Zzzzzz...

Sigh. I'm feeling down today. I don't know why.

I got not-enough sleep last night. And that fact made me so pissy as I was finally getting into bed at 2am. Like, so pissy I wanted to scream and cry. "I HAVE AN EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL NEED TO FEEL AS THOUGH I'VE SLEPT ENOUGH, WORLD. LET ME OFF THE HOOK WITH YOUR GUILT TRIPS." Of course no one is guilt tripping me. It's my own damn creation.

Let's backtrack, shall we? Pilates class last night was okay. The woman ended class 20 minutes early because she wasn't feeling well. (I haven't had much luck with these classes lately.) But then she beelined out of there like she had somewhere to be. Maybe she was just hurrying because she was really sick. Anyway, it was mostly alright with me. Gave me some time to take a quick shower and more time to grab something to eat before my improv show. Plus I'd already worked out earlier in the day.

I made my way downtown, after eating a quick plum as a snack to tide me over. And then I grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza for dinner. Dinners on Wednesday nights have seemed to settle into a slice of pizza and a piece of fruit. It's always a hurried night because I get out of work at 7, almost always do something at the gym until 8:30, and have only about 35-40 minutes to travel to the theater and find some quick dinner on the way. I used to wait until after the show to eat dinner, but that has proven, time and again, to leave me pissy with a headache and a stomachache because I waited way too long to fuel myself. So pizza slice it is. It's okay. It's only about 7-8 points and is delicious and warm.

Our show was fun, Kev's group did really well also, and the other show I watched after ours was amazing and had me in stitches the whole time. It always feels good to laugh really hard after a long day. And I always do on Wednesday nights. Super fun.

Kevin's sister and her husband, L and E, were in town for the evening to see the show and get a drink with us afterwards. I made my way over to the bar after the show, though, and neither Kevin nor his sister were there yet. So I ordered a beer (haven't had a beer in AGES) and sat down with some friends for what ended up being an hysterical and enjoyable conversation about all kinds of fun stuff. Eventually I noticed that Kevin, L and E were sitting at the front of the place, and I made my way over to them. It was late by this point, well past my bedtime, and I was just exhausted. I simply require sleep. Some people get all nuts if they can't have a cigarette or a drink or if they're really hungry. If I'm really tired and it's really late and I can't, for whatever reason, go to bed immediately, I'm mentally done. I wasn't this way until a couple years ago. And I sort of don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. (Defensive much?) It's something I should work on so my loving boyfriend doesn't have to put up with my drama and can enjoy himself. I'm not that bad, really. I don't give him a really hard time about it or anything, but I know he can sense my discomfort. I realize it's probably a simple mindset shift to just be fine with being awake. Eh, whatever. SLEEP WINS.

We chatted with L and E for a bit and eventually left to head home in a cab, as they got in their car to drive the 40 minutes back to their house in the suburbs. Got home, was being bitchy to Kevin, didn't fall asleep until 2:45 or so. I'm really tired today. And I don't have much energy to exercise.

Woke up this morning and sweet Kev made me an egg sandwich for breakfast, and wrapped it up all thoughtfully for me to bring to work. I packed it up with a few snacks (grapes, trail mix, a gnu bar) and decided that we'd done well enough on consuming perishables before our trip that I could splurge and eat out for lunch today. Wahoo! It's been a while since I've done that, when I used to do it ALL the time, like every day. So it will be fun to get something yummy and different.

I think I'll also get a manicure on my lunch break. It's been seriously months if not a year since I've gotten a manicure. Not sure when I stopped or why. I used to get one once a week without fail. I'm sure money and time had a lot to do with it. I've been keeping my nails really short lately. It will be nice to get them done.

Might do a once-around the park tonight (40-60 minutes depending on how fast I walk or run) with Kevin. Might skip it, though, since I'm beat. The scale was friendly this morning (not why I'd skip the workout, mind you), which was nice. I feel slim today. I've been working out a lot lately, in retrospect. Taking lots of classes and getting in regular cardio, lifting here and there when I can, which hasn't been much. My back injury really freaked me out in some way that inspired me to just get out there every day if possible.

We're having dinner out tonight, finally using our gift certificate from our landladies as a thank you for watching their cats. It's tex mex, which we both love, and it's close to our apartment! Which is awesome.

The flight tomorrow is around 4. Can't wait to see my family and be in my hometown, experiencing life at a different pace. I hope the weather is nice.