want to become more accountable for my actions in this department and this is how I did it the last time, so this is an approach I’m going to take again.. Okay, enough disclaiming. I’m not sure how long this will be a weight loss blog, but today it is. Eff you if you don’t like it.

So the lowest weight I ever got to was 150.6, I think. And that was pretty good. I could have stood to lose 5 or 10 more pounds, but doesn’t every one feel that way?

I think I’m hovering around 168 right now. Which is NOT a weight I want to be. Granted, the 150 is a number I only hovered around for a few days, maybe a week, and my body rested more comfortably around 155 during that time (which was October 2005, btw – yikes!). So in the last two years (yikes!!!), I’ve put on about 15 pounds, give or take. That’s not awful, but it’s not great, and it’s not a trend that can continue. Oh HELL no.

What I want to do now is get back down to 150. Where I go from there will be up to God, frankly, because 150 was HARD work. But I know I can get back down there at least. I felt a lot better at that weight. And I will relish it even more the second time around.

I only exercised ONCE this past week. Despite this, I’ve been pretty good and pretty consistent in the last few months with my exercise. It certainly hasn’t been the caliber of exercise I was used to back in the day, but it’s been pretty good. Several days of cardio, two to three of lifting, each week. Not bad. Can always be better, though.

The problem has been the food. Interestingly, I still track points! I’ve done it pretty much every day since I started weight watchers over 5 years ago. That’s just how I stay SOMEWHAT within the realm of reason, even if I’m not actively trying to lose weight. And the trend that I’ve noticed in the last few months is that I eat about 70-75 flex points each week, consistently. So I eat my 23 points a day, and then I eat my 35 extra flex points each week, plus and additional 35 – 40 MORE points! Holy cow. No, that’s not a TON of extra food in the and yes it’s amazing that I still write it all down, but it’s still easily 2000 extra calories a week. Holy shit that’s a lot. That’s like almost two days worth of extra food So there’s some perspective I just achieved.

I’m not sure how best to go about changing this, except to just get down and dirty with it. Make changes, cut corners, eat less, change what sorts of things I eat, go back to basics: look up nutrition info, don’t guess all the time, make healthy choices in terms of what food groups I’m choosing, avoid alcohol, avoid over-snacking. It’s easy stuff, but stuff that I’ve slowly strayed away from here and there. Those calories add up. I’ve enjoyed the last two years of relatively free eating. The best part is that no matter what kind of damage I might want to do, foodwise, in any given night, I’m literally incapable of eating the way I used to. My habits, my normal way of living, has fundamentally changed, which is very cool to learn and relearn all the time. I am constantly making great choices based on the calories or the health benefits, it’s completely kneejerk. There are some things I won’t even eat because I just don’t think it’s worth it, healthwise. So that’s very cool.

I guess the stuff I need to add back in are weighing myself more often (I try to do so once a week, but it’s not consistent) and writing on here to be accountable. Also, setting a goal for myself, and setting smaller exercise and food goals.

Mondays will be my “weigh-in” day, though I don’t think I’m going to be going to meetings anytime soon. We’ll see. Right now, my scale goal is 150. My smaller goals for this week are going to be manageable. 4 times exercise, and no more than 35 flex points. I think that sounds pretty reasonable. Okay, can’t believe I’m posting this on the internet. Oh god. Gotta start somewhere, right?