Cranberry Sauce

So. :) I've had an eventful day. But I'm ending it contently, blogging while Kevin watches TV. I have a full tummy (more on that in a moment), and I think when I'm done with this I'll crawl into bed and get some much needed rest. I've had sleep issues the last two nights.

Kevin is watching tivo'd American Music Awards. Beyonce is performing. I love this performance.

It smells like cranberry sauce in our house. I just made my first-ever batch. Sort of just to test it out. Then I let it cool down just a little bit and had a spoonful of it over all natural vanilla ice cream. With pecans. It was basically heaven in a small dish. I told Kevin, "I could eat a vat of that." And I could.

I also had a couple cookies, a TINY sliver of pie, really tiny, and some nuts and crackers. I suppose that was my dinner. My eating schedule was all screwed up today. I ate breakfast around 11, "lunch" at 7pm, and "dinner" at 10:30.

Here's what happened: I've been sick for the last 10 days. It's been unpleasant. Nothing terrible, but I've definitely had a bug or bugs and I haven't felt good. Then I got the aforementioned toothache. So I went to the doctor on Monday for the sickness (and I mentioned the toothache to her, yes). She said: sinus infection and stomach flu. I am just now this evening feeling better from all that in a noticeable way. I think the sinus infection is dying down. And my stomach, which felt sour today, feels better tonight.

This tooth thing, I knew, was not entirely related to this sickness though. Sure, being sick probably exacerbated it, but I have had problems with this area of my mouth since at least April, if not well before that.

So I went into the dentist today and got some answers. Problem 1: My gum was receding in a certain spot near my back tooth. And Problem 2: the tooth itself isn't properly aligned with the one next to it. So it exposed up the receding gum AND the gum under the tooth to bacteria. And Problem 3: the area is infected. Which means it's been infected for quite some time. Months. And I think getting sick with two different bugs caused a weakened immune system which caused an inflamed tooth infection. It was just killing me.

The dentist did some shit to my mouth today, unexpectedly, when I went to see him on my lunch break. I HATE the dentist. And this shit was not pleasant. An upside is that had I known this had to happen and had I a week to plan for it mentally, I would have been even more of a wreck today. I was still a wreck. Just like when I got a couple cavities filled in April, I sweat through my jeans. I hate the dentist.

He did some drilling, some shoving of teeth, some rebuilding of a tooth and then he applied some penicillin, and sent me on my way. As the numbing agent started to wear off, though, when I was back at my office 20 minutes later, I ended up in incredible agony. We're talking a 9 on a 10 scale of pain. I was basically in high panic mode on the inside. I couldn't see, think, talk, do anything but fixate on the pain and how badly I needed to get it to stop. I called back the dentist and told them. They told me to try advil and call back in 30 minutes. I'd already taken 2 advil. I took 2 more. I was in excruciating pain. I couldn't wait 30 minutes. I called back in 22. It was the longest 22 minutes of my life.

I was really worried because I came in late to work yesterday because I was sick and had to go to the doctor. I am out of sick days, though. So leaving 2.5 hours early today after coming in 4 hours late yesterday seemed like a stretch to me. But I was in dire straits. I basically shut the door to my boss's office and welled up with tears as I tried to explain to her what was happening. While I was in with her the dentist's receptionist called me back and said to come back into see him immediately. My boss was empathetic and didn't care at all, of course, that I had to go back to the dentist.

I pretty much flew to the dentist's office. It was everything I could do to tell my other bosses I was leaving and to organize my desk and finish up some last tasks. I was in a pain-panic. Nothing else mattered.

By the time I'd gotten to him, the double advil dose had kicked in and I was at a 7 on a 10 scale. I spoke to him and he looked at it and basically said, either we can take out the whole thing we put in your mouth and scrape out the infected tissue. Or you can wait until the antibiotic starts working, which is when the pain will hopefully subside. He said the antibiotic is a huge dose. And with the tissue so infected, it made sense that the tissue would react angrily to the antibiotic and that it would be trying to fight back. It was definitely fighting back. Of course, the antibiotic will prevail. I know this. So I agreed to wait. I didn't want him digging around in there anymore. I said, "But what am I supposed to do until then. Because I'm in agony here." He gave me a shot of another numbing agent in my mouth, which also makes your face feel weird and sore, but it was better than the pain of the infection.

I was on cloud 9 when I walked out of there ten minutes later. Not because it felt good by any means, but because the relief of the excruciating pain was a joyful feeling. Feeling only kinda sore was a god send.

The numbing agent has worn off by now. And yup, the antibiotic seems to have started working. I feel sore but I feel okay. I can stand the pain at this level. And I can already tell that this is gonna make a huge difference in my mouth. This infection has been bothering me for a lot longer than I realized. Now that I associate the soreness to the fact that it's healing, not to the fact that I have an undiagnosed mouth issue, I realize how long I've been living with it as an everyday part of my life. I had stopped noticing that I was noticing it all the time. Isn't that weird?

So that's the saga. Of course it wasn't the end of the world. But there were some moments there where I was in a panic.

WHEW.

It's on the mend. And I think! I might be GETTING BETTER! Overall! This is exciting to me. I've felt like crap for daaaays. I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow feeling good. I know I might not be 100% by any means, but I think I will certainly be on the up and up.

And just in time. We get out of work tomorrow at 3pm and I'm going to go spend a good hour and a half at the gym. I really look forward to it. I haven't worked out since my Saturday run, when I got sick 3/4 of the way through it and didn't recover for 36 hours. I feel like a sloth from the lack of exercise, which is ridiculous, I know. But an amazing workout tomorrow will take care of that, without a doubt. Then I'm going to come home and do some food prep. :) :) And then I have a show at 8pm. I am excited to do some improv tomorrow night and then hopefully - all things permitting - go have a beer with some friends. It's been quite some time since I've been able to do that. Since my birthday weekend to be exact. This has been a rough month.

To borrow a line from my friend Jess, Thursday is Thanksgiving, obviously. And I'm looking forward to it. Kevin, Daniel and I are cooking at my house. I've never made Thanksgiving dinner before and I'm totally stoked. I'm gonna take lots of pictures and really enjoy the day. I plan to go for a run in the morning that day, and a walk in the afternoon with Daniel and Kevin. And then we're gonna eat around 4 or 5. I'm excited to enjoy the day. There are lots of yummy things on the menu. We might meet up with some friends or go see a movie in the evening. And I will be consuming cocktails.

Then, during the weekend, I plan to workout each day. Friday we're getting and hopefully putting up our Christmas tree, Saturday I have a sketch show, and Sunday we're going to see Kevin's parents during the day and going to see a standup comedian (Jim Gaffigan! I love him!) at night. The tickets were a birthday present from Kevin. I'm looking forward to the down time, the time away from work, the time to exercise, and the festivity. I love this time of year.

Honestly, whatever happens now that I'm starting to feel better is fine with me. I'm excited to just be part of the human race again.