Hang in there.

Okay. I'm gonna blog about dieting now. Leave the room before it gets ugly.

I used to write a diet blog - or - a weight loss blog. If you don't know, which you probably do, I lost 100 pounds. Great. Near the end of that process, I started writing about it, and that went on for about a year. I don't think I'm gonna link that sucker here - if you know it, you know it. If you don't, call me, I'll pay you $500 not to go read it.

I'm kidding, I'm not at all ashamed of it. But I don't write it anymore. I sort of grew away from it. It was a daily reguritation of a lot of the un-finer points of being a woman who was obsessively watching her weight. I'm not knockin' the diet blog. Many a diet blog got me through many a diet emergency. And there are many a diet blog that start out as a diet blog and morph into something much more meaningful and meaty. I needed to quit writing mine. And in general, I don't like to dissect my healthy living habits as much as I used to. I guess after four years of fairly shrude weight loss effort, I needed to pretend like I didn't even know the language for a little while. I wanted to feel 100% normal, not like a recovering fat-a-holic. So I relaxed my rules a bit, I guess, and did so for about a year.

And it was a great year.

Anyway, I was more relaxed about my habits than I had been since I began my weight loss journey and therefore, that year saw the return of about ten pounds. That'll happen. And I'm gonna get it back off. But that means that I have to return to a world of shruder dieting and attending meetings and counting and detailing and being a little more nuts than how I ultimately want to live my life. It works to get the weight off even if I don't want to be doing it forever.

So I've most recently been back on this bandwagon for three weeks now, full force, and it's moving along reasonably well. But I'm really having to hang in there sometimes. Sometimes it's TOUGH. Especially when the people closest to you love to eat. And yesterday was not a good food day. And tonight I'll spend my sorrow at the gym. And I won't eat the cookie in my drawer until later because I just finished lunch and I'm not hungry dammit.

Sometimes inforcing those kinds of rules and restrictions is the only way to achieve the goal.

Losing 100 pounds was the most transformative experience I've ever had. I'm sure that goes without saying. And I still work every day on retraining my brain to create a healthy body.

I'm gonna have some coffee.