Alert! Alert! I had a donut! For breakfast! Whaaat!?

Okay, first of all, last night did not go entirely as planned - I ate more than 30 points yesterday, for sure. More like 43 points. We had asian food after work - I had edamame, sake, brown rice, and some chicken with veggies and garlic sauce. Not great, not awful. (But so delicious.) And then we went to a birthday party and I had a couple beers and some cake! Aack! No huge deal, but it wasn't my plan. Oh shit and I just remembered I had a hearty handful of cheese-its when we got home. We'll pretend I forgot about those.

So, it's not the end of the world, but it certainly makes this amazing week I thought I was having a little harder to navigate going forward.

Then. In a fit of I-don't-even-know-what I had a donut for breakfast! I haven't had a donut, let alone for breakfast, in...it's been years. But. Here's the thing. The guy who makes my morning iced-coffees (there's a donut/coffee cart on every corner in the mornings in NYC) occasionally gives me a free donut or bagel or roll from his cart. That's a rare thing in this town so I almost always grin, say thank you (he prides himself on this generosity, which is so lovely, that I cannot turn down his gesture), and take zero or one bites of whatever he's given me and then find someone to give it away to or toss it. I'm sure he tosses them at the end of his shift anyway. So today was one of those days. And these donuts, they look incredible. And the last time he gave me one, I had two bites of it, died from pleasure, and had to pinch myself to get myself to stop eating it.

But this morning, he gave me a free donut and a free bagel with cream cheese (!) and I took one big bite of the donut as I kept walking to work and I just melted. It was amazing. So I took another bite and another. And then I thought, well I'll just eat half of it. And then I ate the whole thing! In an instant, a flash, if your hand was near my mouth, it would have been bitten. So. That happened. What can you do. It wasn't how I wanted to start my day, but I'm generally a great healthy-breakfast girl. So it's not gonna kill me. I knew as I was eating that this might mean potential derailment for the rest of my day, in that, eating a sugar bomb first thing in the morning is the best way to make sure you're hungry 25 minutes later and craving sugar and carbs all day long. And I did pause for a brief second while I was eating it to decide whether or not I wanted to combat that for the rest of the day. BUT. The desire to just eat a damn donut like a normal person outweighed everything else. So I finished it. I'm determined not to let that get the best of me. I did have a couple bites (almost to get something else besides donut in me) of the bagel with cream cheese, but only a couple and then I tossed it. Then I had a few dried cranberries just for variety.

I'm certainly hungry now. And it's only 11am. I don't usually eat lunch until 2 or 3. But I see a salad, perhaps around 1230 or so, in my future. A big salad with lots of veggies. It's the only way to go.

Donut for breakfast. Who knew. Throw caution to the wind, right? Ha. But I won't let it get the better of me today. Salad for lunch, as I said. And then we're grilling out tonight! We have some chicken we can do up. And I think I'll make another big salad and maybe even cut up some veggies to do kebabs on the grill too. That will be delish. So the rest of this day should be a veggie/protein kind of a day. I know I can do it.

I think a workout at lunchtime is in order. Perhaps some eliptical or a hike on the treadmill. Maybe I'll even skip the gym and go walk around central park on my break. But I must get in something. Last night's festivities and this morning's donut (and my sincere desire to have a stellar week this week) are reason enough.

That's it. Weekend plans are still moving forward. I'm looking forward to them. As a related-to-this-blog note, sometimes weekend plans like this can be tough for me because I get excited and start to mindlessly eat, almost to curb some kind of weird joyful anxiety. I can't quite explain it. It's not that I get anxious in "fun" situations like this. I think it's that I get so caught up in how much I'm enjoying what's happening that I just end up constantly reaching for more to munch on, if it's there I mean, because it soothes me somehow, I think. I'm not sure I'm explaining it correctly but I guess it's akin to a dog wagging it's tail or someone tapping their foot when they're eager. It's just an unconscious thing I do when there is an event with people and food around. I can certainly stop it if I'm aware of it, but sometimes I'll have consumed stuff before I even know what's going on. I'm sure those who've had weight issues in the past can relate. Point being, I'm going to try to conscious and aware this weekend of what I'm eating and when I'm snacking and I'm going to try to focus on enjoying my friends and the beautiful weather and the summertime and the chance to relax, rather than being unsoothed without something to munch on.

Blah blah. ;) Have a great weekend, everyone.