Feelin really great this morning about all this. Feeling slim and healthy and that's so nice.
I had another good workout yesterday, albeit short. I got in some intense cardio (walked, but on a 7.5 incline!) for 20 mins and then did some lifting. I also ate really well yesterday. I came in only 2 points over, which I had to spare from flex (I'm at 22 flex for the week consumed so far. This is good.)and despite being rather hungry as I was falling asleep, there was nothing whatsoever to eat in the house so I just let my tummy growl, had some water, and went to bed.
I'm going to workout again today. And hopefully Friday and Saturday as well. Those are my intentions. If they don't pan out, I won't sweat it, but it's nice to know that I've made the time and set the intention for each day. I'm leaving for the midwest on Sunday morning. I'll be home (well, not home in Chicago, but in Southern Illinois and in Kansas, for Christmas and my cousin's wedding, respectively) for a week. Then I come back next Sunday and will have Monday and Tuesday off before I have to return to work. It will be a nice break - might be busy and hectic at points, but I plan to take advantage of the several days of downtime that WILL be available to me here and there. And the festivities of the wedding will be awesome also. (Big family, big party. Can't wait.)
The way I see it, there are four days in the next couple weeks that will pose challenges. This Saturday night (which is an intimate little gathering just before we go away for the holiday), Christmas Day, my cousins wedding (and let's be honest, that could bleed into more than one day of challenge), and New Years. It's a lot. But I'm not going to stress about it now, I'll just take it one day at a time, deal with each event as it arises, and keep exercising to off set things. One day at a time.
Today, bagel for breakfast (work breakfast - but I'll scoop out the bagel and use lite cream cheese), apple slices for a snack, lean cuisine for lunch, nuts for a snack in the afternoon, and whatever dinner will bring.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
power hour
Well, I'm feeling much better about things today.
First of all, when I got to the gym last night, I peeked at the scale, despite my worry that it would be through the roof. But I'd rather know than not know, I guess. Luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
I had a pretty good day of eating by the time I got to the gym. I was pretty low on points though - cutting back on the amount of food I'm eating in a day has been harder than I thought. And since I'm used to eating 75 extra points in a week, instead of 35, I'm hungry a lot as I try to scale things back. But I arrived at the gym last night determined to have a good workout despite my hunger and exhaustion.
And I ended up doing 60 minutes of cardio! I haven't done 60 minutes of cardio in I-don't-know-how-long, and there was a time when i was doing it all the time. So it felt really good to remember those days and pay homage to them last night. The workout felt excellent and has inspired me to keep pushing myself. I remembered last night that it's better that I log the minutes than the intensity right now. Yes, the intensity counts, and I'm never slacking on that fuckin treadmill, but if I can take it down 2 speeds or lower the incline and stay on it for another 20 minutes, it's all for the better. So that's what I did and I'm glad I did. I did some light lifting at the end too, just because I had the time. I feel good today.
It's rare that I have almost two uninterrupted hours available to me in a day to spend at the gym. Last night was an anomaly. And I hope to find more days like it. I was reminiscing while I was plugging away on the 'mill last night about the days when I went to the gym after work, worked out until I felt like stopping, and went home. At the time it seemed boring, but I'd pay for just one of those nights each week now. Things have gotten very busy in the last year...Easy to gain ten pounds when you go from constant exercise to not-as-constant.
I ended the night with an egg salad sandwich that I grabbed at starbucks, which seemed to be the best choice out of what was available - I was SO hungry and rushing to get to a show - but it ended up being 11 disappointing points. Oh well, lesson learned. Then I saw Kevin's improv show and then I had two gin and sodas at the bar. I don't think I finished the second one either, so that was good. (I decided to order a higher quality gin than I usually get, which made for a much more enjoyable sipping experience. I think I might adopt that method from now on, when possible. I drink less that way and I enjoy the buzz more.)
When Kevin and I got home it was very late and I was very tired and hungry. I had a small glass of OJ, some nuts, and a piece of toast. Much better than going to the deli and getting something awful for me. I ended the day using about 10 FPs, but I'm okay with that. I feel really good about what I did yesterday.
Today, I had a healthy breakfast and a healthy snack. I will go to the gym on my lunch break. I don't really want to and I'm really super fucking awfully tired from being up so late, but I think I can manage to do 20 mins of cardio and some light lifting, just to keep the psychological momentum going.
I will eat in at lunch - something frozen for 6 or 7 points - and then I'll grab something healthy for dinner, perhaps sushi? perhaps a chipotle salad? in between rehearsal and the show tonight.
I'm excited for this to be another OP day.
First of all, when I got to the gym last night, I peeked at the scale, despite my worry that it would be through the roof. But I'd rather know than not know, I guess. Luckily it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
I had a pretty good day of eating by the time I got to the gym. I was pretty low on points though - cutting back on the amount of food I'm eating in a day has been harder than I thought. And since I'm used to eating 75 extra points in a week, instead of 35, I'm hungry a lot as I try to scale things back. But I arrived at the gym last night determined to have a good workout despite my hunger and exhaustion.
And I ended up doing 60 minutes of cardio! I haven't done 60 minutes of cardio in I-don't-know-how-long, and there was a time when i was doing it all the time. So it felt really good to remember those days and pay homage to them last night. The workout felt excellent and has inspired me to keep pushing myself. I remembered last night that it's better that I log the minutes than the intensity right now. Yes, the intensity counts, and I'm never slacking on that fuckin treadmill, but if I can take it down 2 speeds or lower the incline and stay on it for another 20 minutes, it's all for the better. So that's what I did and I'm glad I did. I did some light lifting at the end too, just because I had the time. I feel good today.
It's rare that I have almost two uninterrupted hours available to me in a day to spend at the gym. Last night was an anomaly. And I hope to find more days like it. I was reminiscing while I was plugging away on the 'mill last night about the days when I went to the gym after work, worked out until I felt like stopping, and went home. At the time it seemed boring, but I'd pay for just one of those nights each week now. Things have gotten very busy in the last year...Easy to gain ten pounds when you go from constant exercise to not-as-constant.
I ended the night with an egg salad sandwich that I grabbed at starbucks, which seemed to be the best choice out of what was available - I was SO hungry and rushing to get to a show - but it ended up being 11 disappointing points. Oh well, lesson learned. Then I saw Kevin's improv show and then I had two gin and sodas at the bar. I don't think I finished the second one either, so that was good. (I decided to order a higher quality gin than I usually get, which made for a much more enjoyable sipping experience. I think I might adopt that method from now on, when possible. I drink less that way and I enjoy the buzz more.)
When Kevin and I got home it was very late and I was very tired and hungry. I had a small glass of OJ, some nuts, and a piece of toast. Much better than going to the deli and getting something awful for me. I ended the day using about 10 FPs, but I'm okay with that. I feel really good about what I did yesterday.
Today, I had a healthy breakfast and a healthy snack. I will go to the gym on my lunch break. I don't really want to and I'm really super fucking awfully tired from being up so late, but I think I can manage to do 20 mins of cardio and some light lifting, just to keep the psychological momentum going.
I will eat in at lunch - something frozen for 6 or 7 points - and then I'll grab something healthy for dinner, perhaps sushi? perhaps a chipotle salad? in between rehearsal and the show tonight.
I'm excited for this to be another OP day.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
SO.
Whew. I've been avoiding posting.
Because last week ended up ril ugly, y'all. Ril ugly. It's nice to be back in the blog-it-out community though because I feel a lot better about committing the sins I committed and much more capable of returning to a place of piety, knowing that I have the support of my gals.
Things were moving along reasonably when Friday rolled around. I was more than 35 flex in the hole for the week, but it wasn't close to the 70ish flex I'd been using in the past few weeks.
I went to the gym during my lunch break and prepared myself for a night out. I lifted at the gym and tried to make good food choices during the day. Then I met Dan and Kev for drinks. I was pretty hungry, but I had an apple before drinks to help tide me over. Then we had nuts with the drinks. Then Kev and I went to see a show and only had time to grab a slice before hand. Not ideal, but it was all that was available. Then I had some gelato later on for no good reason and spent the rest of the night resisting the urge to have a second dinner. No joke. I ended the day 11 points over, to make a grand total of 59 flex used for the week so far! And there were still two whole days left before weigh-in day! I was feeling pretty defeated about getting up close to 70 flex used again, but I was determined to make it through the week without getting to 70 flex points. Foolish.
Because then Saturday happened. Ugh. I started out with good intentions - had a relatively healthy breakfast with Kevin at a diner before we both had to go run around fulfilling committments all day long. After I left him and started my full day of activities, I got pretty peckish but decided to get a lower-cal spinach wrap at starbucks. It wasn't enough though. When I finished it, I just kept eating. There were candies where I was rehearsing and I had a handful of those, I finished Faryn's chinese food, only a few bites, but still. I also drank the latte I'd gotten at starbucks and had a small cookie (ugh) and I just started to feel like I was losing control. I didn't want to keep eating, so I vowed to make good choices for the rest of the night, even though I still had so much day ahead of me. (More rehearsal, a show to perform, and then a christmas party to attend.) I did pretty well until we ended up at this christmas party around 11pm - and then I just fucked around. I drank and smoked and ate and ate and ate. I was probably a lot less than I thought it was but it FELT like a lot. And it felt like I was just mindlessly, anxiously eating. I had bites of EVERYTHING. Many bites. Blech.
I have to walk into those events with SOME kind of plan or all hell breaks loose. It's really ugly.
I didn't even write down what I ate on Sunday. I was feeling so incredibly disappointed in myself for Saturday night. Sunday basically went to shit too. Normal breakfast, then some nachos for lunch (?!?!) which I shared and didn't eat too many of, but still. THat would have been fine if we hadn't gone to another gathering after that where I had a zillion cookies and a fuckin brownie. Then we had to go see a friend's stand-up act because he was auditioning for a tv show and needed a supportive crowd and Kevin ordered fries and I had some of those too.
All in all, when I write it all out, it seems a lot less horrific than I've been letting myself believe, but it was still very mindless, very anxious eating. And it was mostly bourne out of scenarios that I didn't plan ahead for or scenarios where I let a craving or a desire to munch get the very best of me and I just gave in and let go. And I didn't exercise to combat it either. Also, the two times I overate the most were at the two parties. Sometimes I get anxious about making small talk. And you can't small talk if your mouth is full, so I anxiously eat. Interesting to learn about oneself.
There were definitely some small victories in there somewhere, so I'll remind myself that it could have been a LOT worse. At no point did i just "give up." So there's that. (And there was a two-drink minimum at the stand-up club and I only had coffee and diet soda instead of alcohol.)
I got back to it yesterday, though, and put my nose to the grindstone. I decided I need to really work on avoiding a ton of sugar, especially early on in the day, because it just causes me to eat more and more sugar all day long. I did well yesterday for the most part. No exercise, but smart food choices. I also went to the grocery store so I can eat breakfast and lunch in again this week. Glad I did that. Feels much simpler to stay on track that way, plus cheaper which is important right now. I'll go to the gym tonight and hopefully be able to spend a good hour plus there.
I started my period this morning/late last night and I'm so glad I did. I was having the worst PMS yesterday - I was clumsy and moody and irritable and I felt like shit. I still feel pretty crappy and exhausted today, but now I know there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hoping things will only get better from here.
I definitely don't want to go to the gym tonight, I want to go home and sleep. But I'll go and it will feel good and that will be that.
It's the holidays. And I am going to promise myself that I will workout as often as I can, and eat as well as I can. But I can't promise miracles. I can't promise I will get to exercise every day or eat like a saint for the next week. It's just too difficult this time of year to do it all. I know, though, that being this mindful is really going to help me. It will be good to be home in the midwest because my family eats very mindfully and I always eat well when I'm there. Plus there's plenty of opportunity for exercise, since we're a family of health nuts and people will be going on jogs and getting to the gym, etc. Things will be a little crazy, though, too, because besides the actual holiday, my little cousin is getting married on December 29, then Kev and I have our one year anniversary on January 1, plus New Year's Eve. So there's plenty to challenge me. But my focus is to be MINDFUL. To exercise when I can and make really good choices when I can and be strong and remember that I will feel so much better if 2008 rolls around and I don't have to start all over.
I need a nap.
p.s. I have no idea what the scale says. I refused to step on it yesterday.
Because last week ended up ril ugly, y'all. Ril ugly. It's nice to be back in the blog-it-out community though because I feel a lot better about committing the sins I committed and much more capable of returning to a place of piety, knowing that I have the support of my gals.
Things were moving along reasonably when Friday rolled around. I was more than 35 flex in the hole for the week, but it wasn't close to the 70ish flex I'd been using in the past few weeks.
I went to the gym during my lunch break and prepared myself for a night out. I lifted at the gym and tried to make good food choices during the day. Then I met Dan and Kev for drinks. I was pretty hungry, but I had an apple before drinks to help tide me over. Then we had nuts with the drinks. Then Kev and I went to see a show and only had time to grab a slice before hand. Not ideal, but it was all that was available. Then I had some gelato later on for no good reason and spent the rest of the night resisting the urge to have a second dinner. No joke. I ended the day 11 points over, to make a grand total of 59 flex used for the week so far! And there were still two whole days left before weigh-in day! I was feeling pretty defeated about getting up close to 70 flex used again, but I was determined to make it through the week without getting to 70 flex points. Foolish.
Because then Saturday happened. Ugh. I started out with good intentions - had a relatively healthy breakfast with Kevin at a diner before we both had to go run around fulfilling committments all day long. After I left him and started my full day of activities, I got pretty peckish but decided to get a lower-cal spinach wrap at starbucks. It wasn't enough though. When I finished it, I just kept eating. There were candies where I was rehearsing and I had a handful of those, I finished Faryn's chinese food, only a few bites, but still. I also drank the latte I'd gotten at starbucks and had a small cookie (ugh) and I just started to feel like I was losing control. I didn't want to keep eating, so I vowed to make good choices for the rest of the night, even though I still had so much day ahead of me. (More rehearsal, a show to perform, and then a christmas party to attend.) I did pretty well until we ended up at this christmas party around 11pm - and then I just fucked around. I drank and smoked and ate and ate and ate. I was probably a lot less than I thought it was but it FELT like a lot. And it felt like I was just mindlessly, anxiously eating. I had bites of EVERYTHING. Many bites. Blech.
I have to walk into those events with SOME kind of plan or all hell breaks loose. It's really ugly.
I didn't even write down what I ate on Sunday. I was feeling so incredibly disappointed in myself for Saturday night. Sunday basically went to shit too. Normal breakfast, then some nachos for lunch (?!?!) which I shared and didn't eat too many of, but still. THat would have been fine if we hadn't gone to another gathering after that where I had a zillion cookies and a fuckin brownie. Then we had to go see a friend's stand-up act because he was auditioning for a tv show and needed a supportive crowd and Kevin ordered fries and I had some of those too.
All in all, when I write it all out, it seems a lot less horrific than I've been letting myself believe, but it was still very mindless, very anxious eating. And it was mostly bourne out of scenarios that I didn't plan ahead for or scenarios where I let a craving or a desire to munch get the very best of me and I just gave in and let go. And I didn't exercise to combat it either. Also, the two times I overate the most were at the two parties. Sometimes I get anxious about making small talk. And you can't small talk if your mouth is full, so I anxiously eat. Interesting to learn about oneself.
There were definitely some small victories in there somewhere, so I'll remind myself that it could have been a LOT worse. At no point did i just "give up." So there's that. (And there was a two-drink minimum at the stand-up club and I only had coffee and diet soda instead of alcohol.)
I got back to it yesterday, though, and put my nose to the grindstone. I decided I need to really work on avoiding a ton of sugar, especially early on in the day, because it just causes me to eat more and more sugar all day long. I did well yesterday for the most part. No exercise, but smart food choices. I also went to the grocery store so I can eat breakfast and lunch in again this week. Glad I did that. Feels much simpler to stay on track that way, plus cheaper which is important right now. I'll go to the gym tonight and hopefully be able to spend a good hour plus there.
I started my period this morning/late last night and I'm so glad I did. I was having the worst PMS yesterday - I was clumsy and moody and irritable and I felt like shit. I still feel pretty crappy and exhausted today, but now I know there's light at the end of the tunnel. I'm hoping things will only get better from here.
I definitely don't want to go to the gym tonight, I want to go home and sleep. But I'll go and it will feel good and that will be that.
It's the holidays. And I am going to promise myself that I will workout as often as I can, and eat as well as I can. But I can't promise miracles. I can't promise I will get to exercise every day or eat like a saint for the next week. It's just too difficult this time of year to do it all. I know, though, that being this mindful is really going to help me. It will be good to be home in the midwest because my family eats very mindfully and I always eat well when I'm there. Plus there's plenty of opportunity for exercise, since we're a family of health nuts and people will be going on jogs and getting to the gym, etc. Things will be a little crazy, though, too, because besides the actual holiday, my little cousin is getting married on December 29, then Kev and I have our one year anniversary on January 1, plus New Year's Eve. So there's plenty to challenge me. But my focus is to be MINDFUL. To exercise when I can and make really good choices when I can and be strong and remember that I will feel so much better if 2008 rolls around and I don't have to start all over.
I need a nap.
p.s. I have no idea what the scale says. I refused to step on it yesterday.
Friday, December 14, 2007
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghhhh
I'm having a hard time with shit today. I'm grumpy, I exercised and now I feel worse rather than better, I can't eat enough to feel satisfied and I'm having a very hard time staying within points each day. Grrrrr.
I guess this is just part of it. Sometimes you have to kick and scream.
I didn't workout last night. I didn't have it in me. I went at lunch today but only did a little bit of pilates and then I lifted. I didn't have time for the cardio. I will get some good cardio in this weekend, fo sho'. And hopefully one more light lifting session also.
For some reason, I jumped on the scale at the gym and it was bigtime up. But I think several things: 1.) who gives a fuck. fuck that noise. 2.) it was midday and i'd already eaten plus i had sushi last night 3.) i'm convinced that scale at that particular gym is always high. fuck that noise too. So perhaps that's contributing to my mood.
I will not come in at or under 35 flex this week. More like 50 flex. That's not awful. That's a far cry from the 70, 73, 78 (?!) I've done in the last few weeks. So I will take that as a good sign and keep plugging away. But I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to do it my first week back. I did have a holiday party, but it wasn't that gluttonous whatsoever. Perhaps this is weight gain from LAST week's holiday party (at the theater), where I did infact overeat to the hilt.
There's also been a ton of holiday sweet stuff floating around the office and the season itself makes it very tempting to cozy up with a glass or 4 of wine and eat crap with my honey. But I'm fighting it HARD. We went out last night but got sushi and only shared one bottle of saki (still went over points, but UGH I"M TRYING!). Yesterday and today have seen the likes of a large box of amazing, rich, huge cookies at work. I've had probably about 1.5 or 2 cookies in the last two days, which is showing incredible restraint. They sit right by my head all day long and I want many many of them. But I had half of one yesterday, saved the other half for today, and took another few break-off pieces at a couple other points. Not awful. Doing my best. Plus! Oh! Today I was going to order a big sloppy eggwhites sandwich on a bagel! with cheese! and then I just closed the website (online ordering available) and just didn't order it! I didn't want to spend the money or waste the calories, even though I'd already picked the whole thing out. I've been eating in this week for breakfast and lunch, which means I have to have made some progress in caloric control because I'm certain that my 5 point frozen burrito is better for me than whatever sandwich I order and call 8 points when it's probably really 16. I mean, having the real nutrition info is half the battle.
I guess I"m just frustrated that I haven't been able to navigate this perfectly. But that's silly. I'll get there. And I have to remind myself that it's really not about that stupid number. Fuck that gym scale. And I'm not even really in this for the number. I'm in it to get into smaller jeans!
I'm going to bump up my weight lifting next week and start doing some heavier weights. I'm pretty consistent with weight training, but what that means is that my body is very used to the routine I've been doing and the weights I've been using etc. Sometimes I try to make little changes here and there, but I don't think it's enough. I've lifted pretty consistently for several years now, but over the summer I was taking weeks and weeks off at a time, so when I started back up, I sort of went back to basics and did some simple routines. But I haven't really varied them up since then, even though I've been back lifting for about three months. So next week I'll change it up. I'll lift signficantly heavier weights than I'm using right now and do less reps. And the following week, I'll lift signifcantly lighter weights than I'm using right now and do many reps. Just to mix it up. I also want to explore some new exercises, new machines, etc, but I think I'll try this first idea first and see what happens.
And the last thing I've been thinking is that I can always eat more fruits and vegs, more lean protein and LESS SUGAR (most of all less sugar). Since Dr. Oz's You On A Diet info came out re: sugar, I've seriously cut back. I make choices based on sugar in take all the time and whenever I can avoid it, I refuse to have any sugar before the afternoon. I don't drink sugar in my coffee so that's not tough, but I won't do cereals with sugar (did you know that Kashi Go Lean Crunch has 14 grams of sugar per serving!??! - you're only supposed to have 3 or 4 grams for breakfast!), or anything else that I think is harboring hidden sugars. But I can always do more. i.e. Not eating the cookies and sweets that are hanging out around the office. Also, perhaps I can start drinking a protein drink (a low cal, low sugar one) on the days I lift. I think I could use it.
So I guess that's it. I still don't weigh-in until Monday, and I know there's no real reason to be a crab apple about shit. (Perhaps it's PMS related...) This post was sort all over the place, but it did help me remember that I've made some excellent progress this week. And that there's plenty I can do to feel like I'm making even more progress.
Blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaah grr.
Big weekend ahead, btw. A lot going on. I"m hoping it will make it easier to eat well than harder. I'll grab a drink tonight with Dan after work and a light din with Kevin before we go see a show. Tomorrow is super fuckin busy. And Sunday is busy too. I'll get in another workout and avoid the sugar!
I guess this is just part of it. Sometimes you have to kick and scream.
I didn't workout last night. I didn't have it in me. I went at lunch today but only did a little bit of pilates and then I lifted. I didn't have time for the cardio. I will get some good cardio in this weekend, fo sho'. And hopefully one more light lifting session also.
For some reason, I jumped on the scale at the gym and it was bigtime up. But I think several things: 1.) who gives a fuck. fuck that noise. 2.) it was midday and i'd already eaten plus i had sushi last night 3.) i'm convinced that scale at that particular gym is always high. fuck that noise too. So perhaps that's contributing to my mood.
I will not come in at or under 35 flex this week. More like 50 flex. That's not awful. That's a far cry from the 70, 73, 78 (?!) I've done in the last few weeks. So I will take that as a good sign and keep plugging away. But I'm disappointed that I wasn't able to do it my first week back. I did have a holiday party, but it wasn't that gluttonous whatsoever. Perhaps this is weight gain from LAST week's holiday party (at the theater), where I did infact overeat to the hilt.
There's also been a ton of holiday sweet stuff floating around the office and the season itself makes it very tempting to cozy up with a glass or 4 of wine and eat crap with my honey. But I'm fighting it HARD. We went out last night but got sushi and only shared one bottle of saki (still went over points, but UGH I"M TRYING!). Yesterday and today have seen the likes of a large box of amazing, rich, huge cookies at work. I've had probably about 1.5 or 2 cookies in the last two days, which is showing incredible restraint. They sit right by my head all day long and I want many many of them. But I had half of one yesterday, saved the other half for today, and took another few break-off pieces at a couple other points. Not awful. Doing my best. Plus! Oh! Today I was going to order a big sloppy eggwhites sandwich on a bagel! with cheese! and then I just closed the website (online ordering available) and just didn't order it! I didn't want to spend the money or waste the calories, even though I'd already picked the whole thing out. I've been eating in this week for breakfast and lunch, which means I have to have made some progress in caloric control because I'm certain that my 5 point frozen burrito is better for me than whatever sandwich I order and call 8 points when it's probably really 16. I mean, having the real nutrition info is half the battle.
I guess I"m just frustrated that I haven't been able to navigate this perfectly. But that's silly. I'll get there. And I have to remind myself that it's really not about that stupid number. Fuck that gym scale. And I'm not even really in this for the number. I'm in it to get into smaller jeans!
I'm going to bump up my weight lifting next week and start doing some heavier weights. I'm pretty consistent with weight training, but what that means is that my body is very used to the routine I've been doing and the weights I've been using etc. Sometimes I try to make little changes here and there, but I don't think it's enough. I've lifted pretty consistently for several years now, but over the summer I was taking weeks and weeks off at a time, so when I started back up, I sort of went back to basics and did some simple routines. But I haven't really varied them up since then, even though I've been back lifting for about three months. So next week I'll change it up. I'll lift signficantly heavier weights than I'm using right now and do less reps. And the following week, I'll lift signifcantly lighter weights than I'm using right now and do many reps. Just to mix it up. I also want to explore some new exercises, new machines, etc, but I think I'll try this first idea first and see what happens.
And the last thing I've been thinking is that I can always eat more fruits and vegs, more lean protein and LESS SUGAR (most of all less sugar). Since Dr. Oz's You On A Diet info came out re: sugar, I've seriously cut back. I make choices based on sugar in take all the time and whenever I can avoid it, I refuse to have any sugar before the afternoon. I don't drink sugar in my coffee so that's not tough, but I won't do cereals with sugar (did you know that Kashi Go Lean Crunch has 14 grams of sugar per serving!??! - you're only supposed to have 3 or 4 grams for breakfast!), or anything else that I think is harboring hidden sugars. But I can always do more. i.e. Not eating the cookies and sweets that are hanging out around the office. Also, perhaps I can start drinking a protein drink (a low cal, low sugar one) on the days I lift. I think I could use it.
So I guess that's it. I still don't weigh-in until Monday, and I know there's no real reason to be a crab apple about shit. (Perhaps it's PMS related...) This post was sort all over the place, but it did help me remember that I've made some excellent progress this week. And that there's plenty I can do to feel like I'm making even more progress.
Blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaah grr.
Big weekend ahead, btw. A lot going on. I"m hoping it will make it easier to eat well than harder. I'll grab a drink tonight with Dan after work and a light din with Kevin before we go see a show. Tomorrow is super fuckin busy. And Sunday is busy too. I'll get in another workout and avoid the sugar!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
blah blah
I could sleep for days. Quick posting - worked out again yesterday, did some cardio on my lunch break, felt good. Ate mostly well all day, but got SUPER hungry around midnight and ordered a salad. At least it was a salad. I had a few of Kevin's fries too, and saved the rest of the salad for lunch today, but it did put me over points. No big deal. Still making good progress this week as opposed to prior weeks. My flex points this week will not be anywhere near 70, so that's good to know.
I'm sleepy today. I would like to take a night off exercise, but I don't know if I'll get to go tomorrow or Saturday either, so I might just have to suck it up and go tonight. It depends on a series of factors. It's incredibly snowy here today, but sometimes I like being in the gym getting all sweaty and gross when it's yucky outside. Cuz all I'm gonna do is go home and veg out anyway.
I need to earn some points back too, so maybe that's another good reason to go workout. I was doing well today, but then a HUGE thing of cookies came out. I only had half of one, but I wanted more. And someone put some incredible onion rings in the kitchen and I had one of those as well. DELICIOUS OMG. I also might have had a bit too much feta cheese with that salad last night and today. But I'm still keeping things in check.
Kevin might take me out to dinner tonight, but I'll ask for Sushi, I think, and avoid the fried stuff.
The holidays at the work place really get me. It's tough to navigate an office full of incredible, expensive-and-therefore-amazing sweets.
I'm gonna get plenty of rest tonight, if it kills me. I need the sleep badly and I have a very busy weekend ahead, so it's important that I go into it well rested. Otherwise I will eat what I want and not exercise. And neither of those things are happening. Not this time.
I'm sleepy today. I would like to take a night off exercise, but I don't know if I'll get to go tomorrow or Saturday either, so I might just have to suck it up and go tonight. It depends on a series of factors. It's incredibly snowy here today, but sometimes I like being in the gym getting all sweaty and gross when it's yucky outside. Cuz all I'm gonna do is go home and veg out anyway.
I need to earn some points back too, so maybe that's another good reason to go workout. I was doing well today, but then a HUGE thing of cookies came out. I only had half of one, but I wanted more. And someone put some incredible onion rings in the kitchen and I had one of those as well. DELICIOUS OMG. I also might have had a bit too much feta cheese with that salad last night and today. But I'm still keeping things in check.
Kevin might take me out to dinner tonight, but I'll ask for Sushi, I think, and avoid the fried stuff.
The holidays at the work place really get me. It's tough to navigate an office full of incredible, expensive-and-therefore-amazing sweets.
I'm gonna get plenty of rest tonight, if it kills me. I need the sleep badly and I have a very busy weekend ahead, so it's important that I go into it well rested. Otherwise I will eat what I want and not exercise. And neither of those things are happening. Not this time.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Just wanted to remind you...
...that I'm blogging about food and exercise on this particular URL right now. If you want to read my normal-human-who-isn't-obsessing-about-calories blog, the link is on the right. It says "My Regular Blog".
Go there. It's better there. I promise.
Don't burn your eyes reading about the dieting stuff unless you want to. And I wouldn't recommend it.
Go there. It's better there. I promise.
Don't burn your eyes reading about the dieting stuff unless you want to. And I wouldn't recommend it.
all things considered
All things considered, that went pretty well last night. I definitely didn't stick to the exact plan I had in mind, but having made the plan to begin with really helped me mentally during the party. And luckily, I was able to make some good choices (and not feel like a fatty) while still having a nice time.
I didn't even realize that this being a fancy Park Avenue apartment party, there wouldn't even BE tons of unhealthy food laying all over the place! Duh! These are rich people. They have salmon on wafers at these sorts of parties. They have waiters who pass the hors d’oeuvres, so you can't really take more than one at a time without feeling like a jerk, and you're at the mercy of the kitchen who decides how often and how much food is coming out. Thank god.
They still had some tasty stuff...chicken and mango salsa on toast, mini grilled cheeses, mini hamburgers (omg), mini pizzas, something with salmon....this all had fancier names that I can't remember, btw. And they had some bowls of nuts lying around that I definitely helped myself to. I had a few of each of the hors d'oeuvres and a few glasses of wine (they keep pouring for you and I'm sure that glass was refilled at least once that I didn't authorize, but oh well).
The best part was that when the DESSERT TRAYS (ugh) were being passed, I only had one small fruit tart thing and left the rest...there were eclairs and chocolate thingies and I just declined. I'd had more than enough sugar. That was a major victory.
So I left the party feeling as though I'd been really successful, but then I met Daniel and Randy downtown and I ordered a small personal pizza with sausage on it. I was starving. Ha. So I ate that. Yup, the whole thing. But I don't regret it. I think I didn't a pretty fantastic job of navigating the party, I had plenty of veggies and healthy things at the party, and the pizza, although a tipsy indulgence, was very thin crusted and took the edge off the booze.
I woke up desperate for water so I've been chuggin it and I had a very healthy breakfast when I got to work. I will REALLY avoid the sugar today. There are more fucking cookies out (people send so much shit to us this time of year) and they don't even look good to me. Blech. There are lovely clementines in the kitchen so if I'm desperate for sugar, I'll have one of those and a small dark chocolate square.
Lunch will be a frozen meal, either a panini (6 points) or a burrito (5 points), and then I'll have an afternoon snack, perhaps some popcorn and a piece of fruit. Dinner will be whatever I can grab because I have a rehearsal and a show back to back tonight and won't be done with everything until around 11. Hopefully I can find something cheap and simple and healthy - maybe soup, maybe a salad? We'll see.
I'm going to exercise again on my lunch break today; hopefully I can get 30 mins of cardio in. I think I pretty much cleared out my flex points for the week last night, and one of my goals this week is to stay within 35 flex points, so the rest of the week is gonna have to involved very judicious food choices and plenty of exercise to earn those APs. It's hard to go from eating around 30 points a day to eating around 23 points a day, but that's what I have to do. These first weeks back are always the hardest. And frankly, I probably underestimated some of my food intake, pointswise, last night, so I think it's better to just call it a week in terms of the flex bank and move on. Yup, I'm dieting. Yup. I am. That's just the way it goes.
The only other challenges this week will be drinks with Daniel on Friday night and a Christmas party late Saturday night. Daniel will only have about 35 minutes to hang out on Friday night so I can probably just get away with having one low-cal drink with him. No problem there. And the party on Saturday night will be easy to navigate if I stick to sparkling water and we don't stay too long. Yup, I'm dieting. Sorry, world. This is how it has to be for now. I ALWAYS enjoy myself with food and drink. I'm taking a break for a little while.
I'm feelin really really good about being back on track this way, even if I did eat 25 points extra last night. I'm loving blogging about it right now and I'm loving being accountable. I woke up this morning feeling and looking good. Awesome.
I'm hoping to pick up a scale some time this week so it's easier for me to check in.
All good things...
I didn't even realize that this being a fancy Park Avenue apartment party, there wouldn't even BE tons of unhealthy food laying all over the place! Duh! These are rich people. They have salmon on wafers at these sorts of parties. They have waiters who pass the hors d’oeuvres, so you can't really take more than one at a time without feeling like a jerk, and you're at the mercy of the kitchen who decides how often and how much food is coming out. Thank god.
They still had some tasty stuff...chicken and mango salsa on toast, mini grilled cheeses, mini hamburgers (omg), mini pizzas, something with salmon....this all had fancier names that I can't remember, btw. And they had some bowls of nuts lying around that I definitely helped myself to. I had a few of each of the hors d'oeuvres and a few glasses of wine (they keep pouring for you and I'm sure that glass was refilled at least once that I didn't authorize, but oh well).
The best part was that when the DESSERT TRAYS (ugh) were being passed, I only had one small fruit tart thing and left the rest...there were eclairs and chocolate thingies and I just declined. I'd had more than enough sugar. That was a major victory.
So I left the party feeling as though I'd been really successful, but then I met Daniel and Randy downtown and I ordered a small personal pizza with sausage on it. I was starving. Ha. So I ate that. Yup, the whole thing. But I don't regret it. I think I didn't a pretty fantastic job of navigating the party, I had plenty of veggies and healthy things at the party, and the pizza, although a tipsy indulgence, was very thin crusted and took the edge off the booze.
I woke up desperate for water so I've been chuggin it and I had a very healthy breakfast when I got to work. I will REALLY avoid the sugar today. There are more fucking cookies out (people send so much shit to us this time of year) and they don't even look good to me. Blech. There are lovely clementines in the kitchen so if I'm desperate for sugar, I'll have one of those and a small dark chocolate square.
Lunch will be a frozen meal, either a panini (6 points) or a burrito (5 points), and then I'll have an afternoon snack, perhaps some popcorn and a piece of fruit. Dinner will be whatever I can grab because I have a rehearsal and a show back to back tonight and won't be done with everything until around 11. Hopefully I can find something cheap and simple and healthy - maybe soup, maybe a salad? We'll see.
I'm going to exercise again on my lunch break today; hopefully I can get 30 mins of cardio in. I think I pretty much cleared out my flex points for the week last night, and one of my goals this week is to stay within 35 flex points, so the rest of the week is gonna have to involved very judicious food choices and plenty of exercise to earn those APs. It's hard to go from eating around 30 points a day to eating around 23 points a day, but that's what I have to do. These first weeks back are always the hardest. And frankly, I probably underestimated some of my food intake, pointswise, last night, so I think it's better to just call it a week in terms of the flex bank and move on. Yup, I'm dieting. Yup. I am. That's just the way it goes.
The only other challenges this week will be drinks with Daniel on Friday night and a Christmas party late Saturday night. Daniel will only have about 35 minutes to hang out on Friday night so I can probably just get away with having one low-cal drink with him. No problem there. And the party on Saturday night will be easy to navigate if I stick to sparkling water and we don't stay too long. Yup, I'm dieting. Sorry, world. This is how it has to be for now. I ALWAYS enjoy myself with food and drink. I'm taking a break for a little while.
I'm feelin really really good about being back on track this way, even if I did eat 25 points extra last night. I'm loving blogging about it right now and I'm loving being accountable. I woke up this morning feeling and looking good. Awesome.
I'm hoping to pick up a scale some time this week so it's easier for me to check in.
All good things...
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The Calm Before The...More Calm
Tonight's party will not be a storm of food and drinks for me. It simply will not. I know I can do this - go and enjoy myself and be calm and relaxed and enjoy the music and the people and some nice sips on some expensive fancy alcohol and not leave feeling like a pudg-o-meter.
I've done pretty well today. Got in my lunchtime workout, which felt great. Was able to squeeze in 20 mins of cardio AND all the lifting I wanted to do. No abs or serious stretching to speak of, but I'll take what I can get.
I have eaten well today also, except for three small cookies I had earlier and several chocolate covered cherries. That's about 7 points in sweets! Yikes. That's plenty of sugar. Perhaps I will not have any sweets at the party. I just had a snack of popcorn and a clementine, so I'm feeling pretty good.
I just wanted to check in for myself and my accountability. I'm eager to see a loss when I weigh-in on Monday, so navigating this party like a reasonable human being is an important part of that.
(Also! I have a new motivation for losing these 20 pounds...I'm getting new headshots in January! Those are expensive and I want them to look GOOD.)
I've done pretty well today. Got in my lunchtime workout, which felt great. Was able to squeeze in 20 mins of cardio AND all the lifting I wanted to do. No abs or serious stretching to speak of, but I'll take what I can get.
I have eaten well today also, except for three small cookies I had earlier and several chocolate covered cherries. That's about 7 points in sweets! Yikes. That's plenty of sugar. Perhaps I will not have any sweets at the party. I just had a snack of popcorn and a clementine, so I'm feeling pretty good.
I just wanted to check in for myself and my accountability. I'm eager to see a loss when I weigh-in on Monday, so navigating this party like a reasonable human being is an important part of that.
(Also! I have a new motivation for losing these 20 pounds...I'm getting new headshots in January! Those are expensive and I want them to look GOOD.)
okay, okay...
...So, good day yesterday, for the most part. I feel pretty good about having a renewed committment to this stuff. Like I said yesterday, it's not like there's a TON that needs to change, they're just tweaks and adjustments to my lifestyle. I feel a renewed sense of resolve about making that happen.
I did not workout yesterday. I really wanted to and I would have felt really great today if I'd gotten to, but it just didn't happen. I wasn't able to go on my lunch break (which always ends up being not much of a workout anyway because I only have about 25 to 30 mins to do anything once I get to the gym) because it was very busy yesterday at work, and I had an improv practice right after work, which ran late. I was partially planning to go after that practice, but I didn't get home until 11, so, no waaay.
I also didn't get to step on a scale yesterday, so I don't exactly know where we're starting from here, numberwise. I think we'll just call it 168 and be done with it. Could be higher, could be lower, who knows. It's right around 168.
But I did do pretty well foodwise. I had an eggwhite omelet for breakfast, soup and half a bagel with PB for lunch, a couple pieces of amazing chocolate that someone sent to my office, some popcorn in the afternoon, a souvlaki sandwich for dinner, and then, the one thing I really didn't need: a nice big chunk of a cinnabon. (I bought one for Daniel because he loves them. In retrospect, I knew I was going to have a bite of it. But I really did buy it for him!)
So that cinnabon put me over my points for the day by about 4, but that's okay. All part of the learning curve.
Today will be a bit challenging, but I'm up for it. Our office holiday party is tonight; my boss it throwing it at his very fancy Park Avenue apartment. So I'm CERTAIN there will be amazing snacks and high quality alcohol. I guess I should make a plan before I go.
I have already had a very sensible breakfast - whole wheat english muffin with PB and a banana, and yesterday I bought several healthy frozen meals (did you know Kashi now makes frozen entrees? whaaat?!) from a gourmet grocery store nearby, so I plan to "eat-in" all week long for breakfast and lunch. It will be easy to keep the points to a minimum today if I eat one of those frozen lunches, so I shall. I also plan to go to the gym on my lunch break. It will have to be a very quick workout, perhaps some cardio and some weight training, which will be a better calorie-burn than just the cardio alone. It will have to be very quick though.
Then, tonight, I will make sensible choices at the party. I will not eat dinner tonight and simply use those calories on the bitesize stuff at the party. I will also save room for three drinks, max. Probably gin and soda, since that will be low in calories. Maybe I'll have a glass of red wine if the mood strikes me. But no need to go crazy, it's still an office party for the most part. I will try to have a couple glasses of water too. I can practice enjoying the high quality of the food and alcohol rather than the quantity. (Even if it is free. Ugh, delicious, abundant, free food and drink. Yup, I've got my work cut out for me.)
My other tactic will be to have a piece of fruit or some popcorn just before we go so I'm not ravenous (and someone just put a big bowl of clementines in the office kitchen, sweet), and then when we get there, I'll have one taste of food, just to get it out of my system, and then I'll wait a little while before I have more. If I get into a frenzied eating pattern early on, it's a dead zone. I could easily graze my way through this whole night and end up 20 points in the hole. That will not happen tonight, so I just have to decide not to do it. I can gravitate toward the healthier options too, as opposed to fried or buttery stuff. There's no reason to stuff myself. Tomorrow, I want to feel really good about how I navigated the party.
So:
snack before we leave
3 glasses of alcohol throughout evening
intersperse with water
choose healthier foods
be judicious about how much I eat by tasting early on and then waiting a while
(If you're not into this weight loss thing and you're reading this right now, you're probably shocked, dismayed, and baffled at the extent to which I'm discussing these details. Yup. This is how it has to be. Trust me. It doesn't always have to be this way, but if you're trying to lose weight and regain control of your eating habits, it has to be this way for a little while. If you were once a fat girl, the likelihood of you attending a party with delicious food and drink and overeating to the hilt is pretty high. If you want to avoid it, you gotta do the pep talk. Weird but true, weird but true.)
Okay that's that. Feelin pretty good about this plan. Feelin' pretty good about getting back on track. Perhaps a WW meeting IS in my future, just to help solidify things further...hmmmm...we'll see.
I did not workout yesterday. I really wanted to and I would have felt really great today if I'd gotten to, but it just didn't happen. I wasn't able to go on my lunch break (which always ends up being not much of a workout anyway because I only have about 25 to 30 mins to do anything once I get to the gym) because it was very busy yesterday at work, and I had an improv practice right after work, which ran late. I was partially planning to go after that practice, but I didn't get home until 11, so, no waaay.
I also didn't get to step on a scale yesterday, so I don't exactly know where we're starting from here, numberwise. I think we'll just call it 168 and be done with it. Could be higher, could be lower, who knows. It's right around 168.
But I did do pretty well foodwise. I had an eggwhite omelet for breakfast, soup and half a bagel with PB for lunch, a couple pieces of amazing chocolate that someone sent to my office, some popcorn in the afternoon, a souvlaki sandwich for dinner, and then, the one thing I really didn't need: a nice big chunk of a cinnabon. (I bought one for Daniel because he loves them. In retrospect, I knew I was going to have a bite of it. But I really did buy it for him!)
So that cinnabon put me over my points for the day by about 4, but that's okay. All part of the learning curve.
Today will be a bit challenging, but I'm up for it. Our office holiday party is tonight; my boss it throwing it at his very fancy Park Avenue apartment. So I'm CERTAIN there will be amazing snacks and high quality alcohol. I guess I should make a plan before I go.
I have already had a very sensible breakfast - whole wheat english muffin with PB and a banana, and yesterday I bought several healthy frozen meals (did you know Kashi now makes frozen entrees? whaaat?!) from a gourmet grocery store nearby, so I plan to "eat-in" all week long for breakfast and lunch. It will be easy to keep the points to a minimum today if I eat one of those frozen lunches, so I shall. I also plan to go to the gym on my lunch break. It will have to be a very quick workout, perhaps some cardio and some weight training, which will be a better calorie-burn than just the cardio alone. It will have to be very quick though.
Then, tonight, I will make sensible choices at the party. I will not eat dinner tonight and simply use those calories on the bitesize stuff at the party. I will also save room for three drinks, max. Probably gin and soda, since that will be low in calories. Maybe I'll have a glass of red wine if the mood strikes me. But no need to go crazy, it's still an office party for the most part. I will try to have a couple glasses of water too. I can practice enjoying the high quality of the food and alcohol rather than the quantity. (Even if it is free. Ugh, delicious, abundant, free food and drink. Yup, I've got my work cut out for me.)
My other tactic will be to have a piece of fruit or some popcorn just before we go so I'm not ravenous (and someone just put a big bowl of clementines in the office kitchen, sweet), and then when we get there, I'll have one taste of food, just to get it out of my system, and then I'll wait a little while before I have more. If I get into a frenzied eating pattern early on, it's a dead zone. I could easily graze my way through this whole night and end up 20 points in the hole. That will not happen tonight, so I just have to decide not to do it. I can gravitate toward the healthier options too, as opposed to fried or buttery stuff. There's no reason to stuff myself. Tomorrow, I want to feel really good about how I navigated the party.
So:
snack before we leave
3 glasses of alcohol throughout evening
intersperse with water
choose healthier foods
be judicious about how much I eat by tasting early on and then waiting a while
(If you're not into this weight loss thing and you're reading this right now, you're probably shocked, dismayed, and baffled at the extent to which I'm discussing these details. Yup. This is how it has to be. Trust me. It doesn't always have to be this way, but if you're trying to lose weight and regain control of your eating habits, it has to be this way for a little while. If you were once a fat girl, the likelihood of you attending a party with delicious food and drink and overeating to the hilt is pretty high. If you want to avoid it, you gotta do the pep talk. Weird but true, weird but true.)
Okay that's that. Feelin pretty good about this plan. Feelin' pretty good about getting back on track. Perhaps a WW meeting IS in my future, just to help solidify things further...hmmmm...we'll see.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Today, it's a weight loss blog.
I’m gonna write about weight loss for a little bit. If you want to read my regular blog go to www.jenc.tumblr.com. (Link on the right.)
It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post of this nature. In fact, I don’t think I”ve ever done this on this blog at all. When I first became a blogger, it was for the sole purpose of blogging about my weight loss experience. I lost 113.8 pounds and I started the blog well into that journey, after I discovered many other weight loss blogs that I read during that time were key parts of my system of support and ultimate success. I wanted to give back to people in that same way and create an interesting way for myself to be accountable.
I’m telling you right now that if you don’t already know me as a girl who attended weight watchers and wrote in detail about her food intake on the internet, you might want to quit reading right now. It can get very very tedious to read about other peoples food and exercise neuroses and really only those of us who are also going through or have gone through the same neurotic weight loss experience can relate. So if you don’t want to read details about how much I weigh, what I did for exercise yesterday, and how fat or thin I feel, leave now. I mean, I’m really begging you, leave now. Because it’s embarrassing enough for me to write this stuff as it is. But I want to become more accountable for my actions in this department and this is how I did it the last time, so this is an approach I’m going to take again.. Okay, enough disclaiming. I’m not sure how long this will be a weight loss blog, but today it is. Eff you if you don’t like it.
So the lowest weight I ever got to was 150.6, I think. And that was pretty good. I could have stood to lose 5 or 10 more pounds, but doesn’t every one feel that way?
I think I’m hovering around 168 right now. Which is NOT a weight I want to be. Granted, the 150 is a number I only hovered around for a few days, maybe a week, and my body rested more comfortably around 155 during that time (which was October 2005, btw – yikes!). So in the last two years (yikes!!!), I’ve put on about 15 pounds, give or take. That’s not awful, but it’s not great, and it’s not a trend that can continue. Oh HELL no.
What I want to do now is get back down to 150. Where I go from there will be up to God, frankly, because 150 was HARD work. But I know I can get back down there at least. I felt a lot better at that weight. And I will relish it even more the second time around.
I only exercised ONCE this past week. Despite this, I’ve been pretty good and pretty consistent in the last few months with my exercise. It certainly hasn’t been the caliber of exercise I was used to back in the day, but it’s been pretty good. Several days of cardio, two to three of lifting, each week. Not bad. Can always be better, though.
The problem has been the food. Interestingly, I still track points! I’ve done it pretty much every day since I started weight watchers over 5 years ago. That’s just how I stay SOMEWHAT within the realm of reason, even if I’m not actively trying to lose weight. And the trend that I’ve noticed in the last few months is that I eat about 70-75 flex points each week, consistently. So I eat my 23 points a day, and then I eat my 35 extra flex points each week, plus and additional 35 – 40 MORE points! Holy cow. No, that’s not a TON of extra food in the and yes it’s amazing that I still write it all down, but it’s still easily 2000 extra calories a week. Holy shit that’s a lot. That’s like almost two days worth of extra food So there’s some perspective I just achieved.
I’m not sure how best to go about changing this, except to just get down and dirty with it. Make changes, cut corners, eat less, change what sorts of things I eat, go back to basics: look up nutrition info, don’t guess all the time, make healthy choices in terms of what food groups I’m choosing, avoid alcohol, avoid over-snacking. It’s easy stuff, but stuff that I’ve slowly strayed away from here and there. Those calories add up. I’ve enjoyed the last two years of relatively free eating. The best part is that no matter what kind of damage I might want to do, foodwise, in any given night, I’m literally incapable of eating the way I used to. My habits, my normal way of living, has fundamentally changed, which is very cool to learn and relearn all the time. I am constantly making great choices based on the calories or the health benefits, it’s completely kneejerk. There are some things I won’t even eat because I just don’t think it’s worth it, healthwise. So that’s very cool.
I guess the stuff I need to add back in are weighing myself more often (I try to do so once a week, but it’s not consistent) and writing on here to be accountable. Also, setting a goal for myself, and setting smaller exercise and food goals.
Mondays will be my “weigh-in” day, though I don’t think I’m going to be going to meetings anytime soon. We’ll see. Right now, my scale goal is 150. My smaller goals for this week are going to be manageable. 4 times exercise, and no more than 35 flex points. I think that sounds pretty reasonable. Okay, can’t believe I’m posting this on the internet. Oh god. Gotta start somewhere, right?
It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post of this nature. In fact, I don’t think I”ve ever done this on this blog at all. When I first became a blogger, it was for the sole purpose of blogging about my weight loss experience. I lost 113.8 pounds and I started the blog well into that journey, after I discovered many other weight loss blogs that I read during that time were key parts of my system of support and ultimate success. I wanted to give back to people in that same way and create an interesting way for myself to be accountable.
I’m telling you right now that if you don’t already know me as a girl who attended weight watchers and wrote in detail about her food intake on the internet, you might want to quit reading right now. It can get very very tedious to read about other peoples food and exercise neuroses and really only those of us who are also going through or have gone through the same neurotic weight loss experience can relate. So if you don’t want to read details about how much I weigh, what I did for exercise yesterday, and how fat or thin I feel, leave now. I mean, I’m really begging you, leave now. Because it’s embarrassing enough for me to write this stuff as it is. But I want to become more accountable for my actions in this department and this is how I did it the last time, so this is an approach I’m going to take again.. Okay, enough disclaiming. I’m not sure how long this will be a weight loss blog, but today it is. Eff you if you don’t like it.
So the lowest weight I ever got to was 150.6, I think. And that was pretty good. I could have stood to lose 5 or 10 more pounds, but doesn’t every one feel that way?
I think I’m hovering around 168 right now. Which is NOT a weight I want to be. Granted, the 150 is a number I only hovered around for a few days, maybe a week, and my body rested more comfortably around 155 during that time (which was October 2005, btw – yikes!). So in the last two years (yikes!!!), I’ve put on about 15 pounds, give or take. That’s not awful, but it’s not great, and it’s not a trend that can continue. Oh HELL no.
What I want to do now is get back down to 150. Where I go from there will be up to God, frankly, because 150 was HARD work. But I know I can get back down there at least. I felt a lot better at that weight. And I will relish it even more the second time around.
I only exercised ONCE this past week. Despite this, I’ve been pretty good and pretty consistent in the last few months with my exercise. It certainly hasn’t been the caliber of exercise I was used to back in the day, but it’s been pretty good. Several days of cardio, two to three of lifting, each week. Not bad. Can always be better, though.
The problem has been the food. Interestingly, I still track points! I’ve done it pretty much every day since I started weight watchers over 5 years ago. That’s just how I stay SOMEWHAT within the realm of reason, even if I’m not actively trying to lose weight. And the trend that I’ve noticed in the last few months is that I eat about 70-75 flex points each week, consistently. So I eat my 23 points a day, and then I eat my 35 extra flex points each week, plus and additional 35 – 40 MORE points! Holy cow. No, that’s not a TON of extra food in the and yes it’s amazing that I still write it all down, but it’s still easily 2000 extra calories a week. Holy shit that’s a lot. That’s like almost two days worth of extra food So there’s some perspective I just achieved.
I’m not sure how best to go about changing this, except to just get down and dirty with it. Make changes, cut corners, eat less, change what sorts of things I eat, go back to basics: look up nutrition info, don’t guess all the time, make healthy choices in terms of what food groups I’m choosing, avoid alcohol, avoid over-snacking. It’s easy stuff, but stuff that I’ve slowly strayed away from here and there. Those calories add up. I’ve enjoyed the last two years of relatively free eating. The best part is that no matter what kind of damage I might want to do, foodwise, in any given night, I’m literally incapable of eating the way I used to. My habits, my normal way of living, has fundamentally changed, which is very cool to learn and relearn all the time. I am constantly making great choices based on the calories or the health benefits, it’s completely kneejerk. There are some things I won’t even eat because I just don’t think it’s worth it, healthwise. So that’s very cool.
I guess the stuff I need to add back in are weighing myself more often (I try to do so once a week, but it’s not consistent) and writing on here to be accountable. Also, setting a goal for myself, and setting smaller exercise and food goals.
Mondays will be my “weigh-in” day, though I don’t think I’m going to be going to meetings anytime soon. We’ll see. Right now, my scale goal is 150. My smaller goals for this week are going to be manageable. 4 times exercise, and no more than 35 flex points. I think that sounds pretty reasonable. Okay, can’t believe I’m posting this on the internet. Oh god. Gotta start somewhere, right?
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Now that I've got that new blog, I can use this old blog for anything I want!
I watched the new HST reel today - Chris showed it to a bunch of us this afternoon and it's AWESOME. But the one thing I realized is that I could stand to lose some weight.
If you came to this blog from my old weight loss blog, you will understand where I'm coming from. If you came to this blog as a friend outside the weight loss community, you might roll your eyes at me and think I'm silly to write this shit online.
But I was thinking the other day about how I came to be a big internet person, because when the internet first came out, I was decidedly un-internet-y, only ever online to check my email or MAYBE go to a website. I had a boyfriend at the time who was big into the internet and I could never understand it. I realized that when I joined weight watchers a few years later and started losing weight, I became more active online, reading people's blogs, posting on the WW forum, generally learning more and more about weight loss from the world wide web. So from pretty early on in my weight loss, the internet played a big part of my experience.
So I guess there's no other fitting place to return to when I feel like I need to shed a good 20 pounds. And that's about all it is. 20 pounds. That might sound like a lot to some people, but it's not, trust me. I've lost 115. What's 20. Peh.
But it's hard work, regardless. And I've got to get recommitted to it. I still workout all the time and I'm ALWAYS watching what I eat, but I'm not actively focused on LOSING weight right now. And I need to be. Because I look like the not-thin girl on this HST reel, which is not the "type" I want to be when HST hits it big. I guess I might not have a choice in that matter, since I'm never gonna be a size 2, but I can control how not-thin I am, can't I? :)
More on this soon, I suppose. Starting now, I'll workout and eat well for the next two days and then I'll weigh myself on Monday (I usually check in with the scale on Mondays) to see what we're dealing with. Maybe I'll even go to a weight watchers meeting?!?! Whhhhaaat?!?! :)
If you came to this blog from my old weight loss blog, you will understand where I'm coming from. If you came to this blog as a friend outside the weight loss community, you might roll your eyes at me and think I'm silly to write this shit online.
But I was thinking the other day about how I came to be a big internet person, because when the internet first came out, I was decidedly un-internet-y, only ever online to check my email or MAYBE go to a website. I had a boyfriend at the time who was big into the internet and I could never understand it. I realized that when I joined weight watchers a few years later and started losing weight, I became more active online, reading people's blogs, posting on the WW forum, generally learning more and more about weight loss from the world wide web. So from pretty early on in my weight loss, the internet played a big part of my experience.
So I guess there's no other fitting place to return to when I feel like I need to shed a good 20 pounds. And that's about all it is. 20 pounds. That might sound like a lot to some people, but it's not, trust me. I've lost 115. What's 20. Peh.
But it's hard work, regardless. And I've got to get recommitted to it. I still workout all the time and I'm ALWAYS watching what I eat, but I'm not actively focused on LOSING weight right now. And I need to be. Because I look like the not-thin girl on this HST reel, which is not the "type" I want to be when HST hits it big. I guess I might not have a choice in that matter, since I'm never gonna be a size 2, but I can control how not-thin I am, can't I? :)
More on this soon, I suppose. Starting now, I'll workout and eat well for the next two days and then I'll weigh myself on Monday (I usually check in with the scale on Mondays) to see what we're dealing with. Maybe I'll even go to a weight watchers meeting?!?! Whhhhaaat?!?! :)
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