I love you, Summer.

And here I am, back in my office on the damn internet, after a nice summer weekend where I wanted to be anywhere but here.

And the work emails are starting to trickle in. And I'm looking around my desk, noticing the things that, over the weekend, I'd forgotten even existed. I have either an uncanny or totally common ability to walk out of my office on Friday evenings and systematically un-remember every single detail associated with my day-job life.

I suppose I should feel blessed that my day-job is one that I am able to un-remember every 5 days. This job - you do what you do while you're here and when you're not here, there's no use thinking about the place. Not every paycheck job is like that. I suppose I should also feel blessed that my life on the weekends is so dramatically different and active and busy in vastly un-day-job like ways. And I do feel blessed about those things. I'm hungry for more things, other things. But I do feel blessed about those things.

My commute this morning was bittersweet. I could taste the Brooklyn summer weekend slipping away from me. I held on to it almost until I walked in the door to the office. How can I encapsulate summer in a jar and wear it around my neck forever? I adore this time of year with every part of me. Being in an air conditioned office for 9 hours of the 16 hours I'm awake each day seems like the dumbest possible way to spend one's time. But not everyone feels that way.

Kevin returned last night from a weekend trip to Providence for an improv festival. I missed him while he was away but it was very nice to have the place to myself. I'm moving in with him this weekend (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!!!) so the opportunity to take some ownership over the apartment for a few days, just me and Chawser the cat (Kevin's cat), was really lovely. I did domestic things like tidied up and cleaned the bathroom and prepared meals and took naps on the couch. And I just generally lived there. My stuff isn't there yet, but it still felt like home.

I went on long runs around Prospect Park four times this past week while at Kevin's. It has been blissful. And they have NOT been easy runs. Very difficult, in fact. The weather has been quite humid and my body is still adjusting to the hills at this park. But the entire activity itself - deciding on a whim that I think I'll exercise now, laying out the yoga mat in front of the tv, spending ten minutes stretching and lolling around on the floor, putting on my watch and my running shoes on and heading out the front door, just steps away from the beautiful park where the rest of our small corner of the world is also exercising and enjoying the weather, then running until I wanna die but not stopping because it feels secretly good, and returning home to stretch or do pilates, then hopping in the shower to wash it all away and make some lunch - has been perfect. It's like a dream come true.

I can't quite describe why being at Kevin's is so different from the life I've been living in Queens. I love Queens, don't get me wrong. Love it. Sad to leave it. And it's not that these things I'm excited about are impossible to have, no matter where you live. (You just need a mat and some running shoes!) But the apartment I'm moving out of, as I've mentioned a hundred times before, is just not conducive to this kind of active living. When you're in my current bedroom, you don't even know if it's day or night. And there's certainly no room to put out a yoga mat and stretch or do pilates. Plus, watching tv or just hanging out has to be done on the bed. Where I sleep. Mentally, that's a challenge. It doesn't mean you can't overcome the doldrums that tap on your shoulder when you're in this room. But I don't need to be spending my time fighting off unnecessary doldrums, you know? Who does?

So, I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again until you're beyond sick of hearing it, but the new living arrangement is working out very well so far. I told Kevin last night that I almost felt like I was spending the weekend in my mom's house in suburban Illinois because the apartment is just so spacious and comfy and just FEELS like a home. And there's nothing wrong with feeling like you're home. :)

I was very glad to see him when he came home last night. He was so wiped from the long, crazy weekend he had and it was so nice to reconnect a bit. I miss him this morning.

We've given ourselves the big task of enacting an apartment move this upcoming weekend. I have extra time off this weekend so it just seemed to make the most sense to do it now. So I'm anticipating, only slightly, the packing, the packing, the more packing, the boxes, the loading, the unloading - but it'll get done and we'll probably have fun doing it.

I think I'm desiring to savor every last bit of this time. It's huge for me, this change, and really positive for our relationship too, and I want to be really present for all the different feelings I'm gonna have. You know how you just KNOW when you're smack in the middle of one of "those" times in life. This is one of those.

Oh and my park-runs have left me ravenous. I'm insatiable this morning, even after an egg-sandwich!