I had about eight seconds to get from 14th Street to West 4th Street this morning, but the R/W train was nowhere to be seen. So I went upstairs and got a cab.

The cabbie had a giant Santa beard, he was wearing an army hat with pins and medals on it and some kind of army style jacket, he was wearing one glove on his left hand, the other hand was bare, and in his gloved left hand, while driving, he held a giant silver cross.....

"Where are you going?"
"Just West 4th Street and Broadway."
"HUH?"
"Just West 4th Street and Broadway."
"I had to ask you to repeat it cuz I'm deaf."
"Okay."
"You don't have to say 'just.' You can just tell me the address, you don't have to say 'just West 4th Street and Broadway.' You don't have to feel guilty about where you're going. I don't care where you're going."
"I'll remember that for next time."
(To someone invisible:) "She knows."