What if I blink?

This is the view from my window at work. I'm tucked away in a corner of the floor with my own little area next to the CEO's office. My computer faces me and a window and nobody else (oh you dirty girl, get off the bad part of the internet!) so I have a nice little nest back here that's mine all mine. Until April at least. Arguably, the view from my window leaves something to be desired, but I've actually become quite accustomed to it and sort of enjoy its ambiguity. Not to mention, if you stand on your toes and lean forward just so, you can see the upper half of the Hercules statue that sits atop Grand Central. There's steam constantly billowing from the top of all these immense buildings, who's roofs and top floors are all I can see, which makes me feel like I'm getting a secret glimpse of a massive urban factory, like I'm the only witness to a real life Behind the Music about Functional Midtown Architecture. There are many amazing things about living in New York, any New Yorker will tell you, but one really exceptionally amazing thing that you can't quite grasp until you experience first-hand is the fact that you, a human, end up developing intimate, personal, private relationships with stuff that's not human...like buildings or street corners or particular nooks and crannies of the city that hold meaning to you in some way...or that don't hold meaning to you in some way, but just strike you for some reason....or tables at restaurants or doorways where you always see that homeless guy or particular staircases in the subway. New York is the loneliest place on earth sometimes and it's these pieces of the city that you putter past, day in and day out, that keep you grounded and connected, even if you go an entire 24 hour period without speaking to another human soul.

I'm sure a time will come when I remember that I was happy during these few weeks and I'll wonder what it's gonna take to get that back. And I'll remember being happy and why I was happy and I'll miss these happy feelings. But for now, they ain' goin anywhere. Things are good lately. Really good. Scary good, like, is this my life? And why do I deserve this? And what quantity of canned goods should I set aside to be prepared for when it all comes to a crashing halt? But I do deserve it. And even if it all goes away tomorrow, I'll have had it for this long. Good things really do come all at once and I feel an abundance lately.

Now if I could just lose ten pounds. ;) *

*Sick how I had to ruin a perfectly good post with that, huh? Too bad. I'm a woman. And I can feel my thighs rubbing together right now.....