After missing my flight yesterday, waiting in a 3 hour line to reschedule it, a nice gentleman behind the counter giving me the Christmas gift of not charging me the extra billion dollars to change the flight, dropping a $50 bill in the bank that someone walked off with two seconds after it hit the floor, buying my mom an awesome gift that she'll love but leaving it at a friend's house and not having enough time to go get it before I fly out today, and seeing a horrible movie last night that was a huge waste of 2.75 hours of my life...I'M FINALLY HOMEWARD BOUND!!!!!
I fly out at 3:10. I'll leave for the airport in about an hour, maybe less. We'll get to my grandparents house in Quincy by 10pm, all together too late for an appropriate Christmas Eve. (We put the tree up on Christmas Eve in my family, since "Santa" brings the tree, as far as the kiddies are concerned.) But, I'm not gonna complain. Everything happens as it happens and as the Tao says, we have to learn to be satisfied with things exactly as they are. That's right, Tao, good advice.
So it will be a bit of an unorthodox Christmas Eve, but I'm going home, I'll be with my mom and my loving family, and then I'll be back in New York before I know it.
It's a beautiful day today. I'm sort of looking forward to going home, I guess. I wasn't before. But now I am.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the store to buy some gifts. Ahem.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006
Book It
I booked it. I got the job. Sweet. The temp agency woman says that I'm going in on Thursday and Friday of this week so they can try me out (I was in this same office on Friday, but temping for a different position) and if it goes well, I will return on January 2, after the holiday week off. So, I've basically got the gig. I'm quite quite pleased at this development. I won't adore working there, I don't think, but I will definitely live through it and that's all that matterz. Plus, money. Oh sweet, sweet delicious money. How I've missed you. I will never take you for granted again and our new life together will be better than you could have ever dreamed.
Only a few short days until I board a plane home to Chicago. Ooof. How did what was once awesome holiday time with my loving family turn into something that seems more like a chore? I love them all, it will be nice to see them and be together under one roof. But as I get older, it gets harder to stay patient and calm. I take LOTS of jogs outside when I'm there. It's the only way to get away. I don't have a drivers license.
Life is getting better every day. I won't go so far as to say things are perfect, but I feel a lot happier than I did a week ago. Work = got the job, therapy = back at it, holidays = in full swing and I think I'll survive yet another year, sketch comedy = awesome as always and we have 3 weeks off until our next show..oh yeaaaaahhhh, relationships = I'm feelin pretty good about stuff, which is a welcome surprise, healthy lifestyle = could always use improvment (she writes, as she checks the clock to see if she's going to be late for another holiday party complete with free beer and free food) but is as stable as it can be this time of year.
Oh yeah, and I have the world's cutest cat waiting at home for me every night. Sorry, but that wins.
:)
Only a few short days until I board a plane home to Chicago. Ooof. How did what was once awesome holiday time with my loving family turn into something that seems more like a chore? I love them all, it will be nice to see them and be together under one roof. But as I get older, it gets harder to stay patient and calm. I take LOTS of jogs outside when I'm there. It's the only way to get away. I don't have a drivers license.
Life is getting better every day. I won't go so far as to say things are perfect, but I feel a lot happier than I did a week ago. Work = got the job, therapy = back at it, holidays = in full swing and I think I'll survive yet another year, sketch comedy = awesome as always and we have 3 weeks off until our next show..oh yeaaaaahhhh, relationships = I'm feelin pretty good about stuff, which is a welcome surprise, healthy lifestyle = could always use improvment (she writes, as she checks the clock to see if she's going to be late for another holiday party complete with free beer and free food) but is as stable as it can be this time of year.
Oh yeah, and I have the world's cutest cat waiting at home for me every night. Sorry, but that wins.
:)
Friday, December 15, 2006
And WE'RE BACK...sorta.
Yo. Great news. I'm sitting at a JOB right now!!!! WAHOOOO.
Now, first thing's first...this isn't a real job just yet. I'm just temping today for the front desk person. However, it's at an organization where, most likely, I'll be employed full time starting next week sometime. They need someone until April to be the executive assistant to the CEO. My temp agency lady, who sent me on the round of interviews I had here last week, thinks they're gonna hire me because they really liked me best and because they asked to have me in today to temp the front desk gig...probably as a "trial." Sweet. So, fingers crossed, I'll be fully employed before Christmas. If this doesn't work out, I might give away all my worldly possessions and look into nomadism.
Things are on the up and up, methinks. I started back at therapy yesterday which is essential. The session was good and hard and that's why I go. It's also insta-perspective to sit there even for a mere 45 minutes. I heard myself saying stuff I've been saying for weeks, but suddenly when I said it to her, in that room, on that couch, it sounded totally different.
Being back in the workforce (I've been covering sporadic evening and weekend shifts at a theater I used to work at, but today is the first 9-5 deal I've had in two months.) is surprisingly refreshing. Having a job is a privilege. I see that now. My grandfather would be thrilled to hear me say that. It just felt really super to wake up this morning, even though it was early, even though I was sleepy, and know that I was gonna get some coffee, get on the train, go sit in an office, and get paid money in exchange for completing tasks. It's mechanically so simple, but delightful all at once.
I was able to write out a budget last night and soon I'll be able to make some payments I was really stressing about making. I'm pretty sure that Jobless 2006 is about to end. Two months was pretty much all I could handle. I feel like I'm being released back into civilized society with a new perspective on the choices I make and how they impact the things I want.
Plus, maybe I'll start taking some anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds soon, right? Why not. :)
Now, first thing's first...this isn't a real job just yet. I'm just temping today for the front desk person. However, it's at an organization where, most likely, I'll be employed full time starting next week sometime. They need someone until April to be the executive assistant to the CEO. My temp agency lady, who sent me on the round of interviews I had here last week, thinks they're gonna hire me because they really liked me best and because they asked to have me in today to temp the front desk gig...probably as a "trial." Sweet. So, fingers crossed, I'll be fully employed before Christmas. If this doesn't work out, I might give away all my worldly possessions and look into nomadism.
Things are on the up and up, methinks. I started back at therapy yesterday which is essential. The session was good and hard and that's why I go. It's also insta-perspective to sit there even for a mere 45 minutes. I heard myself saying stuff I've been saying for weeks, but suddenly when I said it to her, in that room, on that couch, it sounded totally different.
Being back in the workforce (I've been covering sporadic evening and weekend shifts at a theater I used to work at, but today is the first 9-5 deal I've had in two months.) is surprisingly refreshing. Having a job is a privilege. I see that now. My grandfather would be thrilled to hear me say that. It just felt really super to wake up this morning, even though it was early, even though I was sleepy, and know that I was gonna get some coffee, get on the train, go sit in an office, and get paid money in exchange for completing tasks. It's mechanically so simple, but delightful all at once.
I was able to write out a budget last night and soon I'll be able to make some payments I was really stressing about making. I'm pretty sure that Jobless 2006 is about to end. Two months was pretty much all I could handle. I feel like I'm being released back into civilized society with a new perspective on the choices I make and how they impact the things I want.
Plus, maybe I'll start taking some anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds soon, right? Why not. :)
Monday, December 11, 2006
Fear
The thing about fear is, you can't let it dictate your life. I mean, it's such a simple concept, but one that everyone should work to constantly practice. I certainly don't want to live a fearful life.
I've realized recently that something in my life that's very important to me is also something I've been moving around in, based on fear. I can't keep doing that. I want to have full experiences, not half-versions of full experiences.
Sometimes we have to make really hard decisions when we realize that something is not enough. I've never been terribly good at that....at walking away from something that wasn't enough, in favor of finding something better. But I'm getting better at it and I intend to keep getting better at it.
I think I'm gonna go back to therapy this week, after several weeks off because I couldn't afford it. It's gonna feel like taking a deep breath.
I've realized recently that something in my life that's very important to me is also something I've been moving around in, based on fear. I can't keep doing that. I want to have full experiences, not half-versions of full experiences.
Sometimes we have to make really hard decisions when we realize that something is not enough. I've never been terribly good at that....at walking away from something that wasn't enough, in favor of finding something better. But I'm getting better at it and I intend to keep getting better at it.
I think I'm gonna go back to therapy this week, after several weeks off because I couldn't afford it. It's gonna feel like taking a deep breath.
Friday, December 01, 2006
zzzzzzzz
(Remember when I used to post photos on this damn blog? Those were the days. Apparently I might be getting a digital camera for la navidad from la madre. So GET READY. My cat's gonna be so overphotographed and overexposed, I'm gonna be rich.)
So I had a sketch show on Wednesday night, an improv show last night, and I have another sketch show on Saturday. That leaves tonight. I think I'll sit around.
I didn't sleep at home last night so I woke up earlier than usual and dammit if this might not be the key to getting back to a normal sleep schedule. As in, what if I started getting up before noon? Who's with me? Maybe I'll be tired enough to fall asleep at a human hour tonight. This rocks.
I feel like things are about to get busy, but things have generally been busy. Bring snacks.
So I had a sketch show on Wednesday night, an improv show last night, and I have another sketch show on Saturday. That leaves tonight. I think I'll sit around.
I didn't sleep at home last night so I woke up earlier than usual and dammit if this might not be the key to getting back to a normal sleep schedule. As in, what if I started getting up before noon? Who's with me? Maybe I'll be tired enough to fall asleep at a human hour tonight. This rocks.
I feel like things are about to get busy, but things have generally been busy. Bring snacks.
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