Lalalalala.

I lost a sweet sweet 2.2 this past week! I have no idea how it happened. Well that's not entirely true...I made some small changes this week that seem to have made a big difference, but overall I would not have imagined that they would add up for an unexpected drop the likes of which I haven't seen in a while.

When I used to attend weight watchers meetings, my leader would always get upset with us if we'd report a loss for the week to the group but then start to back peddle and say stuff like "It was probably just water weight, though," or "It's probably because I quit lifting weights," or "I wore a different outfit at weigh-in last week." She'd get so upset and tell us not to downplay our victories. And I always loved that because you know what? She was right. We work SO hard to lose fucking two-tenths of a pound and then we say "But it's probably just water weight." Shut up. Who cares. Take the damn loss.

I'm trying to convince myself of that too, can you tell? ;)

I actually haven't been lifting quite as much as I was a couple weeks ago, but I actually don't think that's it. Lifting never caused much of a fluctuation in my weight and I've still been doing pilates and some light lifting occassionally which is not terribly different from before. I have been running more and I think that that might have just caught up with me after a few weeks of putting in the time and not necessarily seeing the results I'd expected to see right away. I also had a couple good gym workouts this past week which I think are a bit more productive than running outside for me right now. The heat slows me down, I think.

I ate relatively the same amount of calories this week - maybe. It's very possible that I was more accurate this week in terms of counting exactly what I ate and adding an extra point for butter or milk on a sandwich or in a coffee when necessary. I really wanted to be exact this week, so perhaps that helped. I did feel like I was more restrained with food this week and was surprised when I discovered I'd eaten the same amount of points as last week. I did eat more fruits and vegs than I've been. So who knows. Who really knows. But I'll fucking take that loss as my very own. I'm very proud of it. I was shocked when I saw it coming earlier in the week (scale-hopped) and it's made me work that much harder for the last few days.

This is certainly not about a number on the scale; I've said that 100 times and I'll say it 100 more. I'm not at a place right now where getting on the scale and seeing a high number makes me want to eat a pint of ice cream - or where seeing a low number makes think I can eat a pint of ice cream. (I never really was a pint-of-ice-cream girl anyway; it would be more like Wendy's extra value meal. Mmmmmmmmmmm.) I only want to look and feel good in my clothes and not have to worry about eating some pizza with friends or going out for mexican or enjoying myself at a summer barbeque because I put in the effort day to day so that I can afford to enjoy that stuff when it crops up. So even though I don't intend to measure my success only with what the scale says, the number on the scale is a nice indicator, for me, of whether or not that progress is being made overtime. And I really don'd mind the wait.

I will be very glad when I get back down to the lowest I ever was, which is about 10 pounds from now. And then, if I'm being honest, I'd like to lose 10 more. Just for the fun of it. See how it feels, etc. We'll see if it happens. It might take another 2 years - holy christ - but what the hell else am I doing with my time.

And we've all thought/said it before, but honestly, nothing is going to change when I finally get to a certain weight. I will still eat like this and workout like this always. Because it's what I do. It's what I've done for the last 6 years. After I lost that 113 pounds in those first two years, I kept doing it. I gained about 20 of those pounds back, still doing the same stuff, although a bit half-assedly. So can't do it half-assedly anymo'. Cuz you gain that shit back.

I don't really mind continuing to do it though. It's a fun game most of the time.

Being on e-tools on WW online for these 7 months has made all the difference in the world. Something about spending the money - might as well use the damn thing.

This week's goals: eat less, workout 4-5 times, only have egg sandwiches on 2 days*.

*Egg sandwiches are my all-time favorite breakfast food. And if I'm not careful...you get the idea.