Alas. Alack. Life. I'm plugging through it. Thank god for the people I like.

So, in other news, I was up .2 yesterday for weigh-in (meaning a total of 2.2 gained in the last two weeks). And then, naturally, back down to my lowest in recent weeks this morning, like that 2.2 never happened, the day AFTER weigh-in. Of course. Whatever.

I am thrilled to report that I had a good day yesterday in terms of healthy living. It's always a great boost for me to have day one of my "new week" be a success. If I end up overeating on the first day of the new week I always feel like I'm coming from behind the whole rest of the week. It's all mental, baby. But after last week's pretty shiteous performance on the part of Food Consumer: Me, I worked hard to make my first day a good one.

I've been really interested, lately, in eating whole, organic foods. I've been shopping for all kinds of weird things that I've never eaten before, like almond butter and flax seed oil. It's certainly out of a desire to fill my body with whole non-toxic foods, but it's also out of a desire to find ways to satisfy my hunger without overeating. And the best way I can think to do that is to eat whole foods. I've been eating a lot of organic crunchy peanut butter. A lot of avocados and apples and cherries. I found these really delicious organic bar-type-things that are ridiculously high in fiber and pretty tasty too - I believe they're called Gnu Bars. They're expensive as fuck, of course. But the chocolate brownie one does it for me for the chocolate fix. And for 12 grams of fiber, my digestive system is thrilled.

I hope to continue along this trend as time and grocery store trips allow. It's not always easy to make the better choice or the more expensive, organic choice, but I hope to teach my children to eat this way so what better time to start than now. And if some of it rubs off on Kevin, so be it. ;) (I have to slap myself regularly to keep myself from trying to control everything he puts in his mouth. Those are MY issues, not his, and goddammit, when I get on his case about food stuff I sound just like my mother! Aack! Dreadful. He's patient with me though. He knows it comes from a (dysfunctional) place of love. And just smiles and keeps eating his cheez-its.)

Anyway, I must head to the store soon to restock us. We made a vat of organic whole wheat penne last week for a meal and ended up with a lot of left over pasta. I reheated that stuff, adding a little salt and EVOO, at least 3 different times - after a run, as a snack before going to lift. And was so tasty and filling. Definitely have to get some more of that. It's fun to try to relearn nutrition in this way. I just can't with the super-chemical stuff anymore. It gives me headaches.

Yesterday was good because I ate good, whole foods, several servings of fruits and veggies, and didn't go overboard at all on the munching. (Except for some organic chocolate cookies a woman brought out at work. I had a hearty handful of those puppies. But at 120 calories for 10 of them, and organic, who cares.) I also got to the gym at lunch and blasted through a 30 minute run. It's not the hour long workout I dream of having each day, but it's something. And it's just all I have time for right now. Someday, things will be different.

I'm going to eat well again today. It remains to be seen whether or not I'll get a workout in. I might try to go lift and do some pilates at lunch. But I'm really craving a good long exercise session. These 20-30 mins stints on my lunch break just aren't enough. And getting out of work at 7pm, often having somewhere to be 30 mins later, isn't conducive to much in the long workout vein either. I get in my long stuff on the weekends, but I still crave more during the week. That might have to involve getting up early. HA. Puleeze.

It's a friends birthday tonight so I'm going to try to go see her show instead of working out, assuming I can get out of work in time. And tomorrow is another friend's birthday party. When is a girl supposed to exercise? This might be a light week for sweating.

I anticipate having a good week, food wise. My new goal is to eat 30 points a day. Letting flex and APs pick up my slack. I'm supposed to eat 22 points a day. But that hasn't happened in god knows how long. So rather than attempt to eat 22 points and a day, ending up eating 35, and being frustrated with myself, I'll aim for 30 and see if it doesn't change my mentality.

It's all mental, baby.