Stayed basically the same this past week, scale-wise. Surprising because I felt like I didn't workout very much last week, and although I ate better than I've been known to in past weeks, it wasn't anything amazing.
This week is already proving challenging. I have been feeling a little run down - just tired and allergic to the spring and generally lethargic. Working out has not been at the forefront of things I want to do with my time. I was able to convince Kevin to go for some cardio in the park on Saturday, but that's the last time I exercised. And I haven't lifted in over a week. Gah. I meant to do it yesterday on my lunchbreak, but it didn't happen. And I was planning to go today, but now that the hour nears, I'm trading up for a dinner out with my man. We're getting sushi so at least I won't overeat in addition.
I kept vascillating all day long about tonight's exercise. First it was Of course! Then it was We'll see. Then it became YOU'RE GOING. Now it's Hi Kevin, what are you doing at 7:30pm?
The current plan is to get something in tomorrow on my lunch break. I'm seeing Xanadu on Broadway tomorrow night so it will have to be the lunch break. Then I hope to get something in on Friday evening, after my headshot session (getting new ones on Friday). And again on Saturday during the day. We leave for Charleston on Sunday morning, so I'd really like to feel healthy as we leave town. It will inspire me to try to get some activity in on the trip AND I won't feel so terribly if I don't get any activity in on the trip.
But my god am I sick of the conversation in my head. I WANT to be working out, is the thing. But life just doesn't always make that possible. I'm fine with that. But I'm fascinated by how much energy and desire I have to do it sometimes, verses other times when I would rather stick pins in my eyes.
I'm sleepy.
I think I'm getting sick.
Naturally. I called in sick last week so I could shoot Sesame Street (and I will be sure to mention when that's airing because people have been so sweet to ask) and I thought, "I bet you I actually get sick. Karma." And then, of course, when I got into the office the day after the "sickness" I felt like I needed to act a little rundown to really sell it. Ridiculous, perhaps, but it's a small office. I couldn't exactly be bopping around. I'd just called in sick two days in a row! Anyway. What the mind believes, the body achieves. Even where acting rundown is concerned. So now I'm rundown in reality. Not just for show.
Bitch bitch bitch, right? Sorry. Better on this blog than to my boyfriend who probably doesn't need to hear it.
In better (!) news, I'm eating less and less lately. I did another Trader Joe's run late last week and it was a success. I bought lots of yummy stuff and we've been eating it up like crazy. I'm still spending more money on eating out than I want to spend, but that's how it goes. I've brought my lunch several times recently and have eaten many dinners at home rather than ordering in. That's big money and health progress for sure.
My goal in Charleston is to eat normally. I usually do on these trips. But it's week long! So the temptations will abound, including, but not limited to alcohol. I'm not a huge drinker, but those calories add up fast regardless. I think the key will be to make sure I start off each morning with a healthy, nutritious breakfast. That usually sets me on a good path. And lunch, of course, should be something with very little white bread. Dinners will be where it gets tricky. But I'm determined to return from the trip feeling good about my choices and good about conquering a week out of town.
Okay. Everyone send me your exercise motivation vibes. I need a divine intervention.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
La la la la...
Alright. This WW week is off to an interesting start.
First of all, I lost a couple pounds according to this morning's weigh-in. That's welcome news. It means I've lost a grand total of 5 pounds since my recommitment on January 1. (To be fair, I lost those 5 pounds in the first three months and then gained a couple back. But I'm officially down 5 now and it's NOT coming back, dammit.) Five pounds is an amount I would have scoffed at back in the days when I could drop 10 pounds by blinking. Of course, those were also the days when I had tens and tens of pounds to drop...so I guess it all evens out. I'm totally more than comfortable with this progress. It's a pound a month. Not newsworthy, but definitely better than being 5 pounds heavier and uncomfortable in my clothes. I'm reminded of a time when 5 pounds didn't make a bit of difference in how I looked or felt. So it's nice to recognize what an impact it's had this time around. I feel much better. 5 more pounds off and I won't know what to do with myself! ;)
All that said, I've had a weirdo food day so far, which I refuse to let derail me, but it's presented a bit of a challenge.
I got to work this morning and had a bagel and cream cheese (grocery store bought, so I know the exact cals). I didn't have any fruit, which I usually try to incorporate into breakfast, but I wasn't gonna sweat it. I usually let myself indulge a little on weigh-in days and a bagel with cream cheese sounded perfect. Then, just as I was getting peckish around 1pm, the boss asked me to go get his lunch. And since I didn't bring my own lunch today, I figured I'd get something for myself too.
I went to Pret-a-Manger. I had a delicious hummus sandwich in my hand (6 points total - so fucking yummy) when this new "spicy falafel wrap" caught my eye. I love falafel. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be too many calories! This particular restaurant has yet to don the calorie counts on their menus, so I wasn't entirely sure what kind of decision I was making. But I was hungry and it looked yummy and I knew I could just google their nutrition info when I got back to the office. So I put back the hummus sandwich (oh beautiful hummus sandwich, I will never forsake you again) and grabbed the wrap and also chose a tiny sweet square that they sell at the counter and that was that.
Regret abounds. The spicy falafel wrap, although reasonably tasty, was not amazing. And they didn't HAVE the info for this particular wrap on their site because it's a new sandwich (keep up, website!) so all I could do was look up the other wraps and guesstimate - and the OTHER wraps range from 12 to 19 points each! WHAT! FUCK THAT.
So I ripped some of the bready wrap part off, to avoid those extra cals, only ate half the sandwich, which wasn't remotely filling or satisfying, and wrapped up the rest for another time. Who knows how many points it cost me. Disappointing to say the least.
Then I looked up the sweet bar's nutrition info and it turns out I could have saved a good 70 calories by getting the mini brownie rather than the mini cookie bar I chose. No big deal, and those of you unfamiliar with the woes of weight-watcherdom are probably rolling your eyes by now, if you've even gotten this far, but the point is, these things can be just a little frustrating. On day one, meal two of a new week - you want to feel better about your choices. Plus, I can't be affording to sacrifice perfectly good lunching opportunities on some shitty high calorie food. Alack, I'll live. Hungrier than I'd like to be, but I'll live. I guess it's fruit for me all afternoon. Fabulous.
I'll head to the gym in about an hour probably for some stretching and lifting. It will feel good on the ol' muscles for sure. I fear being very hungry later today, after lifting and not having eaten a nutritious lunch. So getting through this day without dipping too far into flex is going to be my primary goal.
I'm going to see the Kanye West concert tonight (for free!) and it's gonna be a long night, I think. So I'll hit the gym in a bit, snack on fruit in the afternoon, find some sort of filling, protein based thing to have before the concert, and beeline home to Kev afterwards - maybe he will make me a late light dinner. :) Hope he's up for it!
Tomorrow will include a good workout too, after work and before my improv show. I'm gonna do my best to get some exercise in each day for the next few days. Even if it's something small, it's feasible.
First of all, I lost a couple pounds according to this morning's weigh-in. That's welcome news. It means I've lost a grand total of 5 pounds since my recommitment on January 1. (To be fair, I lost those 5 pounds in the first three months and then gained a couple back. But I'm officially down 5 now and it's NOT coming back, dammit.) Five pounds is an amount I would have scoffed at back in the days when I could drop 10 pounds by blinking. Of course, those were also the days when I had tens and tens of pounds to drop...so I guess it all evens out. I'm totally more than comfortable with this progress. It's a pound a month. Not newsworthy, but definitely better than being 5 pounds heavier and uncomfortable in my clothes. I'm reminded of a time when 5 pounds didn't make a bit of difference in how I looked or felt. So it's nice to recognize what an impact it's had this time around. I feel much better. 5 more pounds off and I won't know what to do with myself! ;)
All that said, I've had a weirdo food day so far, which I refuse to let derail me, but it's presented a bit of a challenge.
I got to work this morning and had a bagel and cream cheese (grocery store bought, so I know the exact cals). I didn't have any fruit, which I usually try to incorporate into breakfast, but I wasn't gonna sweat it. I usually let myself indulge a little on weigh-in days and a bagel with cream cheese sounded perfect. Then, just as I was getting peckish around 1pm, the boss asked me to go get his lunch. And since I didn't bring my own lunch today, I figured I'd get something for myself too.
I went to Pret-a-Manger. I had a delicious hummus sandwich in my hand (6 points total - so fucking yummy) when this new "spicy falafel wrap" caught my eye. I love falafel. And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't be too many calories! This particular restaurant has yet to don the calorie counts on their menus, so I wasn't entirely sure what kind of decision I was making. But I was hungry and it looked yummy and I knew I could just google their nutrition info when I got back to the office. So I put back the hummus sandwich (oh beautiful hummus sandwich, I will never forsake you again) and grabbed the wrap and also chose a tiny sweet square that they sell at the counter and that was that.
Regret abounds. The spicy falafel wrap, although reasonably tasty, was not amazing. And they didn't HAVE the info for this particular wrap on their site because it's a new sandwich (keep up, website!) so all I could do was look up the other wraps and guesstimate - and the OTHER wraps range from 12 to 19 points each! WHAT! FUCK THAT.
So I ripped some of the bready wrap part off, to avoid those extra cals, only ate half the sandwich, which wasn't remotely filling or satisfying, and wrapped up the rest for another time. Who knows how many points it cost me. Disappointing to say the least.
Then I looked up the sweet bar's nutrition info and it turns out I could have saved a good 70 calories by getting the mini brownie rather than the mini cookie bar I chose. No big deal, and those of you unfamiliar with the woes of weight-watcherdom are probably rolling your eyes by now, if you've even gotten this far, but the point is, these things can be just a little frustrating. On day one, meal two of a new week - you want to feel better about your choices. Plus, I can't be affording to sacrifice perfectly good lunching opportunities on some shitty high calorie food. Alack, I'll live. Hungrier than I'd like to be, but I'll live. I guess it's fruit for me all afternoon. Fabulous.
I'll head to the gym in about an hour probably for some stretching and lifting. It will feel good on the ol' muscles for sure. I fear being very hungry later today, after lifting and not having eaten a nutritious lunch. So getting through this day without dipping too far into flex is going to be my primary goal.
I'm going to see the Kanye West concert tonight (for free!) and it's gonna be a long night, I think. So I'll hit the gym in a bit, snack on fruit in the afternoon, find some sort of filling, protein based thing to have before the concert, and beeline home to Kev afterwards - maybe he will make me a late light dinner. :) Hope he's up for it!
Tomorrow will include a good workout too, after work and before my improv show. I'm gonna do my best to get some exercise in each day for the next few days. Even if it's something small, it's feasible.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Cookietown, Population: Me.
I've had one of the better weeks I've had in a while this past week. Proud of myself for the extra effort.
I did, however, eat two relatively big cookies today, that someone cruelly brought into work. These are amazing, delicious, yummy cookies. And there's been a whole huge tub of these babies sitting in the office kitchen since like 11am. I didn't discover them until 12noon; when I saw them, I became overjoyed, panicked, grabbed one and ate half of it on the spot like if I didn't devour it right then someone would come steal all the cookies and I'd get none.
It was a bit much.
Then, of course, I saved the other half of the first cookie to have after lunch. Which I did. And then I wanted a second cookie. I'm polishing it off right now.
And it's delicious. But let me remind myself that it will be gone in a few seconds and I sorta wish I didn't have the second one afterall. Oh, food addicts. Aren't we the wildest?
Otherwise, I've had a really nice week. I've eaten less this week than I've eaten in months - I'm so proud of that. I still went over flex by a few, but nothing like 20 points over. More like 10 or 12, which is seriously a record for me. Plus, I got in a nice amount of cardio (not the four sessions I was hoping for, but three really good sessions) and a pilates class.
I did no lifting this week and I'm eager to get back to it because I love how lean and strong it makes me feel, but I think taking a break from it for a week allowed me to drop some on the scale, even if it's only a pound. I'm feeling very slim in general right now. My clothes are fitting well, my skin feels tight, my body feels lighter, like I can move through space with ease. It's nice.
In two weeks I'll be heading off to Charleston, SC for a week to perform at a comedy festival down there. We went last year, you might recall, and had SUCH a great time and we're going back for the same Piccolo Spoletto Festival this year. Kevin's joining us, which is basically the best thing ever. He was there last year too. I'm nuts about the kid, so it's delightful for me that he comes on these trips. He does the lights and sound for HST (and he's a master at it).
Anyway, as it relates to this blog, the trip could prove challenging. I'm sure I'll have some opportunity to exercise - we'll be staying downtown, and there's plenty of places to go jogging, but food might be a bit more difficult to navigate. I'll basically be on a working vacation with 9 of my closest friends. It's hard to eat perfectly in those situations. But I will give it my all. In the meantime, it's important that I do plenty before the trip to offset any potential damage. I'm excited to weigh-in tomorrow. Even if I've only lost a pound, it will be a step in the right direction. Not to mention, I KNOW the last 4.5 months of exercising more diligently and eating more mindfully (I recommitted after a year of being really lax on 1/1/08) have made a big impact on my body, even if I don't see the results on the scale all the time. I'm buying/wearing clothes that I wouldn't have dared put on a few months ago. I just bought the cutest blue summer dress at the gap that hangs on me in a way it would NOT have in January. I'm really pleased with this. My body has changed shape. That's key.
My success this past week certainly related to the fact that Kevin and I went grocery shopping and I ate those foods for many of my meals. We've really had fun preparing stuff together in the kitchen - he's cooked me dinner a couple times which is pretty much the greatest. And I've been bringing salad's to work for lunch, eating lower-calorie breakfast foods, and making smart choices for dinners. I think it's definitely the key to having a successfully healthy summer - eating-in more than we've been known to do. I think we're both excited for that. And the cash savings goes without saying.
I hope to have another stellar week this upcoming week. We will get in another trip to Trader Joe's soon, I hope. And I will do my best to make good use of all that we buy. And I plan to get at least two lifting workouts in, in addition to a pilates class. Last week's, although easy, was a nice change of pace from doing it by myself. I also hope to get in 3-4 cardio sessions once again. Hopefully some nice long outside jogs can happen.
We shoot Sesame Street on Thursday and Friday of this week. I'm looking forward to it and I think it will motivate me to have a great Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in terms of food and exercise.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how beautiful I feel. Perhaps that sounds a bit vain, but when you were once 260+ pounds, it's not vain, I promise you.
When I was a young kid, I wasn't heavy. I definitely had body image issues, always felt less girlie than the pretty girls at school, and fat, because my mom bitched about her body. So I thought I should dislike mine too. And then it became a self fulfilling prophecy. I got as fat as I felt. And THEN I realized, gah, I was never fat before. I was just misguided. And that same cycle, in ten pound increments, repeated itself until I was unrecognizable. What a difficult series of years.
And the worst part was, it was during the time when the rest of the young women in my age group were, for the most part, learning to dress in cute, sexy clothes that flattered their figures, and discovering how to wear make-up and do their hair perfectly and eventually don bikinis in the summer. And I never felt like that was stuff I could or should be doing.
I will say that, on a psychological level, I'm sometimes glad I didn't have the opportunity to be vain in that way as a young woman, because it gave me a level-head about what really mattered and it also gave a sharp sense of humor, which I grew to combat my hurt feelings. It's sort of nice to have had to wait until I was a little older to feel so self confident. Because I can appreciate what life is like when you don't feel self confident.
But lately, I'm feeling really lovely. I'll probably never be able to wear a tiny bikini on a beach full of attractive people and feel fantastic. But I'm not sure that anyone I know can. Regardless of any of that kind of stuff, I feel good about who I've become.
I did, however, eat two relatively big cookies today, that someone cruelly brought into work. These are amazing, delicious, yummy cookies. And there's been a whole huge tub of these babies sitting in the office kitchen since like 11am. I didn't discover them until 12noon; when I saw them, I became overjoyed, panicked, grabbed one and ate half of it on the spot like if I didn't devour it right then someone would come steal all the cookies and I'd get none.
It was a bit much.
Then, of course, I saved the other half of the first cookie to have after lunch. Which I did. And then I wanted a second cookie. I'm polishing it off right now.
And it's delicious. But let me remind myself that it will be gone in a few seconds and I sorta wish I didn't have the second one afterall. Oh, food addicts. Aren't we the wildest?
Otherwise, I've had a really nice week. I've eaten less this week than I've eaten in months - I'm so proud of that. I still went over flex by a few, but nothing like 20 points over. More like 10 or 12, which is seriously a record for me. Plus, I got in a nice amount of cardio (not the four sessions I was hoping for, but three really good sessions) and a pilates class.
I did no lifting this week and I'm eager to get back to it because I love how lean and strong it makes me feel, but I think taking a break from it for a week allowed me to drop some on the scale, even if it's only a pound. I'm feeling very slim in general right now. My clothes are fitting well, my skin feels tight, my body feels lighter, like I can move through space with ease. It's nice.
In two weeks I'll be heading off to Charleston, SC for a week to perform at a comedy festival down there. We went last year, you might recall, and had SUCH a great time and we're going back for the same Piccolo Spoletto Festival this year. Kevin's joining us, which is basically the best thing ever. He was there last year too. I'm nuts about the kid, so it's delightful for me that he comes on these trips. He does the lights and sound for HST (and he's a master at it).
Anyway, as it relates to this blog, the trip could prove challenging. I'm sure I'll have some opportunity to exercise - we'll be staying downtown, and there's plenty of places to go jogging, but food might be a bit more difficult to navigate. I'll basically be on a working vacation with 9 of my closest friends. It's hard to eat perfectly in those situations. But I will give it my all. In the meantime, it's important that I do plenty before the trip to offset any potential damage. I'm excited to weigh-in tomorrow. Even if I've only lost a pound, it will be a step in the right direction. Not to mention, I KNOW the last 4.5 months of exercising more diligently and eating more mindfully (I recommitted after a year of being really lax on 1/1/08) have made a big impact on my body, even if I don't see the results on the scale all the time. I'm buying/wearing clothes that I wouldn't have dared put on a few months ago. I just bought the cutest blue summer dress at the gap that hangs on me in a way it would NOT have in January. I'm really pleased with this. My body has changed shape. That's key.
My success this past week certainly related to the fact that Kevin and I went grocery shopping and I ate those foods for many of my meals. We've really had fun preparing stuff together in the kitchen - he's cooked me dinner a couple times which is pretty much the greatest. And I've been bringing salad's to work for lunch, eating lower-calorie breakfast foods, and making smart choices for dinners. I think it's definitely the key to having a successfully healthy summer - eating-in more than we've been known to do. I think we're both excited for that. And the cash savings goes without saying.
I hope to have another stellar week this upcoming week. We will get in another trip to Trader Joe's soon, I hope. And I will do my best to make good use of all that we buy. And I plan to get at least two lifting workouts in, in addition to a pilates class. Last week's, although easy, was a nice change of pace from doing it by myself. I also hope to get in 3-4 cardio sessions once again. Hopefully some nice long outside jogs can happen.
We shoot Sesame Street on Thursday and Friday of this week. I'm looking forward to it and I think it will motivate me to have a great Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in terms of food and exercise.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how beautiful I feel. Perhaps that sounds a bit vain, but when you were once 260+ pounds, it's not vain, I promise you.
When I was a young kid, I wasn't heavy. I definitely had body image issues, always felt less girlie than the pretty girls at school, and fat, because my mom bitched about her body. So I thought I should dislike mine too. And then it became a self fulfilling prophecy. I got as fat as I felt. And THEN I realized, gah, I was never fat before. I was just misguided. And that same cycle, in ten pound increments, repeated itself until I was unrecognizable. What a difficult series of years.
And the worst part was, it was during the time when the rest of the young women in my age group were, for the most part, learning to dress in cute, sexy clothes that flattered their figures, and discovering how to wear make-up and do their hair perfectly and eventually don bikinis in the summer. And I never felt like that was stuff I could or should be doing.
I will say that, on a psychological level, I'm sometimes glad I didn't have the opportunity to be vain in that way as a young woman, because it gave me a level-head about what really mattered and it also gave a sharp sense of humor, which I grew to combat my hurt feelings. It's sort of nice to have had to wait until I was a little older to feel so self confident. Because I can appreciate what life is like when you don't feel self confident.
But lately, I'm feeling really lovely. I'll probably never be able to wear a tiny bikini on a beach full of attractive people and feel fantastic. But I'm not sure that anyone I know can. Regardless of any of that kind of stuff, I feel good about who I've become.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
I'm one hurtin' puppy today, cats. I'm fucking exhausted right now, to say the least. It's due to a combination of factors that have all gathered together and formed an unfortunate dog-tiredness. And that's a shame on a day like today, which is going to be non-stop. I can only hope that my condition improves before the evening. I'm gonna need some sleep this weekend.
I can honestly say I haven't been tired in this way in months. I've been obsessed with getting plenty of sleep in my old age. In the last year or so I have become practically incapable of staying awake beyond 1am. I used to stay up much later every night; I've always been a night owl. But something has happened as I grow closer to 30 (wow, did I just write that?) and now I'm no good come midnight. And last night I was awake until probably 2:30am. And what would have once been some minor sleepiness the morning following a late bedtime has become a handicap. I'm beat, guys. I'm beat. I would pay anyone cash money to get me a nap.
Improv show last night - it was fun. And then I went to the bar afterwards, had one drink, chatted up a good friend/teammate and we left around 1am. Ugh. Time is a black hole in that bar. Hours can pass in an instant and suddenly you're fucked. But everyone else has to get up and out of the house to work the next morning too, so you justify it that way and you stay another ten minutes/fifty/hundred-twenty minutes longer than you meant to. Aaack.
Kev and I got back to queens, hung with Daniel who had his official graduation from his Masters program yesterday, and finally crashed into bed around 2:10, trying to stay awake to talk about something we wanted to discuss. Our eyes were closed by the time we decided to turn out the light, even though we were both still mumbling. Silly since I can't remember a lick of the conversation now, of course. Sweet Kevin slept in his clothes because he was too tired to take them off. Even the cat was tired.
I woke up this morning, hurting. Headache, fuzzy brain, body exhaustion. I bitched as I woke up, "I hate waking uuuuuup!" outloud to the cat. Lovely, right? Yeah, I'm a lamb. I took some advil, but that's not gonna do much.
Tonight is a big night. It's gonna be a long one too. Tonight Harvard Sailing Team, my sketch group, is hosting a big show/party/event. We're all really excited about it. It's a "Best Of" Show (we've been together for 3 years and have a ridiculous amount of material, so we're doing a bunch of old favorites - and they are sketches that our fans voted into the show - fun!) and a launch party for our brand new fancy website. Also, our good friends, the sketch group Pangea 3000 is opening for us. Also, we're having an open wine bar before during and after the show! It's gonna be nuts.
So basically, after rushing like crazy to get there on time from work, it will be tons of mingling, chatting, smiling and being gracious, followed by an hour long sketch comedy show, which is basically non-stop run run run from the beginning for all of us (sometimes it feels like a light cardio workout to me and this is particularly action packed show because it's a Best Of show), followed by more mingling, chatting, smiling, and drinking wine. Oof. Not to mention, we'll probably have to stick around to clean up after. I have no idea what time I'll pour my body into bed tonight, but I'm certain it won't be as soon as I want it to be.
I'm actually - don't laugh - really looking forward to tonight, despite my terrible 'tude. I love doing big shows like this. And it's even more fun because we're doing material that we all really love and enjoy performing and haven't gotten to perform in years. The audience will be filled with fans and supportive friends, so we will definitely have a blast. I'm sure the energy will be electric. If anything can shake my sleepiness, it's the adrenaline from all that.
I only wish I'd gone to bed at 9pm last night. Ah well. Live and learn. And then sleep it off.
Besides my late night last night, yesterday was intense in its own right. I ate really well all day, lots of fruits and veggies and barely went over points (just over by 2 at the end of the night with my gin and soda at the bar), so that was great. But I also worked out. Twice! I went for my Central Park run at lunch, which was lovely, but also really hard because it was 80 degrees here yesterday. So I was really pushing through it and I was really drained when it was over. That fucking park has so many hills! Death. And then, after work was over, I went to a 7:30 pilates class. I wasn't trying to go crazy with the exercise yesterday, but I've been meaning to take this class and it was too perfect of a day to stay inside at lunchtime, so it just worked out this way. But my god, I was spent after all was said and done. And THEN, to make matters worse, I went home and tried out this insanely difficult new ab gadget that Daniel just bought, which basically works your entire body from top to bottom and makes you feel like you're wearing a vest of your own abdominal muscles when you're done. I had to try it out, of course, at 2am, of course, and I did about 6 reps of it felt like I'd just run 2 miles. Slightly sore today. And tired. Did I mention?
Anyway, all's well on the WW front. Feeling good about my momentum this week. Making good choices, getting in a ton of activity. My clothes are fitting better, the scale was down bigtime this morning, and I feel light and healthy. It's nice.
I'm not gonna workout today, even though I brought my clothes with me. It will be good to have a rest day. I'll get something in tomorrow for sure. It would be bliss to call in sick tomorrow so I can stay out late tonight and not worry about it, but it just can't happen. (Since I have to call in sick NEXT Thursday/Friday so I can go shoot Sesame Street. Eeek!)
Saturday we're going to Rockland to visit Kevin's family for Mother's Day. (His parents aren't available on Sunday.) It will be nice to see them and the nephew, Craig, who is gonna be 2 next month. He's a precious babyface. Should be an enjoyable afternoon even though all I want to do right now is burrow into my bed on Friday night and not emerge until Monday morning.
Jesus, I'm the life of the party, huh? ;)
I can honestly say I haven't been tired in this way in months. I've been obsessed with getting plenty of sleep in my old age. In the last year or so I have become practically incapable of staying awake beyond 1am. I used to stay up much later every night; I've always been a night owl. But something has happened as I grow closer to 30 (wow, did I just write that?) and now I'm no good come midnight. And last night I was awake until probably 2:30am. And what would have once been some minor sleepiness the morning following a late bedtime has become a handicap. I'm beat, guys. I'm beat. I would pay anyone cash money to get me a nap.
Improv show last night - it was fun. And then I went to the bar afterwards, had one drink, chatted up a good friend/teammate and we left around 1am. Ugh. Time is a black hole in that bar. Hours can pass in an instant and suddenly you're fucked. But everyone else has to get up and out of the house to work the next morning too, so you justify it that way and you stay another ten minutes/fifty/hundred-twenty minutes longer than you meant to. Aaack.
Kev and I got back to queens, hung with Daniel who had his official graduation from his Masters program yesterday, and finally crashed into bed around 2:10, trying to stay awake to talk about something we wanted to discuss. Our eyes were closed by the time we decided to turn out the light, even though we were both still mumbling. Silly since I can't remember a lick of the conversation now, of course. Sweet Kevin slept in his clothes because he was too tired to take them off. Even the cat was tired.
I woke up this morning, hurting. Headache, fuzzy brain, body exhaustion. I bitched as I woke up, "I hate waking uuuuuup!" outloud to the cat. Lovely, right? Yeah, I'm a lamb. I took some advil, but that's not gonna do much.
Tonight is a big night. It's gonna be a long one too. Tonight Harvard Sailing Team, my sketch group, is hosting a big show/party/event. We're all really excited about it. It's a "Best Of" Show (we've been together for 3 years and have a ridiculous amount of material, so we're doing a bunch of old favorites - and they are sketches that our fans voted into the show - fun!) and a launch party for our brand new fancy website. Also, our good friends, the sketch group Pangea 3000 is opening for us. Also, we're having an open wine bar before during and after the show! It's gonna be nuts.
So basically, after rushing like crazy to get there on time from work, it will be tons of mingling, chatting, smiling and being gracious, followed by an hour long sketch comedy show, which is basically non-stop run run run from the beginning for all of us (sometimes it feels like a light cardio workout to me and this is particularly action packed show because it's a Best Of show), followed by more mingling, chatting, smiling, and drinking wine. Oof. Not to mention, we'll probably have to stick around to clean up after. I have no idea what time I'll pour my body into bed tonight, but I'm certain it won't be as soon as I want it to be.
I'm actually - don't laugh - really looking forward to tonight, despite my terrible 'tude. I love doing big shows like this. And it's even more fun because we're doing material that we all really love and enjoy performing and haven't gotten to perform in years. The audience will be filled with fans and supportive friends, so we will definitely have a blast. I'm sure the energy will be electric. If anything can shake my sleepiness, it's the adrenaline from all that.
I only wish I'd gone to bed at 9pm last night. Ah well. Live and learn. And then sleep it off.
Besides my late night last night, yesterday was intense in its own right. I ate really well all day, lots of fruits and veggies and barely went over points (just over by 2 at the end of the night with my gin and soda at the bar), so that was great. But I also worked out. Twice! I went for my Central Park run at lunch, which was lovely, but also really hard because it was 80 degrees here yesterday. So I was really pushing through it and I was really drained when it was over. That fucking park has so many hills! Death. And then, after work was over, I went to a 7:30 pilates class. I wasn't trying to go crazy with the exercise yesterday, but I've been meaning to take this class and it was too perfect of a day to stay inside at lunchtime, so it just worked out this way. But my god, I was spent after all was said and done. And THEN, to make matters worse, I went home and tried out this insanely difficult new ab gadget that Daniel just bought, which basically works your entire body from top to bottom and makes you feel like you're wearing a vest of your own abdominal muscles when you're done. I had to try it out, of course, at 2am, of course, and I did about 6 reps of it felt like I'd just run 2 miles. Slightly sore today. And tired. Did I mention?
Anyway, all's well on the WW front. Feeling good about my momentum this week. Making good choices, getting in a ton of activity. My clothes are fitting better, the scale was down bigtime this morning, and I feel light and healthy. It's nice.
I'm not gonna workout today, even though I brought my clothes with me. It will be good to have a rest day. I'll get something in tomorrow for sure. It would be bliss to call in sick tomorrow so I can stay out late tonight and not worry about it, but it just can't happen. (Since I have to call in sick NEXT Thursday/Friday so I can go shoot Sesame Street. Eeek!)
Saturday we're going to Rockland to visit Kevin's family for Mother's Day. (His parents aren't available on Sunday.) It will be nice to see them and the nephew, Craig, who is gonna be 2 next month. He's a precious babyface. Should be an enjoyable afternoon even though all I want to do right now is burrow into my bed on Friday night and not emerge until Monday morning.
Jesus, I'm the life of the party, huh? ;)
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
New Week
It's a "new" week, as of today, for my WW life. I weigh the same that I did last week. Who cares.
I'm off to a good start this week and intend to hold onto this tiny bit of momentum. Some good news: my sketch comedy group booked a gig on Sesame Street. SESAME STREET! THAT is super cool to me. So, the point, as it relates to this blog, is that I want to look good on the tv. You know, so the kidlets who watch Sesame will find me attractive and want to date me when they grow up. Nah, I just want to look good on the tv because it's the first real tv show I'll ever be on, in fact it was once my very favorite tv show, and I want to feel good about my ass and how it looks in my jeans. Wouldn't you?
We film next week so hopefully this short term goal can keep me on a great food/exercise track for at least a week. Doing so would likely kick this scale plateau to the curb.
I'd love to see the plateau break. But it's not about losing a bunch more weight - it's more about making sure I'm always at a weight where I can occasionally eat nachos and drink margaritas and not care if said Mexican night causes me to gain 3 pounds. I'm pretty much there now, but a little extra insurance never hurts. Does that make sense? So onward we go.
I have been making more restrictive choices today than usual, food-wise. I just want to TRY to eat a bit less each day this week and see how my brain and body respond. I can't do deprivation. I must eat what I want. Period. But I can make more restrictive choices from time to time and substitute healthy things for cravings when necessary. This is the week to give it my best.
It's so gorgeous in NYC today - I went for a 35 minute run in Central Park on my lunch break. My office is 5 blocks from the park, so it was perfect. I really enjoyed being outside, even though it was a pretty tough run.
There's a pilates class at 7:30 tomorrow night that I can probably make after work/before my improv show if I hussle. So I'm gonna attempt that too. Just looking to shake things up a bit from my regular lifting routine. I could just lift tomorrow night after work, but I feel like I could use a little outside encouragement in the form of a teacher bossing me around.
I'm hungry right now, after eating a relatively light lunch. I might try to find something filling to tide me over until dinnertime. Perhaps banana and PB on an english muffin? We'll see...Hopefully Kev and I will put together dinner from our Trader Joe's bounty when we get back to his place tonight after rehearsal. We have so much good stuff for meals.
I'm sort of excited to eat less for a few days. It's kinda fun sometimes. Is that totally insane? It might be. See me again at 10pm tonight after a glass of wine and a kitchen stocked full of food. Oh yeah, eating less is a fucking laughriot.
I'm off to a good start this week and intend to hold onto this tiny bit of momentum. Some good news: my sketch comedy group booked a gig on Sesame Street. SESAME STREET! THAT is super cool to me. So, the point, as it relates to this blog, is that I want to look good on the tv. You know, so the kidlets who watch Sesame will find me attractive and want to date me when they grow up. Nah, I just want to look good on the tv because it's the first real tv show I'll ever be on, in fact it was once my very favorite tv show, and I want to feel good about my ass and how it looks in my jeans. Wouldn't you?
We film next week so hopefully this short term goal can keep me on a great food/exercise track for at least a week. Doing so would likely kick this scale plateau to the curb.
I'd love to see the plateau break. But it's not about losing a bunch more weight - it's more about making sure I'm always at a weight where I can occasionally eat nachos and drink margaritas and not care if said Mexican night causes me to gain 3 pounds. I'm pretty much there now, but a little extra insurance never hurts. Does that make sense? So onward we go.
I have been making more restrictive choices today than usual, food-wise. I just want to TRY to eat a bit less each day this week and see how my brain and body respond. I can't do deprivation. I must eat what I want. Period. But I can make more restrictive choices from time to time and substitute healthy things for cravings when necessary. This is the week to give it my best.
It's so gorgeous in NYC today - I went for a 35 minute run in Central Park on my lunch break. My office is 5 blocks from the park, so it was perfect. I really enjoyed being outside, even though it was a pretty tough run.
There's a pilates class at 7:30 tomorrow night that I can probably make after work/before my improv show if I hussle. So I'm gonna attempt that too. Just looking to shake things up a bit from my regular lifting routine. I could just lift tomorrow night after work, but I feel like I could use a little outside encouragement in the form of a teacher bossing me around.
I'm hungry right now, after eating a relatively light lunch. I might try to find something filling to tide me over until dinnertime. Perhaps banana and PB on an english muffin? We'll see...Hopefully Kev and I will put together dinner from our Trader Joe's bounty when we get back to his place tonight after rehearsal. We have so much good stuff for meals.
I'm sort of excited to eat less for a few days. It's kinda fun sometimes. Is that totally insane? It might be. See me again at 10pm tonight after a glass of wine and a kitchen stocked full of food. Oh yeah, eating less is a fucking laughriot.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Lovely. The boss just left for the day. I’m kicking my feet up, sipping my soda, and setting aside the pile of work in front of me.
I finally bought a new battery for my scale on my lunch break today. Tomorrow morning is weigh-in. I weighed myself at lunch just now and it’s pretty much right where I expected. I seem to have lost another pound, which is nice, and I hope to keep up this slow but steady progress toward feeling really good in all my clothes.
Kevin and I had a lovely, healthy day together yesterday, which is always so thrilling for a huge dork like me. He’s nice not to roll his eyes at me as often as he probably wants to – I get really excited when we’re doing healthy stuff together.
We FINALLY went to Trader Joe’s which has been on my To Do list for weeks, easily. We just haven’t had the opportunity. It closes at ten, I'm never in the neighborhood, who has time to grocery shop, etc. etc. Plus that place is an actual zoo, like, all hours of the day. In fact, I had a dream the other night that we walked in there and it was empty and I could move through the aisles with ease. That’s how packed it is. I’m dreaming about it being not packed.
We got a ton of amazing stuff and took it all back to Kevin's. I was planning to sleep in Brooklyn anyway, so it was just easier to house all the food in his kitchen – not to mention that my kitchen is a danger-zone and nobody ever cooks in it. Anyway, there's now a bounty spilling out of the cabinets in Kevin's kitchen – an organic, inexpensive, healthy bounty. It's really exciting. We made a huge salad for dinner last night AFTER we walked/ran all the way around Prospect Park as the sun was setting. It took us 45 minutes, but it flew by and was much more fun than doing it alone. We weren't going to get in any exercise at all yesterday but we rallied at the last minute, after an unexpected afternoon nap.
We also bought some incredible brownie bite type things that we both loved and ate plenty of throughout the evening. But that’s a different blog entry.
I threw together another salad last night before bed and brought it to work for lunch today. It was so yummy and I’m stuffed now (having also eaten some almonds and some animal crackers and half a bagel).
I have improv practice tonight and then I’m going to see a friend’s show so I doubt I’ll have an opportunity to exercise. It was a good exercise weekend, though, so I feel okay about it. I did something Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I’ll take it.
This upcoming week – my focus is going to be on eating less. It’s nice to have the weight watchers online system to help me keep track because those numbers don’t lie. I just reviewed my food history for the month of April. And I’m simply eating too much each week. I eat an average number of points a day, and it’s too many. That’s the bottom line. No wonder my body is loving his exact weight, despite the increase in exercise. I think my triumphant return to grocery store eating will help that. For money and health reasons, I’m going to do my very best eat the stuff I bought at the store and not eat out as often this week. It’s a shift I’ve been meaning to make for a while and I think I’m ready to give it a serious whirl.
I finally bought a new battery for my scale on my lunch break today. Tomorrow morning is weigh-in. I weighed myself at lunch just now and it’s pretty much right where I expected. I seem to have lost another pound, which is nice, and I hope to keep up this slow but steady progress toward feeling really good in all my clothes.
Kevin and I had a lovely, healthy day together yesterday, which is always so thrilling for a huge dork like me. He’s nice not to roll his eyes at me as often as he probably wants to – I get really excited when we’re doing healthy stuff together.
We FINALLY went to Trader Joe’s which has been on my To Do list for weeks, easily. We just haven’t had the opportunity. It closes at ten, I'm never in the neighborhood, who has time to grocery shop, etc. etc. Plus that place is an actual zoo, like, all hours of the day. In fact, I had a dream the other night that we walked in there and it was empty and I could move through the aisles with ease. That’s how packed it is. I’m dreaming about it being not packed.
We got a ton of amazing stuff and took it all back to Kevin's. I was planning to sleep in Brooklyn anyway, so it was just easier to house all the food in his kitchen – not to mention that my kitchen is a danger-zone and nobody ever cooks in it. Anyway, there's now a bounty spilling out of the cabinets in Kevin's kitchen – an organic, inexpensive, healthy bounty. It's really exciting. We made a huge salad for dinner last night AFTER we walked/ran all the way around Prospect Park as the sun was setting. It took us 45 minutes, but it flew by and was much more fun than doing it alone. We weren't going to get in any exercise at all yesterday but we rallied at the last minute, after an unexpected afternoon nap.
We also bought some incredible brownie bite type things that we both loved and ate plenty of throughout the evening. But that’s a different blog entry.
I threw together another salad last night before bed and brought it to work for lunch today. It was so yummy and I’m stuffed now (having also eaten some almonds and some animal crackers and half a bagel).
I have improv practice tonight and then I’m going to see a friend’s show so I doubt I’ll have an opportunity to exercise. It was a good exercise weekend, though, so I feel okay about it. I did something Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I’ll take it.
This upcoming week – my focus is going to be on eating less. It’s nice to have the weight watchers online system to help me keep track because those numbers don’t lie. I just reviewed my food history for the month of April. And I’m simply eating too much each week. I eat an average number of points a day, and it’s too many. That’s the bottom line. No wonder my body is loving his exact weight, despite the increase in exercise. I think my triumphant return to grocery store eating will help that. For money and health reasons, I’m going to do my very best eat the stuff I bought at the store and not eat out as often this week. It’s a shift I’ve been meaning to make for a while and I think I’m ready to give it a serious whirl.
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