I just made a turkey sandwich from turkey I bought at the deli counter, laughing cow cheese, mayo, mustard, and a whole wheat english muffin. It tastes just as good if not better than anything I've had for lunch from take-out places in the area the last few days and it's so much healthier because I know what I put in it. (Plus, cheap!)It's 4 points and it's a whole delicious sandwich.
Why do I always forget that it's better all-around to grocery shop rather than eat out? Oh, NYC. You and your delicious take-out make it hard on a girl..
Friday, February 08, 2008
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Long Overdue
Here I am. I am here.
Sometimes taking a deep breath and sitting down to write out the minutia of all of this stuff takes it out of me before I've even typed one thing. Ultimately, it's all just unnecessary detail. I ate this much, I moved this much, I lost this much, I gained this much, I should do more of this, that, or that other thing. Blah blah, right? I think that's probably why I quit writing my weight loss blog to begin with several years back. I got tired of recounting it all.
That said, as useless as it sometimes feels to spend time recounting a lot of it to the internet, I still think it helps me to check in occasionally and be accountable to myself? my friends? I'm not sure...but it keeps me focused on my goals I suppose.
My goals. Ohhh my goals. My goal presently is to lose weight. I'm doing it, I'd say. My scale ran out of batteries this morning (I just bought it so I didn't know that could fucking happen, but alas) so I'm not sure exactly where we are on that progress, but I know we are SLOWLY (slowly, people) making headway.
I've probably lost a fair 5 pounds since I began this journey on January 1. I think I reported that loss earlier on this blog. And since then it's gone up and down and up and down. I'm eating too much and not exercising enough. But I'm not gaining weight. And I'm rebuilding good habits which will hopefully continue to serve me better and better as time goes on. 5 pounds total in a little over a month is not too shabby and I will take it. Another few months like this and I'll be done!
Last week was one of the better weeks I'd had in a while. I got in a few good workouts, nothing mind blogging, but I spent some time and energy on my body, which is better than nothin. I came into Superbowl Sunday with no flex points left to speak of - no problem there since I worked out and ate lightly during the day, and saved up 17 points to spend on our spread. (I made chili, Randy made dip, Daniel brought sweets, we had beer and veggie dip and chips and crap.) And I ate it. All 17 points of it - and then probably 25 more points of it. Yup. "Ruined" an entire week in about 4 hours.
I'm not sweating it. Had that food fest not occurred, I would have gotten through the week with flying colors - I was on track to have one of my best weeks since returning to the program. And Superbowl Sunday doesn't happen every week. So perhaps this week I will have that much more self control, without the eating holiday thrown in the mix, and come out on top.
Since I began WW in September of 2002, almost six years ago now, I have become so much more aware of what I'm eating, when, how much, and why. And as I lost that 100 pounds in the first couple years, a day of diet derailment was usually very hard to stomach. No pun intended. In those days, I would be very upset with myself the next day after a food fest - sad, worried, and disappointed. It's taken years to move past all that nonsense and just be and live and not get furious with myself over a chili-cheese dip snafu. It fucking happens. And I work my ass off the rest of the time, saying no thank you to something yummy I want, or exercising when I don't feel like it, so that I can have some chili-cheese dip from time to time. Because I LOVE DIPS.
The bottom line is that I, who used to walk around so uncomfortable because my hips hurt from carrying too much weight, I, who used to be humiliated to get dressed every morning, I, who had NOTHING to wear because none of it fit me, I, who ate fast food at every meal and consciously chose NOT to eat healthy things, I don't live like that anymore. I walk everywhere I go, I eat three squares a day and snack very little. I eat fruits when I remember to and veggies when they're there and I stop eating when I feel full (usually). I exercise, I fit into small clothes, I look great! I look great because I feel great. I'm not a size 2. I never will be. I'm lucky I'm okay with that, I'm lucky I'm in love with a man who's more than okay with that. Superbowl Sundays don't really matter in the grand scheme. I worked out before hand and planned my day around eating junk food. I never would have done that six years ago. I would have had a Wendy's cheeseburger on my way to the party.
So the scale can continue to go up 2 pounds, down 2 pounds, my motivation to exercise can be all over the place, but my ability to maintain a healthy weight is never going to change again. I know how to do it. And if I'm this weight for the rest of my life, I will be okay with that. I'm a differnet person now and it boggles my mind when I think about it. It wasn't THAT long ago on life's timeline that I was obese. And it's such a blessing to get to know both lives. And to have chosen this one.
My "new" week started yesterday. All the other weeks are behind me. I'm going to workout today at lunch. And tomorrow after work too. I'm going to try to get some more fruits and veggies in too. I'm doing well with food so far and I hope to see a loss this week. I think I shall. I think I shall.
(Some business: WW online changed my points-per-day from 23 down to 22. Probably because I gained last week and they wanted to offset it. Fine. Fair. But it also went back and rewrote all my previous weeks as though I were meant to be eating 22 per day points the whole time! So, on weeks where I'd gone over flex points by 15, I was suddenly over flex points by 7 more points, 22 total. That's one point for each day that used to be 23 points a day but was now retroactively lowered to 22! That seems unfair to me. If I'd been eating perfectly each one of those weeks and went back to look at my history now, it would say I'd gone over each week by 7 points. A little annoying. But I suppose the WW organization wants to have somethign to point to if I come to them and say I"M NOT LOSING WEIGHT! Right. Because you're eating too much retroactively. Fine, fuck you, WW. Whatever, it's fine. Sort of motivates me more, actually. Like a little challenge.)
Okay. That's the update. I'll write again after next weigh-in probably. Which will have to occur at the gym since the ol' home scale died.
Sometimes taking a deep breath and sitting down to write out the minutia of all of this stuff takes it out of me before I've even typed one thing. Ultimately, it's all just unnecessary detail. I ate this much, I moved this much, I lost this much, I gained this much, I should do more of this, that, or that other thing. Blah blah, right? I think that's probably why I quit writing my weight loss blog to begin with several years back. I got tired of recounting it all.
That said, as useless as it sometimes feels to spend time recounting a lot of it to the internet, I still think it helps me to check in occasionally and be accountable to myself? my friends? I'm not sure...but it keeps me focused on my goals I suppose.
My goals. Ohhh my goals. My goal presently is to lose weight. I'm doing it, I'd say. My scale ran out of batteries this morning (I just bought it so I didn't know that could fucking happen, but alas) so I'm not sure exactly where we are on that progress, but I know we are SLOWLY (slowly, people) making headway.
I've probably lost a fair 5 pounds since I began this journey on January 1. I think I reported that loss earlier on this blog. And since then it's gone up and down and up and down. I'm eating too much and not exercising enough. But I'm not gaining weight. And I'm rebuilding good habits which will hopefully continue to serve me better and better as time goes on. 5 pounds total in a little over a month is not too shabby and I will take it. Another few months like this and I'll be done!
Last week was one of the better weeks I'd had in a while. I got in a few good workouts, nothing mind blogging, but I spent some time and energy on my body, which is better than nothin. I came into Superbowl Sunday with no flex points left to speak of - no problem there since I worked out and ate lightly during the day, and saved up 17 points to spend on our spread. (I made chili, Randy made dip, Daniel brought sweets, we had beer and veggie dip and chips and crap.) And I ate it. All 17 points of it - and then probably 25 more points of it. Yup. "Ruined" an entire week in about 4 hours.
I'm not sweating it. Had that food fest not occurred, I would have gotten through the week with flying colors - I was on track to have one of my best weeks since returning to the program. And Superbowl Sunday doesn't happen every week. So perhaps this week I will have that much more self control, without the eating holiday thrown in the mix, and come out on top.
Since I began WW in September of 2002, almost six years ago now, I have become so much more aware of what I'm eating, when, how much, and why. And as I lost that 100 pounds in the first couple years, a day of diet derailment was usually very hard to stomach. No pun intended. In those days, I would be very upset with myself the next day after a food fest - sad, worried, and disappointed. It's taken years to move past all that nonsense and just be and live and not get furious with myself over a chili-cheese dip snafu. It fucking happens. And I work my ass off the rest of the time, saying no thank you to something yummy I want, or exercising when I don't feel like it, so that I can have some chili-cheese dip from time to time. Because I LOVE DIPS.
The bottom line is that I, who used to walk around so uncomfortable because my hips hurt from carrying too much weight, I, who used to be humiliated to get dressed every morning, I, who had NOTHING to wear because none of it fit me, I, who ate fast food at every meal and consciously chose NOT to eat healthy things, I don't live like that anymore. I walk everywhere I go, I eat three squares a day and snack very little. I eat fruits when I remember to and veggies when they're there and I stop eating when I feel full (usually). I exercise, I fit into small clothes, I look great! I look great because I feel great. I'm not a size 2. I never will be. I'm lucky I'm okay with that, I'm lucky I'm in love with a man who's more than okay with that. Superbowl Sundays don't really matter in the grand scheme. I worked out before hand and planned my day around eating junk food. I never would have done that six years ago. I would have had a Wendy's cheeseburger on my way to the party.
So the scale can continue to go up 2 pounds, down 2 pounds, my motivation to exercise can be all over the place, but my ability to maintain a healthy weight is never going to change again. I know how to do it. And if I'm this weight for the rest of my life, I will be okay with that. I'm a differnet person now and it boggles my mind when I think about it. It wasn't THAT long ago on life's timeline that I was obese. And it's such a blessing to get to know both lives. And to have chosen this one.
My "new" week started yesterday. All the other weeks are behind me. I'm going to workout today at lunch. And tomorrow after work too. I'm going to try to get some more fruits and veggies in too. I'm doing well with food so far and I hope to see a loss this week. I think I shall. I think I shall.
(Some business: WW online changed my points-per-day from 23 down to 22. Probably because I gained last week and they wanted to offset it. Fine. Fair. But it also went back and rewrote all my previous weeks as though I were meant to be eating 22 per day points the whole time! So, on weeks where I'd gone over flex points by 15, I was suddenly over flex points by 7 more points, 22 total. That's one point for each day that used to be 23 points a day but was now retroactively lowered to 22! That seems unfair to me. If I'd been eating perfectly each one of those weeks and went back to look at my history now, it would say I'd gone over each week by 7 points. A little annoying. But I suppose the WW organization wants to have somethign to point to if I come to them and say I"M NOT LOSING WEIGHT! Right. Because you're eating too much retroactively. Fine, fuck you, WW. Whatever, it's fine. Sort of motivates me more, actually. Like a little challenge.)
Okay. That's the update. I'll write again after next weigh-in probably. Which will have to occur at the gym since the ol' home scale died.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Neglect
Really wanted to update today and didn't get a chance. Maybe tonight? Hopefully soon. Plenty to share - things are going fine - could be better - life goes on. Update soon!
Monday, January 28, 2008
A challenge?
I've been eating relatively well. It can't go unnoticed that I've made some great choices lately and showed restraint in moments when I might not have in the recent past.
The scale is up. Weigh in is tomorrow. I worked out twice this week, not enough, but more than I've been doing. One was a nice long session too. And I did 250 situps another day. So not awful. Not great though. And late last night I had three chicken wings and some milkshake. :( Wasn't necessary. But I wanted it. So I had it.
I'm gonna keep on, of course. It's only minorly frustrating.
The scale is up. Weigh in is tomorrow. I worked out twice this week, not enough, but more than I've been doing. One was a nice long session too. And I did 250 situps another day. So not awful. Not great though. And late last night I had three chicken wings and some milkshake. :( Wasn't necessary. But I wanted it. So I had it.
I'm gonna keep on, of course. It's only minorly frustrating.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I worked out today for the first time in two weeks. That's an incredibly long stretch of time for me not to exercise, but due to illness and laziness, it wasn't happening. Today's workout was brief - 30 mins on the 'mill - but it felt good and it was all the time I had. I sincerely want to regain some footing in terms of regular exercise. It's so difficult with my very hectic schedule to find the time and the energy, but there was a time in my life where 5 days a week at the gym was the norm. I must have done nothing else but go to work and ride the subway to have had the time for that, but I know it used to happen one way or another. I'm not going to reach for that sort of improvement, not just yet, but I know I can get there 4 days a week. Maybe it could mean getting up early some days? Naaaah. Let's not jump to conclusions...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
this is good
Weigh-in day! So I lost 2.8 pounds this past week, for a total loss of 5 pounds since I started this true recommitment on January 1. I'm pretty pleased about this. Granted, I gained a bit last week, but who cares when it just comes right off the following week.
I ended the week eating 15 more flex points than we're allowed. This is progress. The first week back on this program (doing the online thang) I ate 23 more than we're allowed. The second week, 19 more. And this past week, 15 more. That means I've improved each and every week. I haven't improved by leaps and bounds, but considering that I've been relatively unable to eat less than 40 flex points MORE than we're supposed to (for a total of 75 flex each week!) for the last several months, this is huge. I knew I just needed the structure of the online thing to kick me into gear. If I had the time and logistical headspace to go back to meetings, I probably would, but it's just not something I can feasibly take on right now. There's not enough hours in the day. But I still feel like I'm part of a larger community when I'm using the WW online system and I think that's really helpful to me. Buying the scale to keep at home is helpful too. Funny how sometimes in life one thing works for you and sometimes the exact opposite works. (There was a time when having a home scale was NOT a good idea for me.) I also like having the stuff all written down on the computer rather than by hand. I don't cheat as often, weirdly. Maybe the honeymoon will end with this novelty soon, but who cares. It's working for now.
I'm finally feeling better, after almost two weeks of feeling under the weather. This is some welcome relief. When we got back from Charleston, I felt like a new person. I'd forgotten what it was like to live in this city as a healthy human being - I was sick for so long and then I was out of town for 5 days. When we got home, I realized that I hadn't actually felt like myself as a New Yorker in weeks. It was so nice to be out in the city, not feeling nauseous as hell, wanting to do stuff and see people instead of go straight home and loll around in misery. I really want to keep up my health now. I hated being sick. And I was a big baby about it. But I'm seriously never ever sick. I haven't had an illness like that since maybe the 8th grade? No kidding. My body did not appreciate it. I'm going to focus on eating fruits and veggies and taking vitamins to avoid it happening again.
Now that I'm well again, my appetite has returned. Naturally. Welcome back, appetite. I did not miss you. But also my desire to workout has returned. I'm sad to say that I haven't formally exercised in two weeks. I was coming down with a sickness, experiencing the sickness, or getting over a sickness for most of those two weeks so it's forgivable, but it doesn't feel good to ol' hips, ass, and thighs. I'm eager to get back to the gym. I hope I have the energy for a good workout tonight. I think my body is going to be shocked that it's moving at a speed above 1 mile an hour.
I'm pretty pleased that I've been able to lose these 5 pounds by just changing my food consumption. I have exercised very very little since January 1. Probably a total of 4 days. But I have eaten less food and made good choices and worked on portion control and quitting eating when I'm full. That's a biggie. So I'm excited to see what happens when I add exercise back into the mix.
Goals this week:
4 workouts
continue to lower flex points consumption
more fruits and veggies
Things are right on track. I'm thrilled to have lost 5 pounds in less than a month. Only 22 more to go!
I ended the week eating 15 more flex points than we're allowed. This is progress. The first week back on this program (doing the online thang) I ate 23 more than we're allowed. The second week, 19 more. And this past week, 15 more. That means I've improved each and every week. I haven't improved by leaps and bounds, but considering that I've been relatively unable to eat less than 40 flex points MORE than we're supposed to (for a total of 75 flex each week!) for the last several months, this is huge. I knew I just needed the structure of the online thing to kick me into gear. If I had the time and logistical headspace to go back to meetings, I probably would, but it's just not something I can feasibly take on right now. There's not enough hours in the day. But I still feel like I'm part of a larger community when I'm using the WW online system and I think that's really helpful to me. Buying the scale to keep at home is helpful too. Funny how sometimes in life one thing works for you and sometimes the exact opposite works. (There was a time when having a home scale was NOT a good idea for me.) I also like having the stuff all written down on the computer rather than by hand. I don't cheat as often, weirdly. Maybe the honeymoon will end with this novelty soon, but who cares. It's working for now.
I'm finally feeling better, after almost two weeks of feeling under the weather. This is some welcome relief. When we got back from Charleston, I felt like a new person. I'd forgotten what it was like to live in this city as a healthy human being - I was sick for so long and then I was out of town for 5 days. When we got home, I realized that I hadn't actually felt like myself as a New Yorker in weeks. It was so nice to be out in the city, not feeling nauseous as hell, wanting to do stuff and see people instead of go straight home and loll around in misery. I really want to keep up my health now. I hated being sick. And I was a big baby about it. But I'm seriously never ever sick. I haven't had an illness like that since maybe the 8th grade? No kidding. My body did not appreciate it. I'm going to focus on eating fruits and veggies and taking vitamins to avoid it happening again.
Now that I'm well again, my appetite has returned. Naturally. Welcome back, appetite. I did not miss you. But also my desire to workout has returned. I'm sad to say that I haven't formally exercised in two weeks. I was coming down with a sickness, experiencing the sickness, or getting over a sickness for most of those two weeks so it's forgivable, but it doesn't feel good to ol' hips, ass, and thighs. I'm eager to get back to the gym. I hope I have the energy for a good workout tonight. I think my body is going to be shocked that it's moving at a speed above 1 mile an hour.
I'm pretty pleased that I've been able to lose these 5 pounds by just changing my food consumption. I have exercised very very little since January 1. Probably a total of 4 days. But I have eaten less food and made good choices and worked on portion control and quitting eating when I'm full. That's a biggie. So I'm excited to see what happens when I add exercise back into the mix.
Goals this week:
4 workouts
continue to lower flex points consumption
more fruits and veggies
Things are right on track. I'm thrilled to have lost 5 pounds in less than a month. Only 22 more to go!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Naturally
...the scale was DOWN this morning two pounds from yesterday's number. Apparently the ol' bod just needed 24 more hours to let go of some of the water weight from being a lady. And had today been weigh in, I would have shown a loss, as opposed to a gain for the week. But today is not weigh in and the next weigh in isn't for another six days. Such is life. (But if today WERE weigh in, I would have lost a total of 5 pounds in two weeks! Wahoo! But it wasn't. So.) No big deal. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing (plus a little more exercise, minus a little more food) until next Tuesday and hope my efforts are reflected.
I have really had such a minimal appetite since this sickness hit. And I'm not complaining about that. Jen with a weak appetite is a RARE thing in this world and has probably only happened a combined 15 times in my whole life. So I'll take it. Yesterday I didn't want anything besides soup. And then when I got home and got some dinner, I suddenly couldn't taste anything (this flu seems to have morphed into a head/chest cold) which made eating that much less interesting. I'd also bought a some cookies at the deli so daniel and i could each have one and I didn't even have all mine because who wants calories they can't taste. So, yah.
Off to Charleston in a couple hours. Looking forward to the trip. I think that despite the fact that this is an HST trip, the likes of which usually includes drinking and staying up late, this will end up being a somewhat restful time for me. I'm going to opt to stay in on the nights everyone else goes out. I just can't risk getting sicker. I'm getting over this damn bug slowly but surely and I refuse to encounter setbacks. This illness has been the bane. So I got some magazines and a book to read and i'll bring my gym clothes so i can spend some time at the hotel gym if i'm feeling up to it and I think i'll generally lay low while every else gets their drink on. It's not ideal; of course i'd rather be well and be able to go out and have fun, but this will be just fine. We get back Saturday afternoon and I have Monday off work for MLK day, so I will have time to recoup once back in the city. It should be a nice long break from work, almost a week in fact, and I think the freetime will do me some good. Of course we'll be busy in Charleston. We have a tv interview and a radio interview and two shows to perform and other shows to see, but I plan to get some SLEEP also. :)
Feelin a little bit better today. It's nice.
I have really had such a minimal appetite since this sickness hit. And I'm not complaining about that. Jen with a weak appetite is a RARE thing in this world and has probably only happened a combined 15 times in my whole life. So I'll take it. Yesterday I didn't want anything besides soup. And then when I got home and got some dinner, I suddenly couldn't taste anything (this flu seems to have morphed into a head/chest cold) which made eating that much less interesting. I'd also bought a some cookies at the deli so daniel and i could each have one and I didn't even have all mine because who wants calories they can't taste. So, yah.
Off to Charleston in a couple hours. Looking forward to the trip. I think that despite the fact that this is an HST trip, the likes of which usually includes drinking and staying up late, this will end up being a somewhat restful time for me. I'm going to opt to stay in on the nights everyone else goes out. I just can't risk getting sicker. I'm getting over this damn bug slowly but surely and I refuse to encounter setbacks. This illness has been the bane. So I got some magazines and a book to read and i'll bring my gym clothes so i can spend some time at the hotel gym if i'm feeling up to it and I think i'll generally lay low while every else gets their drink on. It's not ideal; of course i'd rather be well and be able to go out and have fun, but this will be just fine. We get back Saturday afternoon and I have Monday off work for MLK day, so I will have time to recoup once back in the city. It should be a nice long break from work, almost a week in fact, and I think the freetime will do me some good. Of course we'll be busy in Charleston. We have a tv interview and a radio interview and two shows to perform and other shows to see, but I plan to get some SLEEP also. :)
Feelin a little bit better today. It's nice.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
one more thing...
Wanted to add, I'm going to Charleston tomorrow until Saturday with HST. So, the eating might be a challenge, as we'll be in the BBQ south and on "vacation" (sorta) and that always breeds eating-for-fun. But my appetite hasn't been stellar and I don't anticipate doing a lot of partying while we're away because I don't want to get sicker. So hopefully I'll be able to avoid any horrible dangerous food choices and I won't be drinking at all again because of sickness. I will keep my wits about me, regardless, and maybe get in some exercise at the hotel gym. :)
Minor Setback
So this morning was week 2, weigh in. I gained 1.2. This is okay with me. I lost 3.4 or whatever it was last week, so this is a minor setback and still gives me a total loss of 2.2 pounds in these two weeks and I'm okay with that.
First of all, I have been sick for the last week. As I mentioned in my last entry, the flu part of it didn't really come to fruition until Saturday, but I was feeling uneasy and not like myself starting on Monday of last week. So I only exercised Monday and Tuesday and then felt way too blech to do anything for the rest of the week. This is a shame, because the last two weeks have been pretty pathetic in terms of exercise - the first week was due to being busy and not interested in exercise, and the second week was due to sickness. So it's a wash. I hope to make up for it in the coming days, as I get better.
Also, I started my period yesterday morning. So I'm sure the weight gain has something to do with that as well. ALSO, because I was sick, not only was I not exercising, but I was literally not moving at all, practically, for about 72 hours straight. I walked to the deli once or twice to get some fresh air but that's about it. So I feel a little fatter than usual today. I mentioned that to Kevin, however, and he got very upset and told me not to say things like that about myself. Yikes. Sweet boyfriend.
Anyway, the point is, I could have done better this past week as well, but my heart was in it when the week began. Sickness and period derailed things a bit, but I'm not sweating it. As usual, I feel rejuved by the prospect of kicking off a fresh, new week, with 35 more flex points on the books and a whole 7 days in which to exercise and eat well.
I ate 19 points over flex this past week. Down from 23 the week before. It's not ideal, no, but the progress, although slight, cannot be overlooked. So that's 54 down from 58 (down from the 75 I was eating per week for a while). I feel good about that.
Practice makes fucking progress, right Weight Watchers?
Alright. Back to Tuesday.
First of all, I have been sick for the last week. As I mentioned in my last entry, the flu part of it didn't really come to fruition until Saturday, but I was feeling uneasy and not like myself starting on Monday of last week. So I only exercised Monday and Tuesday and then felt way too blech to do anything for the rest of the week. This is a shame, because the last two weeks have been pretty pathetic in terms of exercise - the first week was due to being busy and not interested in exercise, and the second week was due to sickness. So it's a wash. I hope to make up for it in the coming days, as I get better.
Also, I started my period yesterday morning. So I'm sure the weight gain has something to do with that as well. ALSO, because I was sick, not only was I not exercising, but I was literally not moving at all, practically, for about 72 hours straight. I walked to the deli once or twice to get some fresh air but that's about it. So I feel a little fatter than usual today. I mentioned that to Kevin, however, and he got very upset and told me not to say things like that about myself. Yikes. Sweet boyfriend.
Anyway, the point is, I could have done better this past week as well, but my heart was in it when the week began. Sickness and period derailed things a bit, but I'm not sweating it. As usual, I feel rejuved by the prospect of kicking off a fresh, new week, with 35 more flex points on the books and a whole 7 days in which to exercise and eat well.
I ate 19 points over flex this past week. Down from 23 the week before. It's not ideal, no, but the progress, although slight, cannot be overlooked. So that's 54 down from 58 (down from the 75 I was eating per week for a while). I feel good about that.
Practice makes fucking progress, right Weight Watchers?
Alright. Back to Tuesday.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
sick
I have the flu. Truth be told, I've been feeling under the weather and not like myself since MONDAY. And today is Sunday.
Monday night I started to feel oddly nauseous. It was only for about an hour and it was accompanied by some exhaustion but I thought nothing of it, even though I'm not the type to ever get nauseous.
The next night I also felt weird and tired. Achy, crampy, nauseous. I actually stayed home from something because of it. But still thought it was no big deal. Wednesday night I did a show and felt awful during most of it - tired, sore tummy, just worn out. I opted to go straight home that night even though I had planned on and wanted to hang with friends for a bit. But I felt too blech. I kept getting nauseous, but only at night, weirdly. I even tried to avoid eating cheese all day one day (I eat a lot of dairy, I've realized) to see if it was some kind of allergy or something. Nope. That next night, like clockwork, I got sick and tired around 8pm. Except when I woke up the next morning, Friday, I felt sick in the morning too, so it had become an all day thing. I felt sick that whole day, into the evening - just nauseous, headache, back ache, exhausted. Kevin insisted I go to the doctor the next day (I don't have insurance until it kicks in on Feb 15 so we went to the urgent care place by my house). $75 later the doc said "I think it's the flu." I was like hmmm...i don't know...wait a minute...of course it is. I feel like crap. It's a virus so no meds can help. Just tylenol, rest, and fluids. Sigh.
I had to do a show and a rehearsal that night though, Saturday, which just about took it out of me completely. I went home and slept for 12 hours and woke up feeling the worst I've felt yet. Whole body ache, exhausted, hurts to move, sore neck, coughing, sore lungs. Blech. No temperature or puking, just general malaise big time. I'm supposed to go out of town on Wednesday night to do some shows in Charleston. I'm going to rest hard until then. I might skip work tomorrow. We'll see.
I haven't gotten to exercise at all during the second half of this week. I got in two mediocre workouts early in the week when I was feeling okay but I just haven't felt up to it. And now I definitely don't. That sucks.
Food has been okay though. I don't have much of an appetite.
Back to bed...
Monday night I started to feel oddly nauseous. It was only for about an hour and it was accompanied by some exhaustion but I thought nothing of it, even though I'm not the type to ever get nauseous.
The next night I also felt weird and tired. Achy, crampy, nauseous. I actually stayed home from something because of it. But still thought it was no big deal. Wednesday night I did a show and felt awful during most of it - tired, sore tummy, just worn out. I opted to go straight home that night even though I had planned on and wanted to hang with friends for a bit. But I felt too blech. I kept getting nauseous, but only at night, weirdly. I even tried to avoid eating cheese all day one day (I eat a lot of dairy, I've realized) to see if it was some kind of allergy or something. Nope. That next night, like clockwork, I got sick and tired around 8pm. Except when I woke up the next morning, Friday, I felt sick in the morning too, so it had become an all day thing. I felt sick that whole day, into the evening - just nauseous, headache, back ache, exhausted. Kevin insisted I go to the doctor the next day (I don't have insurance until it kicks in on Feb 15 so we went to the urgent care place by my house). $75 later the doc said "I think it's the flu." I was like hmmm...i don't know...wait a minute...of course it is. I feel like crap. It's a virus so no meds can help. Just tylenol, rest, and fluids. Sigh.
I had to do a show and a rehearsal that night though, Saturday, which just about took it out of me completely. I went home and slept for 12 hours and woke up feeling the worst I've felt yet. Whole body ache, exhausted, hurts to move, sore neck, coughing, sore lungs. Blech. No temperature or puking, just general malaise big time. I'm supposed to go out of town on Wednesday night to do some shows in Charleston. I'm going to rest hard until then. I might skip work tomorrow. We'll see.
I haven't gotten to exercise at all during the second half of this week. I got in two mediocre workouts early in the week when I was feeling okay but I just haven't felt up to it. And now I definitely don't. That sucks.
Food has been okay though. I don't have much of an appetite.
Back to bed...
Friday, January 11, 2008
Chug chug
Chugging along. All's well. I'm doing my best to eat reasonably and I've had a couple workouts this week. Nothing stellar, but like I said before, I think slow and steady is the name of the game this time around. I'm going to go to the gym again at lunch today and do some much needed stretching and a little light lifting. My plan for the day is to eat lightly so that I can have dinner and a glass of wine with Daniel tonight. We're slotted to hang out, but I don't want to go over my points, so I'll do my best to avoid it.
I'm feeling sick today. I've been feeling sick the past few days. Somehow it's not impacting my desire to eat though. What could? Nothing.
I'm feeling sick today. I've been feeling sick the past few days. Somehow it's not impacting my desire to eat though. What could? Nothing.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Weigh in...
Well, lovely news. After a workout yesterday and relatively mindful eating in hopes of correcting some damage done over the weekend, I lost 3.4 pounds this week! This is good news.
Again, I didn't really have a stellar week, but it wasn't a terrible week either. I ended up eating 59 flex points...which is 24 more than they want me to have, but about 15 less than I've been eating lately, so it's progress. I didn't workout nearly as much as I like to either, but I got in two good cardio sessions (and I plan to improve that this week) so I feel like it's a start.
Like I've said a few times, it's really nice to be back within the WW system, tracking online and being immersed in the lingo and the rewards system. It's a community like any other so it's nice to feel like I've returned to my roots in terms of weight loss. And it works as well as it always has. I'm really pleased with this loss. I might even eventually return to meetings just to mix things up.
I am standing at the beginning of a whole new week...35 new flex points, 7 days in which to decide to exercise and make good food choices. Another thing I've always loved about WW is the renewal process that occurs at the beginning of each week. It really feels like you hit reset and have another shot. So I'm excited to do well this week.
As I said yesterday, my goals for this week are: exercise 4 times, stay within 35 flex. That seems pretty reasonable.
I had a sensible breakfast this morning...but I just now had a cookie...so I hope to get some fruits and vegs in at lunchtime. And hopefully a workout later this evening.
Again, I didn't really have a stellar week, but it wasn't a terrible week either. I ended up eating 59 flex points...which is 24 more than they want me to have, but about 15 less than I've been eating lately, so it's progress. I didn't workout nearly as much as I like to either, but I got in two good cardio sessions (and I plan to improve that this week) so I feel like it's a start.
Like I've said a few times, it's really nice to be back within the WW system, tracking online and being immersed in the lingo and the rewards system. It's a community like any other so it's nice to feel like I've returned to my roots in terms of weight loss. And it works as well as it always has. I'm really pleased with this loss. I might even eventually return to meetings just to mix things up.
I am standing at the beginning of a whole new week...35 new flex points, 7 days in which to decide to exercise and make good food choices. Another thing I've always loved about WW is the renewal process that occurs at the beginning of each week. It really feels like you hit reset and have another shot. So I'm excited to do well this week.
As I said yesterday, my goals for this week are: exercise 4 times, stay within 35 flex. That seems pretty reasonable.
I had a sensible breakfast this morning...but I just now had a cookie...so I hope to get some fruits and vegs in at lunchtime. And hopefully a workout later this evening.
Monday, January 07, 2008
It's a fucking processssssss.
I didn't do a great job, this weekend, foodwise. I didn't do a terrible job either. I made a couple poor choices and I'm 20 points over my flex. This is STILL an improvement. And seeing it written on the website tracker all in red like it is makes me want to work that much harder not to do it again.
I ate some pizza late Saturday night. I'm not sure why I did it other than everyone else wanted it and then there it was, after being delivered, sitting in my kitchen, and everyone else was eating it, and it looked soooo fuckingggg goooood. So i had a piece and a half. Yup. Whatever. My weaknesses, I've realized, with this food stuff involve when "everyone else is." How are you supposed to sit around a table of your dear friends, who're all eating fries and nachos, and not have some?! Like, that's fine when you're just starting out losing weight, but you can't do that for your whole lifetime! All you can do it curb how MUCH of it you eat and what you eat the rest of the day to counteract it. But it's just inhumane to avoid all bad foods. I suppose that's the beauty of WW. So I don't feel like I've failed, but I do feel like this is a process and I need to train myself with some better skills for avoiding unnecessary overeating.
As my weigh-in is tomorrow morning, I will have only worked out two days this past week when all is said and done. That's not ideal either. But it gives me a good jumping off point for next week.
I have both food and exercise demons to battle this next week. This past week hasn't been a defeat or a victory, it's been a good learning experience. I made some good choices, some good changes, and there's plenty more to do. My goals for next week are: exercise 4 times and stay within 35 flex points. I didn't pay money for this damn WW online membership for nothing!
I ate some pizza late Saturday night. I'm not sure why I did it other than everyone else wanted it and then there it was, after being delivered, sitting in my kitchen, and everyone else was eating it, and it looked soooo fuckingggg goooood. So i had a piece and a half. Yup. Whatever. My weaknesses, I've realized, with this food stuff involve when "everyone else is." How are you supposed to sit around a table of your dear friends, who're all eating fries and nachos, and not have some?! Like, that's fine when you're just starting out losing weight, but you can't do that for your whole lifetime! All you can do it curb how MUCH of it you eat and what you eat the rest of the day to counteract it. But it's just inhumane to avoid all bad foods. I suppose that's the beauty of WW. So I don't feel like I've failed, but I do feel like this is a process and I need to train myself with some better skills for avoiding unnecessary overeating.
As my weigh-in is tomorrow morning, I will have only worked out two days this past week when all is said and done. That's not ideal either. But it gives me a good jumping off point for next week.
I have both food and exercise demons to battle this next week. This past week hasn't been a defeat or a victory, it's been a good learning experience. I made some good choices, some good changes, and there's plenty more to do. My goals for next week are: exercise 4 times and stay within 35 flex points. I didn't pay money for this damn WW online membership for nothing!
Friday, January 04, 2008
breakin it down
REMINDER: I’m blogging about things not related to weight loss here: www.jenc.tumblr.com. Go there instead of here for normalcy.
Things are moving along quite nicely with my new approach to losing 27 pounds. Being back in the WW system, by joining the program online, was a good move for me at this particular point.
Hang with me while I break it down and perhaps risk repeating myself:
After losing almost all the weight I needed to lose by attending meetings pretty religiously for the first 3 or 4 years I was involved in WW, I haven’t attended meetings regularly in probably over two years. I have, for the last two years or so, been weighing myself pretty regularly, writing down what I eat every day, exercising as often as I am psychologically able without making myself hate exercise and resent my whole life, and doing my best to stay on track and eat within my points each week. It hasn’t been simple. And I’ve definitely eaten more than my allotted points each week. To my credit, I wasn’t terribly focused on losing more weight. And I also wasn’t doing a ton to combat weight gain if and when it would occasionally knock on my door. I got fired from my job and then I feel in love, both of which impacted my eating habits, I would venture to guess.
So despite my “best” (I put that in quotes because they haven’t been the best) efforts to the contrary, I’ve definitely gained some weight in the last two years as I’ve focused less on the number on the scale and practiced living my life as a thinner person who doesn’t attend a weekly meeting because she used to be fat. I needed to go there with it. To return to the land of those people who don’t go to weight loss meetings. And I’m glad I did it. It has given me invaluable perspective to learn to be a healthy eater without the scale as my compass. It has certainly been a balancing act. And frankly I’m sort of happy to have put back on a little bit of the weight over two years because it means a.) I didn’t put a lot of it back on, only a little tiny bit! Which is great! Because that means I wasn’t perfect in my habits, I experienced failure, but I’m still a normal weight. That’s a wonderful thing. I wasn’t normal for a long time. So to want to lose 20 pounds feels like nothing. And b.) I have been forced to become comfortable with this body, with being imperfect, which was a lesson I needed to learn the entire time I was fat and the entire time I was losing weight. I needed to learn that it’s okay to feel good about oneself if one’s body isn’t up to Hollywood standards. And I’ve learned that. Being imperfect has helped me to accept being imperfect.
Plus my boyfriend likes my big booty.
And now I’d like to swing the balance back in the other direction for a little while. I’m confident and content being me and now I’d love to exercise and healthy-eat my way back to a slightly more toned me that can fit into a lot of cute stuff! So that means giving those habits a bit more focus than I’ve been giving them in the last couple years.
Joining WW online and buying a new scale (I threw the old one out a long time ago) is the most formal effort I’ve made in recent memory to committing myself to getting back to my fighting weight, besides starting to blog again about the effort.
I’ve already seen nice results on the scale this week alone. (Granted, I documented my new “starting weight” when I was rocking some serious after-several-bad-eating-days bloat that was bound to disappear quickly, but hey, why not pad my success a little bit.) And it’s lovely to be accountable to the online system, which seems so much more “real” than just jotting stuff down in my own personal food journal. ADDITIONALLY, having all my tracking done online as opposed to on paper in my purse has been an unexpected stress reducer. I don’t need more charts and graphs and papers and numbers and lists and notations and slips of paper to worry about. I will make myself crazy with that shit. It’s nice that it’s all in one place now. I sound like an ad for WW. I’m not. I’m just rejoicing in my honeymoon period. We’ve all been there before upon a rejoining experience. I’m in the phase where I can do no wrong.
However, I haven’t been perfect this week. All my flex are gone. And I have through Monday to eat 23 points a day. It’s gonna be tough. I worked my ass a week or two ago and was only able to reign in the flex points per week to 55 (down from a habitual 75 that I’d gotten up to) so I anticipate some hunger in my future. Granted it’s been a tough few weeks of holiday and wedding eating (little cousin got married at Christmastime) so perhaps without all the temptation I’ll be able to come out on top. (I should add that losing the 27 pounds I want to lose will actually put me below my lowest ever recorded weight when I was losing the first time. I had about 7 pounds left to go when I quit losing, so my current goal includes losing those too.)
I also didn’t exercise until today. But I was very good while I was away in the midwest for a week. In the interest of counterbalancing the food intake, I worked out several times during the week. So my body hasn’t seemed to mind that I’ve taken it easy since I returned to New York. It was essential, mentally, that I not push things. I made my triumphant return to the gym today and got in some treadmill time. I’ll make a quick stop tomorrow for some light lifting. We’ll do this in small doses. There’s no reason to work my ass off like I used to when I was 15 pounds lighter. I’ll reserve that for the next time I’m 15 pounds lighter. In the meantime, I’m just going to do what it takes to have this week look good on the books. I think slow and steady might win this race. Excuse me, this journey. It’s not a race. ;)
Things are moving along quite nicely with my new approach to losing 27 pounds. Being back in the WW system, by joining the program online, was a good move for me at this particular point.
Hang with me while I break it down and perhaps risk repeating myself:
After losing almost all the weight I needed to lose by attending meetings pretty religiously for the first 3 or 4 years I was involved in WW, I haven’t attended meetings regularly in probably over two years. I have, for the last two years or so, been weighing myself pretty regularly, writing down what I eat every day, exercising as often as I am psychologically able without making myself hate exercise and resent my whole life, and doing my best to stay on track and eat within my points each week. It hasn’t been simple. And I’ve definitely eaten more than my allotted points each week. To my credit, I wasn’t terribly focused on losing more weight. And I also wasn’t doing a ton to combat weight gain if and when it would occasionally knock on my door. I got fired from my job and then I feel in love, both of which impacted my eating habits, I would venture to guess.
So despite my “best” (I put that in quotes because they haven’t been the best) efforts to the contrary, I’ve definitely gained some weight in the last two years as I’ve focused less on the number on the scale and practiced living my life as a thinner person who doesn’t attend a weekly meeting because she used to be fat. I needed to go there with it. To return to the land of those people who don’t go to weight loss meetings. And I’m glad I did it. It has given me invaluable perspective to learn to be a healthy eater without the scale as my compass. It has certainly been a balancing act. And frankly I’m sort of happy to have put back on a little bit of the weight over two years because it means a.) I didn’t put a lot of it back on, only a little tiny bit! Which is great! Because that means I wasn’t perfect in my habits, I experienced failure, but I’m still a normal weight. That’s a wonderful thing. I wasn’t normal for a long time. So to want to lose 20 pounds feels like nothing. And b.) I have been forced to become comfortable with this body, with being imperfect, which was a lesson I needed to learn the entire time I was fat and the entire time I was losing weight. I needed to learn that it’s okay to feel good about oneself if one’s body isn’t up to Hollywood standards. And I’ve learned that. Being imperfect has helped me to accept being imperfect.
Plus my boyfriend likes my big booty.
And now I’d like to swing the balance back in the other direction for a little while. I’m confident and content being me and now I’d love to exercise and healthy-eat my way back to a slightly more toned me that can fit into a lot of cute stuff! So that means giving those habits a bit more focus than I’ve been giving them in the last couple years.
Joining WW online and buying a new scale (I threw the old one out a long time ago) is the most formal effort I’ve made in recent memory to committing myself to getting back to my fighting weight, besides starting to blog again about the effort.
I’ve already seen nice results on the scale this week alone. (Granted, I documented my new “starting weight” when I was rocking some serious after-several-bad-eating-days bloat that was bound to disappear quickly, but hey, why not pad my success a little bit.) And it’s lovely to be accountable to the online system, which seems so much more “real” than just jotting stuff down in my own personal food journal. ADDITIONALLY, having all my tracking done online as opposed to on paper in my purse has been an unexpected stress reducer. I don’t need more charts and graphs and papers and numbers and lists and notations and slips of paper to worry about. I will make myself crazy with that shit. It’s nice that it’s all in one place now. I sound like an ad for WW. I’m not. I’m just rejoicing in my honeymoon period. We’ve all been there before upon a rejoining experience. I’m in the phase where I can do no wrong.
However, I haven’t been perfect this week. All my flex are gone. And I have through Monday to eat 23 points a day. It’s gonna be tough. I worked my ass a week or two ago and was only able to reign in the flex points per week to 55 (down from a habitual 75 that I’d gotten up to) so I anticipate some hunger in my future. Granted it’s been a tough few weeks of holiday and wedding eating (little cousin got married at Christmastime) so perhaps without all the temptation I’ll be able to come out on top. (I should add that losing the 27 pounds I want to lose will actually put me below my lowest ever recorded weight when I was losing the first time. I had about 7 pounds left to go when I quit losing, so my current goal includes losing those too.)
I also didn’t exercise until today. But I was very good while I was away in the midwest for a week. In the interest of counterbalancing the food intake, I worked out several times during the week. So my body hasn’t seemed to mind that I’ve taken it easy since I returned to New York. It was essential, mentally, that I not push things. I made my triumphant return to the gym today and got in some treadmill time. I’ll make a quick stop tomorrow for some light lifting. We’ll do this in small doses. There’s no reason to work my ass off like I used to when I was 15 pounds lighter. I’ll reserve that for the next time I’m 15 pounds lighter. In the meantime, I’m just going to do what it takes to have this week look good on the books. I think slow and steady might win this race. Excuse me, this journey. It’s not a race. ;)
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Here we go, 08.
So I'm back in the real world. Back from the land of engagement parties and weddings and food-as-gifts and christmas and new years and one year anniversary with boyfriend. And they ALL involved food.
There were some areas in which I did a tremendous job. I exercised preemptively and avoided certain foods and overeating at certain times. But there were certainly areas in which I strayed and I'mn up anywhere from 2-4 pounds to prove it.
I was seriously up against a lot of food obstacles.
So, it is with resolve that I've decided to begin 2008 with a little bit of structure. I spent the $65 and joined WW online for 3 months. I think it's a good investment. It's actually a huge relief not to be tracking my food intake by hand. I'm on a computer a bunch during a day, so I can certain keep track of things this way. Plus, there's something really agonizing about going over points when you have to enter it into the WW website, as opposed to writing it in your own personal food journal. I joined yesterday and I'm feeling good about it.
I still ate pretty freely yesterday. It was my and Kevin's one year anniversary. So I felt justified in enjoying myself.
I also bought a scale two days ago. I think it will be nice to have that accountability around the house too. I really would like to lose about 27 pounds, if I'm being honest. So I'm gonna reset my mind to the task.
Getting back on track these past two days, which is really how long I've been trying to set my mind to it since I returned from Foodland, has been relatively difficult. Today I returned to work, which usually brings some structure, but I went home for lunch where Kevin surprised me with a slice of pizza and some chicken. And I've been nibbling on nuts and chocolate at work! Gaaah.
I also won't have a chance to workout today.
I will reign in the eating for the rest of today, it will be a scratch and a claw to do it, but I will. And I'll workout tomorrow in hopes to counteracting some of this.
I feel good about my decisions to get some structure back in my life in terms of weight loss, if losing weight is what I want. Now I just have to abide by those structures, which is always a ramping-up process. Day 2. I think I'll be having sushi for dinner.
There were some areas in which I did a tremendous job. I exercised preemptively and avoided certain foods and overeating at certain times. But there were certainly areas in which I strayed and I'mn up anywhere from 2-4 pounds to prove it.
I was seriously up against a lot of food obstacles.
So, it is with resolve that I've decided to begin 2008 with a little bit of structure. I spent the $65 and joined WW online for 3 months. I think it's a good investment. It's actually a huge relief not to be tracking my food intake by hand. I'm on a computer a bunch during a day, so I can certain keep track of things this way. Plus, there's something really agonizing about going over points when you have to enter it into the WW website, as opposed to writing it in your own personal food journal. I joined yesterday and I'm feeling good about it.
I still ate pretty freely yesterday. It was my and Kevin's one year anniversary. So I felt justified in enjoying myself.
I also bought a scale two days ago. I think it will be nice to have that accountability around the house too. I really would like to lose about 27 pounds, if I'm being honest. So I'm gonna reset my mind to the task.
Getting back on track these past two days, which is really how long I've been trying to set my mind to it since I returned from Foodland, has been relatively difficult. Today I returned to work, which usually brings some structure, but I went home for lunch where Kevin surprised me with a slice of pizza and some chicken. And I've been nibbling on nuts and chocolate at work! Gaaah.
I also won't have a chance to workout today.
I will reign in the eating for the rest of today, it will be a scratch and a claw to do it, but I will. And I'll workout tomorrow in hopes to counteracting some of this.
I feel good about my decisions to get some structure back in my life in terms of weight loss, if losing weight is what I want. Now I just have to abide by those structures, which is always a ramping-up process. Day 2. I think I'll be having sushi for dinner.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
yessss
Feelin really great this morning about all this. Feeling slim and healthy and that's so nice.
I had another good workout yesterday, albeit short. I got in some intense cardio (walked, but on a 7.5 incline!) for 20 mins and then did some lifting. I also ate really well yesterday. I came in only 2 points over, which I had to spare from flex (I'm at 22 flex for the week consumed so far. This is good.)and despite being rather hungry as I was falling asleep, there was nothing whatsoever to eat in the house so I just let my tummy growl, had some water, and went to bed.
I'm going to workout again today. And hopefully Friday and Saturday as well. Those are my intentions. If they don't pan out, I won't sweat it, but it's nice to know that I've made the time and set the intention for each day. I'm leaving for the midwest on Sunday morning. I'll be home (well, not home in Chicago, but in Southern Illinois and in Kansas, for Christmas and my cousin's wedding, respectively) for a week. Then I come back next Sunday and will have Monday and Tuesday off before I have to return to work. It will be a nice break - might be busy and hectic at points, but I plan to take advantage of the several days of downtime that WILL be available to me here and there. And the festivities of the wedding will be awesome also. (Big family, big party. Can't wait.)
The way I see it, there are four days in the next couple weeks that will pose challenges. This Saturday night (which is an intimate little gathering just before we go away for the holiday), Christmas Day, my cousins wedding (and let's be honest, that could bleed into more than one day of challenge), and New Years. It's a lot. But I'm not going to stress about it now, I'll just take it one day at a time, deal with each event as it arises, and keep exercising to off set things. One day at a time.
Today, bagel for breakfast (work breakfast - but I'll scoop out the bagel and use lite cream cheese), apple slices for a snack, lean cuisine for lunch, nuts for a snack in the afternoon, and whatever dinner will bring.
I had another good workout yesterday, albeit short. I got in some intense cardio (walked, but on a 7.5 incline!) for 20 mins and then did some lifting. I also ate really well yesterday. I came in only 2 points over, which I had to spare from flex (I'm at 22 flex for the week consumed so far. This is good.)and despite being rather hungry as I was falling asleep, there was nothing whatsoever to eat in the house so I just let my tummy growl, had some water, and went to bed.
I'm going to workout again today. And hopefully Friday and Saturday as well. Those are my intentions. If they don't pan out, I won't sweat it, but it's nice to know that I've made the time and set the intention for each day. I'm leaving for the midwest on Sunday morning. I'll be home (well, not home in Chicago, but in Southern Illinois and in Kansas, for Christmas and my cousin's wedding, respectively) for a week. Then I come back next Sunday and will have Monday and Tuesday off before I have to return to work. It will be a nice break - might be busy and hectic at points, but I plan to take advantage of the several days of downtime that WILL be available to me here and there. And the festivities of the wedding will be awesome also. (Big family, big party. Can't wait.)
The way I see it, there are four days in the next couple weeks that will pose challenges. This Saturday night (which is an intimate little gathering just before we go away for the holiday), Christmas Day, my cousins wedding (and let's be honest, that could bleed into more than one day of challenge), and New Years. It's a lot. But I'm not going to stress about it now, I'll just take it one day at a time, deal with each event as it arises, and keep exercising to off set things. One day at a time.
Today, bagel for breakfast (work breakfast - but I'll scoop out the bagel and use lite cream cheese), apple slices for a snack, lean cuisine for lunch, nuts for a snack in the afternoon, and whatever dinner will bring.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
power hour
Well, I'm feeling much better about things today.
First of all, when I got to the gym last night, I peeked at the scale, despite my worry that it would be through the roof. But I'd rather know than not know, I guess. Luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
I had a pretty good day of eating by the time I got to the gym. I was pretty low on points though - cutting back on the amount of food I'm eating in a day has been harder than I thought. And since I'm used to eating 75 extra points in a week, instead of 35, I'm hungry a lot as I try to scale things back. But I arrived at the gym last night determined to have a good workout despite my hunger and exhaustion.
And I ended up doing 60 minutes of cardio! I haven't done 60 minutes of cardio in I-don't-know-how-long, and there was a time when i was doing it all the time. So it felt really good to remember those days and pay homage to them last night. The workout felt excellent and has inspired me to keep pushing myself. I remembered last night that it's better that I log the minutes than the intensity right now. Yes, the intensity counts, and I'm never slacking on that fuckin treadmill, but if I can take it down 2 speeds or lower the incline and stay on it for another 20 minutes, it's all for the better. So that's what I did and I'm glad I did. I did some light lifting at the end too, just because I had the time. I feel good today.
It's rare that I have almost two uninterrupted hours available to me in a day to spend at the gym. Last night was an anomaly. And I hope to find more days like it. I was reminiscing while I was plugging away on the 'mill last night about the days when I went to the gym after work, worked out until I felt like stopping, and went home. At the time it seemed boring, but I'd pay for just one of those nights each week now. Things have gotten very busy in the last year...Easy to gain ten pounds when you go from constant exercise to not-as-constant.
I ended the night with an egg salad sandwich that I grabbed at starbucks, which seemed to be the best choice out of what was available - I was SO hungry and rushing to get to a show - but it ended up being 11 disappointing points. Oh well, lesson learned. Then I saw Kevin's improv show and then I had two gin and sodas at the bar. I don't think I finished the second one either, so that was good. (I decided to order a higher quality gin than I usually get, which made for a much more enjoyable sipping experience. I think I might adopt that method from now on, when possible. I drink less that way and I enjoy the buzz more.)
When Kevin and I got home it was very late and I was very tired and hungry. I had a small glass of OJ, some nuts, and a piece of toast. Much better than going to the deli and getting something awful for me. I ended the day using about 10 FPs, but I'm okay with that. I feel really good about what I did yesterday.
Today, I had a healthy breakfast and a healthy snack. I will go to the gym on my lunch break. I don't really want to and I'm really super fucking awfully tired from being up so late, but I think I can manage to do 20 mins of cardio and some light lifting, just to keep the psychological momentum going.
I will eat in at lunch - something frozen for 6 or 7 points - and then I'll grab something healthy for dinner, perhaps sushi? perhaps a chipotle salad? in between rehearsal and the show tonight.
I'm excited for this to be another OP day.
First of all, when I got to the gym last night, I peeked at the scale, despite my worry that it would be through the roof. But I'd rather know than not know, I guess. Luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
I had a pretty good day of eating by the time I got to the gym. I was pretty low on points though - cutting back on the amount of food I'm eating in a day has been harder than I thought. And since I'm used to eating 75 extra points in a week, instead of 35, I'm hungry a lot as I try to scale things back. But I arrived at the gym last night determined to have a good workout despite my hunger and exhaustion.
And I ended up doing 60 minutes of cardio! I haven't done 60 minutes of cardio in I-don't-know-how-long, and there was a time when i was doing it all the time. So it felt really good to remember those days and pay homage to them last night. The workout felt excellent and has inspired me to keep pushing myself. I remembered last night that it's better that I log the minutes than the intensity right now. Yes, the intensity counts, and I'm never slacking on that fuckin treadmill, but if I can take it down 2 speeds or lower the incline and stay on it for another 20 minutes, it's all for the better. So that's what I did and I'm glad I did. I did some light lifting at the end too, just because I had the time. I feel good today.
It's rare that I have almost two uninterrupted hours available to me in a day to spend at the gym. Last night was an anomaly. And I hope to find more days like it. I was reminiscing while I was plugging away on the 'mill last night about the days when I went to the gym after work, worked out until I felt like stopping, and went home. At the time it seemed boring, but I'd pay for just one of those nights each week now. Things have gotten very busy in the last year...Easy to gain ten pounds when you go from constant exercise to not-as-constant.
I ended the night with an egg salad sandwich that I grabbed at starbucks, which seemed to be the best choice out of what was available - I was SO hungry and rushing to get to a show - but it ended up being 11 disappointing points. Oh well, lesson learned. Then I saw Kevin's improv show and then I had two gin and sodas at the bar. I don't think I finished the second one either, so that was good. (I decided to order a higher quality gin than I usually get, which made for a much more enjoyable sipping experience. I think I might adopt that method from now on, when possible. I drink less that way and I enjoy the buzz more.)
When Kevin and I got home it was very late and I was very tired and hungry. I had a small glass of OJ, some nuts, and a piece of toast. Much better than going to the deli and getting something awful for me. I ended the day using about 10 FPs, but I'm okay with that. I feel really good about what I did yesterday.
Today, I had a healthy breakfast and a healthy snack. I will go to the gym on my lunch break. I don't really want to and I'm really super fucking awfully tired from being up so late, but I think I can manage to do 20 mins of cardio and some light lifting, just to keep the psychological momentum going.
I will eat in at lunch - something frozen for 6 or 7 points - and then I'll grab something healthy for dinner, perhaps sushi? perhaps a chipotle salad? in between rehearsal and the show tonight.
I'm excited for this to be another OP day.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
SO.
Whew. I've been avoiding posting.
Because last week ended up ril ugly, y'all. Ril ugly. It's nice to be back in the blog-it-out community though because I feel a lot better about committing the sins I committed and much more capable of returning to a place of piety, knowing that I have the support of my gals.
Things were moving along reasonably when Friday rolled around. I was more than 35 flex in the hole for the week, but it wasn't close to the 70ish flex I'd been using in the past few weeks.
I went to the gym during my lunch break and prepared myself for a night out. I lifted at the gym and tried to make good food choices during the day. Then I met Dan and Kev for drinks. I was pretty hungry, but I had an apple before drinks to help tide me over. Then we had nuts with the drinks. Then Kev and I went to see a show and only had time to grab a slice before hand. Not ideal, but it was all that was available. Then I had some gelato later on for no good reason and spent the rest of the night resisting the urge to have a second dinner. No joke. I ended the day 11 points over, to make a grand total of 59 flex used for the week so far! And there were still two whole days left before weigh-in day! I was feeling pretty defeated about getting up close to 70 flex used again, but I was determined to make it through the week without getting to 70 flex points. Foolish.
Because then Saturday happened. Ugh. I started out with good intentions - had a relatively healthy breakfast with Kevin at a diner before we both had to go run around fulfilling committments all day long. After I left him and started my full day of activities, I got pretty peckish but decided to get a lower-cal spinach wrap at starbucks. It wasn't enough though. When I finished it, I just kept eating. There were candies where I was rehearsing and I had a handful of those, I finished Faryn's chinese food, only a few bites, but still. I also drank the latte I'd gotten at starbucks and had a small cookie (ugh) and I just started to feel like I was losing control. I didn't want to keep eating, so I vowed to make good choices for the rest of the night, even though I still had so much day ahead of me. (More rehearsal, a show to perform, and then a christmas party to attend.) I did pretty well until we ended up at this christmas party around 11pm - and then I just fucked around. I drank and smoked and ate and ate and ate. I was probably a lot less than I thought it was but it FELT like a lot. And it felt like I was just mindlessly, anxiously eating. I had bites of EVERYTHING. Many bites. Blech.
I have to walk into those events with SOME kind of plan or all hell breaks loose. It's really ugly.
I didn't even write down what I ate on Sunday. I was feeling so incredibly disappointed in myself for Saturday night. Sunday basically went to shit too. Normal breakfast, then some nachos for lunch (?!?!) which I shared and didn't eat too many of, but still. THat would have been fine if we hadn't gone to another gathering after that where I had a zillion cookies and a fuckin brownie. Then we had to go see a friend's stand-up act because he was auditioning for a tv show and needed a supportive crowd and Kevin ordered fries and I had some of those too.
All in all, when I write it all out, it seems a lot less horrific than I've been letting myself believe, but it was still very mindless, very anxious eating. And it was mostly bourne out of scenarios that I didn't plan ahead for or scenarios where I let a craving or a desire to munch get the very best of me and I just gave in and let go. And I didn't exercise to combat it either. Also, the two times I overate the most were at the two parties. Sometimes I get anxious about making small talk. And you can't small talk if your mouth is full, so I anxiously eat. Interesting to learn about oneself.
There were definitely some small victories in there somewhere, so I'll remind myself that it could have been a LOT worse. At no point did i just "give up." So there's that. (And there was a two-drink minimum at the stand-up club and I only had coffee and diet soda instead of alcohol.)
I got back to it yesterday, though, and put my nose to the grindstone. I decided I need to really work on avoiding a ton of sugar, especially early on in the day, because it just causes me to eat more and more sugar all day long. I did well yesterday for the most part. No exercise, but smart food choices. I also went to the grocery store so I can eat breakfast and lunch in again this week. Glad I did that. Feels much simpler to stay on track that way, plus cheaper which is important right now. I'll go to the gym tonight and hopefully be able to spend a good hour plus there.
I started my period this morning/late last night and I'm so glad I did. I was having the worst PMS yesterday - I was clumsy and moody and irritable and I felt like shit. I still feel pretty crappy and exhausted today, but now I know there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hoping things will only get better from here.
I definitely don't want to go to the gym tonight, I want to go home and sleep. But I'll go and it will feel good and that will be that.
It's the holidays. And I am going to promise myself that I will workout as often as I can, and eat as well as I can. But I can't promise miracles. I can't promise I will get to exercise every day or eat like a saint for the next week. It's just too difficult this time of year to do it all. I know, though, that being this mindful is really going to help me. It will be good to be home in the midwest because my family eats very mindfully and I always eat well when I'm there. Plus there's plenty of opportunity for exercise, since we're a family of health nuts and people will be going on jogs and getting to the gym, etc. Things will be a little crazy, though, too, because besides the actual holiday, my little cousin is getting married on December 29, then Kev and I have our one year anniversary on January 1, plus New Year's Eve. So there's plenty to challenge me. But my focus is to be MINDFUL. To exercise when I can and make really good choices when I can and be strong and remember that I will feel so much better if 2008 rolls around and I don't have to start all over.
I need a nap.
p.s. I have no idea what the scale says. I refused to step on it yesterday.
Because last week ended up ril ugly, y'all. Ril ugly. It's nice to be back in the blog-it-out community though because I feel a lot better about committing the sins I committed and much more capable of returning to a place of piety, knowing that I have the support of my gals.
Things were moving along reasonably when Friday rolled around. I was more than 35 flex in the hole for the week, but it wasn't close to the 70ish flex I'd been using in the past few weeks.
I went to the gym during my lunch break and prepared myself for a night out. I lifted at the gym and tried to make good food choices during the day. Then I met Dan and Kev for drinks. I was pretty hungry, but I had an apple before drinks to help tide me over. Then we had nuts with the drinks. Then Kev and I went to see a show and only had time to grab a slice before hand. Not ideal, but it was all that was available. Then I had some gelato later on for no good reason and spent the rest of the night resisting the urge to have a second dinner. No joke. I ended the day 11 points over, to make a grand total of 59 flex used for the week so far! And there were still two whole days left before weigh-in day! I was feeling pretty defeated about getting up close to 70 flex used again, but I was determined to make it through the week without getting to 70 flex points. Foolish.
Because then Saturday happened. Ugh. I started out with good intentions - had a relatively healthy breakfast with Kevin at a diner before we both had to go run around fulfilling committments all day long. After I left him and started my full day of activities, I got pretty peckish but decided to get a lower-cal spinach wrap at starbucks. It wasn't enough though. When I finished it, I just kept eating. There were candies where I was rehearsing and I had a handful of those, I finished Faryn's chinese food, only a few bites, but still. I also drank the latte I'd gotten at starbucks and had a small cookie (ugh) and I just started to feel like I was losing control. I didn't want to keep eating, so I vowed to make good choices for the rest of the night, even though I still had so much day ahead of me. (More rehearsal, a show to perform, and then a christmas party to attend.) I did pretty well until we ended up at this christmas party around 11pm - and then I just fucked around. I drank and smoked and ate and ate and ate. I was probably a lot less than I thought it was but it FELT like a lot. And it felt like I was just mindlessly, anxiously eating. I had bites of EVERYTHING. Many bites. Blech.
I have to walk into those events with SOME kind of plan or all hell breaks loose. It's really ugly.
I didn't even write down what I ate on Sunday. I was feeling so incredibly disappointed in myself for Saturday night. Sunday basically went to shit too. Normal breakfast, then some nachos for lunch (?!?!) which I shared and didn't eat too many of, but still. THat would have been fine if we hadn't gone to another gathering after that where I had a zillion cookies and a fuckin brownie. Then we had to go see a friend's stand-up act because he was auditioning for a tv show and needed a supportive crowd and Kevin ordered fries and I had some of those too.
All in all, when I write it all out, it seems a lot less horrific than I've been letting myself believe, but it was still very mindless, very anxious eating. And it was mostly bourne out of scenarios that I didn't plan ahead for or scenarios where I let a craving or a desire to munch get the very best of me and I just gave in and let go. And I didn't exercise to combat it either. Also, the two times I overate the most were at the two parties. Sometimes I get anxious about making small talk. And you can't small talk if your mouth is full, so I anxiously eat. Interesting to learn about oneself.
There were definitely some small victories in there somewhere, so I'll remind myself that it could have been a LOT worse. At no point did i just "give up." So there's that. (And there was a two-drink minimum at the stand-up club and I only had coffee and diet soda instead of alcohol.)
I got back to it yesterday, though, and put my nose to the grindstone. I decided I need to really work on avoiding a ton of sugar, especially early on in the day, because it just causes me to eat more and more sugar all day long. I did well yesterday for the most part. No exercise, but smart food choices. I also went to the grocery store so I can eat breakfast and lunch in again this week. Glad I did that. Feels much simpler to stay on track that way, plus cheaper which is important right now. I'll go to the gym tonight and hopefully be able to spend a good hour plus there.
I started my period this morning/late last night and I'm so glad I did. I was having the worst PMS yesterday - I was clumsy and moody and irritable and I felt like shit. I still feel pretty crappy and exhausted today, but now I know there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hoping things will only get better from here.
I definitely don't want to go to the gym tonight, I want to go home and sleep. But I'll go and it will feel good and that will be that.
It's the holidays. And I am going to promise myself that I will workout as often as I can, and eat as well as I can. But I can't promise miracles. I can't promise I will get to exercise every day or eat like a saint for the next week. It's just too difficult this time of year to do it all. I know, though, that being this mindful is really going to help me. It will be good to be home in the midwest because my family eats very mindfully and I always eat well when I'm there. Plus there's plenty of opportunity for exercise, since we're a family of health nuts and people will be going on jogs and getting to the gym, etc. Things will be a little crazy, though, too, because besides the actual holiday, my little cousin is getting married on December 29, then Kev and I have our one year anniversary on January 1, plus New Year's Eve. So there's plenty to challenge me. But my focus is to be MINDFUL. To exercise when I can and make really good choices when I can and be strong and remember that I will feel so much better if 2008 rolls around and I don't have to start all over.
I need a nap.
p.s. I have no idea what the scale says. I refused to step on it yesterday.
Friday, December 14, 2007
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhh
I'm having a hard time with shit today. I'm grumpy, I exercised and now I feel worse rather than better, I can't eat enough to feel satisfied and I'm having a very hard time staying within points each day. Grrrrr.
I guess this is just part of it. Sometimes you have to kick and scream.
I didn't workout last night. I didn't have it in me. I went at lunch today but only did a little bit of pilates and then I lifted. I didn't have time for the cardio. I will get some good cardio in this weekend, fo sho'. And hopefully one more light lifting session also.
For some reason, I jumped on the scale at the gym and it was bigtime up. But I think several things: 1.) who gives a fuck. fuck that noise. 2.) it was midday and i'd already eaten plus i had sushi last night 3.) i'm convinced that scale at that particular gym is always high. fuck that noise too. So perhaps that's contributing to my mood.
I will not come in at or under 35 flex this week. More like 50 flex. That's not awful. That's a far cry from the 70, 73, 78 (?!) I've done in the last few weeks. So I will take that as a good sign and keep plugging away. But I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to do it my first week back. I did have a holiday party, but it wasn't that gluttonous whatsoever. Perhaps this is weight gain from LAST week's holiday party (at the theater), where I did infact overeat to the hilt.
There's also been a ton of holiday sweet stuff floating around the office and the season itself makes it very tempting to cozy up with a glass or 4 of wine and eat crap with my honey. But I'm fighting it HARD. We went out last night but got sushi and only shared one bottle of saki (still went over points, but UGH I"M TRYING!). Yesterday and today have seen the likes of a large box of amazing, rich, huge cookies at work. I've had probably about 1.5 or 2 cookies in the last two days, which is showing incredible restraint. They sit right by my head all day long and I want many many of them. But I had half of one yesterday, saved the other half for today, and took another few break-off pieces at a couple other points. Not awful. Doing my best. Plus! Oh! Today I was going to order a big sloppy eggwhites sandwich on a bagel! with cheese! and then I just closed the website (online ordering available) and just didn't order it! I didn't want to spend the money or waste the calories, even though I'd already picked the whole thing out. I've been eating in this week for breakfast and lunch, which means I have to have made some progress in caloric control because I'm certain that my 5 point frozen burrito is better for me than whatever sandwich I order and call 8 points when it's probably really 16. I mean, having the real nutrition info is half the battle.
I guess I"m just frustrated that I haven't been able to navigate this perfectly. But that's silly. I'll get there. And I have to remind myself that it's really not about that stupid number. Fuck that gym scale. And I'm not even really in this for the number. I'm in it to get into smaller jeans!
I'm going to bump up my weight lifting next week and start doing some heavier weights. I'm pretty consistent with weight training, but what that means is that my body is very used to the routine I've been doing and the weights I've been using etc. Sometimes I try to make little changes here and there, but I don't think it's enough. I've lifted pretty consistently for several years now, but over the summer I was taking weeks and weeks off at a time, so when I started back up, I sort of went back to basics and did some simple routines. But I haven't really varied them up since then, even though I've been back lifting for about three months. So next week I'll change it up. I'll lift signficantly heavier weights than I'm using right now and do less reps. And the following week, I'll lift signifcantly lighter weights than I'm using right now and do many reps. Just to mix it up. I also want to explore some new exercises, new machines, etc, but I think I'll try this first idea first and see what happens.
And the last thing I've been thinking is that I can always eat more fruits and vegs, more lean protein and LESS SUGAR (most of all less sugar). Since Dr. Oz's You On A Diet info came out re: sugar, I've seriously cut back. I make choices based on sugar in take all the time and whenever I can avoid it, I refuse to have any sugar before the afternoon. I don't drink sugar in my coffee so that's not tough, but I won't do cereals with sugar (did you know that Kashi Go Lean Crunch has 14 grams of sugar per serving!??! - you're only supposed to have 3 or 4 grams for breakfast!), or anything else that I think is harboring hidden sugars. But I can always do more. i.e. Not eating the cookies and sweets that are hanging out around the office. Also, perhaps I can start drinking a protein drink (a low cal, low sugar one) on the days I lift. I think I could use it.
So I guess that's it. I still don't weigh-in until Monday, and I know there's no real reason to be a crab apple about shit. (Perhaps it's PMS related...) This post was sort all over the place, but it did help me remember that I've made some excellent progress this week. And that there's plenty I can do to feel like I'm making even more progress.
Blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaah grr.
Big weekend ahead, btw. A lot going on. I"m hoping it will make it easier to eat well than harder. I'll grab a drink tonight with Dan after work and a light din with Kevin before we go see a show. Tomorrow is super fuckin busy. And Sunday is busy too. I'll get in another workout and avoid the sugar!
I guess this is just part of it. Sometimes you have to kick and scream.
I didn't workout last night. I didn't have it in me. I went at lunch today but only did a little bit of pilates and then I lifted. I didn't have time for the cardio. I will get some good cardio in this weekend, fo sho'. And hopefully one more light lifting session also.
For some reason, I jumped on the scale at the gym and it was bigtime up. But I think several things: 1.) who gives a fuck. fuck that noise. 2.) it was midday and i'd already eaten plus i had sushi last night 3.) i'm convinced that scale at that particular gym is always high. fuck that noise too. So perhaps that's contributing to my mood.
I will not come in at or under 35 flex this week. More like 50 flex. That's not awful. That's a far cry from the 70, 73, 78 (?!) I've done in the last few weeks. So I will take that as a good sign and keep plugging away. But I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to do it my first week back. I did have a holiday party, but it wasn't that gluttonous whatsoever. Perhaps this is weight gain from LAST week's holiday party (at the theater), where I did infact overeat to the hilt.
There's also been a ton of holiday sweet stuff floating around the office and the season itself makes it very tempting to cozy up with a glass or 4 of wine and eat crap with my honey. But I'm fighting it HARD. We went out last night but got sushi and only shared one bottle of saki (still went over points, but UGH I"M TRYING!). Yesterday and today have seen the likes of a large box of amazing, rich, huge cookies at work. I've had probably about 1.5 or 2 cookies in the last two days, which is showing incredible restraint. They sit right by my head all day long and I want many many of them. But I had half of one yesterday, saved the other half for today, and took another few break-off pieces at a couple other points. Not awful. Doing my best. Plus! Oh! Today I was going to order a big sloppy eggwhites sandwich on a bagel! with cheese! and then I just closed the website (online ordering available) and just didn't order it! I didn't want to spend the money or waste the calories, even though I'd already picked the whole thing out. I've been eating in this week for breakfast and lunch, which means I have to have made some progress in caloric control because I'm certain that my 5 point frozen burrito is better for me than whatever sandwich I order and call 8 points when it's probably really 16. I mean, having the real nutrition info is half the battle.
I guess I"m just frustrated that I haven't been able to navigate this perfectly. But that's silly. I'll get there. And I have to remind myself that it's really not about that stupid number. Fuck that gym scale. And I'm not even really in this for the number. I'm in it to get into smaller jeans!
I'm going to bump up my weight lifting next week and start doing some heavier weights. I'm pretty consistent with weight training, but what that means is that my body is very used to the routine I've been doing and the weights I've been using etc. Sometimes I try to make little changes here and there, but I don't think it's enough. I've lifted pretty consistently for several years now, but over the summer I was taking weeks and weeks off at a time, so when I started back up, I sort of went back to basics and did some simple routines. But I haven't really varied them up since then, even though I've been back lifting for about three months. So next week I'll change it up. I'll lift signficantly heavier weights than I'm using right now and do less reps. And the following week, I'll lift signifcantly lighter weights than I'm using right now and do many reps. Just to mix it up. I also want to explore some new exercises, new machines, etc, but I think I'll try this first idea first and see what happens.
And the last thing I've been thinking is that I can always eat more fruits and vegs, more lean protein and LESS SUGAR (most of all less sugar). Since Dr. Oz's You On A Diet info came out re: sugar, I've seriously cut back. I make choices based on sugar in take all the time and whenever I can avoid it, I refuse to have any sugar before the afternoon. I don't drink sugar in my coffee so that's not tough, but I won't do cereals with sugar (did you know that Kashi Go Lean Crunch has 14 grams of sugar per serving!??! - you're only supposed to have 3 or 4 grams for breakfast!), or anything else that I think is harboring hidden sugars. But I can always do more. i.e. Not eating the cookies and sweets that are hanging out around the office. Also, perhaps I can start drinking a protein drink (a low cal, low sugar one) on the days I lift. I think I could use it.
So I guess that's it. I still don't weigh-in until Monday, and I know there's no real reason to be a crab apple about shit. (Perhaps it's PMS related...) This post was sort all over the place, but it did help me remember that I've made some excellent progress this week. And that there's plenty I can do to feel like I'm making even more progress.
Blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaah grr.
Big weekend ahead, btw. A lot going on. I"m hoping it will make it easier to eat well than harder. I'll grab a drink tonight with Dan after work and a light din with Kevin before we go see a show. Tomorrow is super fuckin busy. And Sunday is busy too. I'll get in another workout and avoid the sugar!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
blah blah
I could sleep for days. Quick posting - worked out again yesterday, did some cardio on my lunch break, felt good. Ate mostly well all day, but got SUPER hungry around midnight and ordered a salad. At least it was a salad. I had a few of Kevin's fries too, and saved the rest of the salad for lunch today, but it did put me over points. No big deal. Still making good progress this week as opposed to prior weeks. My flex points this week will not be anywhere near 70, so that's good to know.
I'm sleepy today. I would like to take a night off exercise, but I don't know if I'll get to go tomorrow or Saturday either, so I might just have to suck it up and go tonight. It depends on a series of factors. It's incredibly snowy here today, but sometimes I like being in the gym getting all sweaty and gross when it's yucky outside. Cuz all I'm gonna do is go home and veg out anyway.
I need to earn some points back too, so maybe that's another good reason to go workout. I was doing well today, but then a HUGE thing of cookies came out. I only had half of one, but I wanted more. And someone put some incredible onion rings in the kitchen and I had one of those as well. DELICIOUS OMG. I also might have had a bit too much feta cheese with that salad last night and today. But I'm still keeping things in check.
Kevin might take me out to dinner tonight, but I'll ask for Sushi, I think, and avoid the fried stuff.
The holidays at the work place really get me. It's tough to navigate an office full of incredible, expensive-and-therefore-amazing sweets.
I'm gonna get plenty of rest tonight, if it kills me. I need the sleep badly and I have a very busy weekend ahead, so it's important that I go into it well rested. Otherwise I will eat what I want and not exercise. And neither of those things are happening. Not this time.
I'm sleepy today. I would like to take a night off exercise, but I don't know if I'll get to go tomorrow or Saturday either, so I might just have to suck it up and go tonight. It depends on a series of factors. It's incredibly snowy here today, but sometimes I like being in the gym getting all sweaty and gross when it's yucky outside. Cuz all I'm gonna do is go home and veg out anyway.
I need to earn some points back too, so maybe that's another good reason to go workout. I was doing well today, but then a HUGE thing of cookies came out. I only had half of one, but I wanted more. And someone put some incredible onion rings in the kitchen and I had one of those as well. DELICIOUS OMG. I also might have had a bit too much feta cheese with that salad last night and today. But I'm still keeping things in check.
Kevin might take me out to dinner tonight, but I'll ask for Sushi, I think, and avoid the fried stuff.
The holidays at the work place really get me. It's tough to navigate an office full of incredible, expensive-and-therefore-amazing sweets.
I'm gonna get plenty of rest tonight, if it kills me. I need the sleep badly and I have a very busy weekend ahead, so it's important that I go into it well rested. Otherwise I will eat what I want and not exercise. And neither of those things are happening. Not this time.
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