So, even though today's weigh-in day, I haven't weighed. Didn't weigh last week either. I'm doing the same as always on my plan - exercise and eating wise, pretty consistent. But my stupid scale is dead. And the lithium battery it takes is HARD TO FIND GRRR.
I did well last week - pretty standard. Over flex by 20 something, worked out 4 times. My goal this upcoming week is to eat less and move more. Shocking.
I'd like to get in more cardio this week. I think I can manage that. I took a tiny break from lifting a week or so ago, like two extra days off, and when I returned to lifting, my muscles were MAD and sore. So that was kinda cool. I love feeling like I've worked hard.
I do have something excellent to report, though, for which I have the city of New York to thank. I'm not actually sure if this is just a new NYC ordinance or if it's a state-wide thing or what. Regardless, it's awesome. They've recently passed a law requiring all chain restaurants (so, fast food places, but also places like Starbucks, AuBonPain, Cosi, you get the idea) to POST THE CALORIC CONTENT OF EVERY ITEM ON THEIR MENU IN A LOCATION IMMEDIATELY VISIBLE TO THEIR PATRONS. And so most places have taken to putting this information right on the menu, right next to each food item. And a lot of places even put the info on, for example, the little sign sticking out of the pile of cookies for sale on the counter. It will say "Chocolate Chunk Cookie 450 calories."
That, my friends, is BLISS for a weight watcher. BLISS.
IT'S BLISS.
When I first heard they were planning to pass this law, I thought, "Oh cool, but also, not really gonna affect me THAT much. I mean, I basically already know the caloric content, give or take, for every food on planet earth. It might be nice to have a reminder, though." AU CONTRAIRE. How mistaken I was! This lovely new detail (albeit, arguably, governmental interference in private life but who gives a fuck do you want to be fat all your life?) has actually saved me on now three separate occasions since the law went into affect a couple weeks ago.
1. I was at AuBonPain in the morning trying to grab something for breakfast. I was in a rush and nothing sounded good AND I wanted something warm because it was chilly outside. I hate having to make a healthy decision when I'm in a rush and I don't have all the information, so I was a little stressed. I was standing in front of the warm filled crossiants, about to grab some weird breakfast quesadilla thing, when I glanced up at the sign above the case that and saw the calories were listed right next to the sandwiches. I died from joy. The breakfast quesadilla I was about to grab, thinking I was making the best possible choice, actually contained THREE TIMES the calories as the lowest item on the list, which was the spinach and cheese filled croissant and which, for the record, was only 250 calories. AND IT IS DELICIOUSSSSSSSSSS. I never would have chosen the crossiant if I hadn't had the information. And I'm so glad I did. I've gotten it twice more for breakfast since then and it's so yummy and tastes sinful but ISN'T that bad!! Unreal.
2. Kevin and I had just gotten out of a movie. We were exhausted and starving and we went across the street to Cosi to get some takeout sandwiches before heading home to crash. We opened the takeout menu to discover that all the calories were listed right next to each item. I died from joy. I was beside myself over it. Kevin can attest. It was really sort of ridiculous how happy it made me. But the reason I was so excited was because I didn't have to stand there, brain-drained, weighing all the different options in my mind, considering what I wanted verses what sounded the healthiest verses which items had the restaurant's little symbol for "lighter fare," etc. etc. I could just look at the caloric content, choose the lowest calorie sandwich from the list, make sure I liked what was in it, and order it UP! (I should mention that I also discovered that the items that bared the "lighter fare" symbol, which is a symbol this particular restaurant used well before this calorie law was in place, weren't the items that were the lowest in calorie! In fact, some of them were extremely high calorie! So, I guess "lighter fare" refers to fat grams? Fat grams, which have nothing to do with anything weight control related. What is this, 1989?) I also learned that the spinach artichoke dip, which is very tasty from this place, is surprisingly low in calories (150!) when I never before would have considered ordering that on a healthy night. Kevin and I also learned that this weirdo nasty looking "healthy" granola bar thing they had for sale at the counter was the same fucking calorie amount as the GIANT chocolate chip cookie or the amazing looking chocolate brownie. Come ON! This is info everyone needs to have!!! Who doesn't want a giant cookie?!
3. I went to AuBonPain again today for lunch and chose a cheese/fruit dish that seemed high calorie to me but was actually lower calorie than the other option I was considering. This anecdote isn't as exciting as the previous two.
Now, I recognize that calorie amount is not the be-all end-all of healthy eating. And I also recognize that just because something is low in calories doesn't mean it's not filled with toxic chemicals or doesn't mean it's not extremely high in sugar or trans fat (which is also banned in NYC restaurants, btw). So it's certainly not a blanket solution to unhealthy food consumption. But having the calorie information in front of me when I'm making a food choice is still a welcome piece of information. When I'm deciding what to order, I still consider the type of food (i.e. protein, dairy, carb, veggies) and how much fiber I would imagine it has, and whether or not it's made from natural ingredients or filled with preservatives. I would be in healthy-living HEAVEN if they provided all that info at every restaurant. But they don't. And they probably won't. So having only the calorie information as a guide is a good start as far as I'm concerned.
Obesity is such an epidemic in this country (in NYC, not so much at all, which makes this calorie rule sort of ironic, but I'm not complaining), knowing more information about the food you're eating is an awesome step in the right direction.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
My friend at work is eating an apple right now. I just finished a salad for lunch and now I want something sweet. So I'm having my boss get my a cookie while she's out. Hmm. That apple is obviously the better choice. But I want the damn cookie. And I just had a healthy salad. I wonder if I can let the cookie be my one sweet treat for the day and eat fruits, veggies, and lean meats the rest of the day. I bet I can. Let's give it a whirl (cuz I'm obviously eating the cookie...ahem..) and then later tonight after my rehearsal, before meeting up with Kevin, I'll go to the gym and do something physical for 45 mins.
Practice makes progress...
Practice makes progress...
I'm a fan of life, generally. And I try to surround myself with people who feel the same. But regardless, it often gets in the way of my best-laid plans to eat well and exercise.
My friend Emily, who actually just returned to blogging about healthy-living after a hiatus, had this very experience this past weekend. A new baby was welcomed into her family - very exciting - and she spent several days with her family enjoying the celebration. And of course, there was food. Naturally, everyone can relate to this. Part of the social and cultural experience of being alive involves eating and drinking with your friends and family. Food is so incredibly yummy and makes people feel so good, of course we'd want to gather in groups to consume it and of course when we're in groups, we're going to figure out ways to consume it together.
(Incidentally, Emily was the first blogger I ever read. She had a weight loss blog before practically anybody did - at least that's what I experienced in my small frame of reference. She was a huge inspiration for a lot of people when she first started her blog, which documented her weight loss journey. She had a ton of success, lost a ton of weight, and totally transformed her whole life. I definitely know at least a dozen women who began blogging about their weight loss because Emily did it first. She rules.)
So, today is Tuesday, my weigh-in day. I haven't weighed-in because my scale is dead. Gah! The battery, a lithium one, is yet again drained. I swear I'm running through these lithium batteries like it's my job. And they aren't cheap. What scales do you guys use? Do the batteries go quickly? I need to reinvest, I think.
Anyway, this past week was not awful, nor stellar. Pretty middle of the road. There was a lot of little stuff going on - I did four shows, we went to a birthday party, saw a live show, it was super warm this weekend, etc. etc. Lots of tempting reasons to eat and not exercise.
I didn't exercise nearly as hard as I had the week prior. I still got in four workouts, and two of them were nice long runs, but it was not nearly as much exercise as I'd hoped for. I hope to improve that this week. Now that I'm back in the running groove, hopefully the workouts themselves will be more effective even if the time spent isn't quite as long.
I definitely encountered several eating hurdles. Or, more accurately, drinking hurdles. I went out for drinks on Wednesday after an improv show, Friday after an improv show, and Saturday for Katie's birthday. I didn't drink TOO much - just wine and a couple gin and sodas one night, but it was still much more than I'm used to. I also went with some friends to see a comedy show on Sunday night (incidentally, Sunday was 4/20, so there was some mindless eating in that regard as well) and the restaurant we went to (thank you, Sarah, that place was awesome) had such a huge menu with lots of good lookin' shit on it. And I got something yummy and didn't look back.
I don't really know what the scale's saying right now - I haven't been on it in a few days due to the battery fiasco. It was down earlier in the week, but who can say. But I kinda like that I don't know. Because now I can just judge my past week based on my actions, not on a number.
So, overall, okay exercise, but I didn't have enough time to get in what I really wanted to get in. And okay food. I need to go easy on the sweets and limit the alcohol this week. I'm not a big drinker as it is, so I don't mind avoiding it this week. A little sugar detox, if you will.
I will say, though, that I had several salads this week, which I hardly ever do. It was nice and warm outside, I was needing veggies, so I got salad. Then I got it again and again. I'm enjoying it and am going to try to start making them from home (to save the $10 a pop). So that is definitely a good thing. More veggies = always best.
Oh and I went over flex by about 30 this week. Not the 10 I'd hoped for. And not the 24 over I did last week. But not that 42 over I've been known to do either. Fine. I"ll just keep fucking plugging away. Grrr.
I'll try to get a battery (or a new scale) in the next few days. In the meantime, I'm thrilled it's a "new" week for me. It always brings so much possibility with it. I hope to get in four cardio sessions, some lifting and pilates, and I'll keep working to get that flex number closer to ZERO. Nothing too difficult is in the books right now for the week ahead, in terms of food. We are going to a BBQ on Saturday (hi, jeff) but I have a feeling there will be plenty of healthy things to eat. BBQs are usually good like that. :)
My friend Emily, who actually just returned to blogging about healthy-living after a hiatus, had this very experience this past weekend. A new baby was welcomed into her family - very exciting - and she spent several days with her family enjoying the celebration. And of course, there was food. Naturally, everyone can relate to this. Part of the social and cultural experience of being alive involves eating and drinking with your friends and family. Food is so incredibly yummy and makes people feel so good, of course we'd want to gather in groups to consume it and of course when we're in groups, we're going to figure out ways to consume it together.
(Incidentally, Emily was the first blogger I ever read. She had a weight loss blog before practically anybody did - at least that's what I experienced in my small frame of reference. She was a huge inspiration for a lot of people when she first started her blog, which documented her weight loss journey. She had a ton of success, lost a ton of weight, and totally transformed her whole life. I definitely know at least a dozen women who began blogging about their weight loss because Emily did it first. She rules.)
So, today is Tuesday, my weigh-in day. I haven't weighed-in because my scale is dead. Gah! The battery, a lithium one, is yet again drained. I swear I'm running through these lithium batteries like it's my job. And they aren't cheap. What scales do you guys use? Do the batteries go quickly? I need to reinvest, I think.
Anyway, this past week was not awful, nor stellar. Pretty middle of the road. There was a lot of little stuff going on - I did four shows, we went to a birthday party, saw a live show, it was super warm this weekend, etc. etc. Lots of tempting reasons to eat and not exercise.
I didn't exercise nearly as hard as I had the week prior. I still got in four workouts, and two of them were nice long runs, but it was not nearly as much exercise as I'd hoped for. I hope to improve that this week. Now that I'm back in the running groove, hopefully the workouts themselves will be more effective even if the time spent isn't quite as long.
I definitely encountered several eating hurdles. Or, more accurately, drinking hurdles. I went out for drinks on Wednesday after an improv show, Friday after an improv show, and Saturday for Katie's birthday. I didn't drink TOO much - just wine and a couple gin and sodas one night, but it was still much more than I'm used to. I also went with some friends to see a comedy show on Sunday night (incidentally, Sunday was 4/20, so there was some mindless eating in that regard as well) and the restaurant we went to (thank you, Sarah, that place was awesome) had such a huge menu with lots of good lookin' shit on it. And I got something yummy and didn't look back.
I don't really know what the scale's saying right now - I haven't been on it in a few days due to the battery fiasco. It was down earlier in the week, but who can say. But I kinda like that I don't know. Because now I can just judge my past week based on my actions, not on a number.
So, overall, okay exercise, but I didn't have enough time to get in what I really wanted to get in. And okay food. I need to go easy on the sweets and limit the alcohol this week. I'm not a big drinker as it is, so I don't mind avoiding it this week. A little sugar detox, if you will.
I will say, though, that I had several salads this week, which I hardly ever do. It was nice and warm outside, I was needing veggies, so I got salad. Then I got it again and again. I'm enjoying it and am going to try to start making them from home (to save the $10 a pop). So that is definitely a good thing. More veggies = always best.
Oh and I went over flex by about 30 this week. Not the 10 I'd hoped for. And not the 24 over I did last week. But not that 42 over I've been known to do either. Fine. I"ll just keep fucking plugging away. Grrr.
I'll try to get a battery (or a new scale) in the next few days. In the meantime, I'm thrilled it's a "new" week for me. It always brings so much possibility with it. I hope to get in four cardio sessions, some lifting and pilates, and I'll keep working to get that flex number closer to ZERO. Nothing too difficult is in the books right now for the week ahead, in terms of food. We are going to a BBQ on Saturday (hi, jeff) but I have a feeling there will be plenty of healthy things to eat. BBQs are usually good like that. :)
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Just got back from the dentist. My face is numb. Eating is a struggle. Alas. I won't write about it here, I already wrote enough about it in my regular blog. (Link on the right.)
So. Things are going well on this front. Weigh-in was today. Lost a pound. Not great, but I'll definitely take it.
The last several weeks, I've shown an increase in exercise. I was doing the bare minimum when I got serious about losing a few pounds back in January and I've since upped it a lot. But I think that increase in exercise also caused me to be hungrier (naturally) because even though I've been working out a lot more lately, I've also been going over my flex points each week, as I've mentioned time and again. So it sort of balances itself out and results in minimal or no weight loss.
I would say that this past week was my first week in quite some time of working out really hard AND eating closer to how I should be eating. For example, last week I went over flex points by 42. FORTY-TWO! Wow, I didn't realize it was that high. Yeeps. And this week I only went over by 24. That might still sound like a lot but it's huge progress for me. The last several weeks, including the week I was on vacation in Florida, have been, in retrospect, eating fests. I really don't FEEL like I'm eating that much! That's the funny thing. I make sacrifices every day, scale back on portions all the time, make healthier choices whenever possible. But the numbers show it. I've just gotten used to eating at this "maintenance" level, which would be great if I were hoping to maintain my weight, but I'm not. I'd like to lose ten pounds so I can have a goddammed plate of nachoes or a bottle of wine from time to time and feel like there's some wiggle room there.
So anyway, this past week was much better. I earned 21 APs (activity points for those non-weight watchers - you earn them when you exercise and you can eat some more food based upon them) which is the most I've earned since January 1. Like I said before, I've been conservative with how many APs I reward myself, (thank god, since I've been eating so many points) so I've probably earned more each week than I give myself credit for. But this past week was pretty good in terms of exercise. I exceeded my goal of working out twice over the weekend. I had an excellent workout on Friday night (some running and lifting), on Saturday my friend and I took a lesiurely walk around my neighborhood, but we walked for three hours straight! So that was really good. Then Sunday, Kevin and I popped into the gym while we were visiting his parents for a quick workout. Yesterday, Monday, was great too. I ran for 45 consecutive minutes outside after work. It's the longest I've run in months. It was great and my body and brain loved every second. It's amazing how quickly my body built back up to being able to run for longer periods.
I'm determined to make this week another great one. I'm really feeling my groove at the gym again. Having Kevin there, even if only in spirit, has made a huge difference. It's so nice to know he's working out too. So I don't see the workouts being a problem this week. I'll take today off, though. Sore and tired from last night's run.
Food - I think I can get it down to 10-over-flex, down from 24-over-flex this week. That means plenty of fruits and veggies, healthy filling breakfasts, bring lunches from home, and avoid fried foods and sugary crap. I will lick this if it kills me. Okaaaay.
Here we go.
So. Things are going well on this front. Weigh-in was today. Lost a pound. Not great, but I'll definitely take it.
The last several weeks, I've shown an increase in exercise. I was doing the bare minimum when I got serious about losing a few pounds back in January and I've since upped it a lot. But I think that increase in exercise also caused me to be hungrier (naturally) because even though I've been working out a lot more lately, I've also been going over my flex points each week, as I've mentioned time and again. So it sort of balances itself out and results in minimal or no weight loss.
I would say that this past week was my first week in quite some time of working out really hard AND eating closer to how I should be eating. For example, last week I went over flex points by 42. FORTY-TWO! Wow, I didn't realize it was that high. Yeeps. And this week I only went over by 24. That might still sound like a lot but it's huge progress for me. The last several weeks, including the week I was on vacation in Florida, have been, in retrospect, eating fests. I really don't FEEL like I'm eating that much! That's the funny thing. I make sacrifices every day, scale back on portions all the time, make healthier choices whenever possible. But the numbers show it. I've just gotten used to eating at this "maintenance" level, which would be great if I were hoping to maintain my weight, but I'm not. I'd like to lose ten pounds so I can have a goddammed plate of nachoes or a bottle of wine from time to time and feel like there's some wiggle room there.
So anyway, this past week was much better. I earned 21 APs (activity points for those non-weight watchers - you earn them when you exercise and you can eat some more food based upon them) which is the most I've earned since January 1. Like I said before, I've been conservative with how many APs I reward myself, (thank god, since I've been eating so many points) so I've probably earned more each week than I give myself credit for. But this past week was pretty good in terms of exercise. I exceeded my goal of working out twice over the weekend. I had an excellent workout on Friday night (some running and lifting), on Saturday my friend and I took a lesiurely walk around my neighborhood, but we walked for three hours straight! So that was really good. Then Sunday, Kevin and I popped into the gym while we were visiting his parents for a quick workout. Yesterday, Monday, was great too. I ran for 45 consecutive minutes outside after work. It's the longest I've run in months. It was great and my body and brain loved every second. It's amazing how quickly my body built back up to being able to run for longer periods.
I'm determined to make this week another great one. I'm really feeling my groove at the gym again. Having Kevin there, even if only in spirit, has made a huge difference. It's so nice to know he's working out too. So I don't see the workouts being a problem this week. I'll take today off, though. Sore and tired from last night's run.
Food - I think I can get it down to 10-over-flex, down from 24-over-flex this week. That means plenty of fruits and veggies, healthy filling breakfasts, bring lunches from home, and avoid fried foods and sugary crap. I will lick this if it kills me. Okaaaay.
Here we go.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
quickleeee
I'm at Kevin's, heading out the door to meet friends at my house for the painting extravaganza... but I wanted to post a quick update.
Last night was a big success for me, health-wise. I went to the gym after work...I was really looking forward to being there. I'd had a difficult and rainy day and I was exhausted and I just wanted to meditate in that way that exercise allows you to.
I started lifting, and lifted for 25 minutes, when some personal trainer guy came down to the weights area, which had thinned out considerably, but it's Friday night, so I wasn't surprised. He said, "We close at 8." And I looked at the clock and it was 8:05. Fuuuuck. The best laid plans, right? I hadn't even gotten to do half of the workout I had planned. I was pissed to say the least. But THEN he said, you can go to the 24 hour location on 52 and Broadway.
So I did! I went upstairs, got my shit, and left the gym. I was a little concerned about time, because I had to meet a friend at 9:30, but I figured there was still plenty of time to get some cardio in. So I walked the couple blocks to the other gym (I go to NYSC which is like the Starbucks of gyms in NYC. There's one on every corner, it seems.) and arrived only a couple minutes later, still feeling the tingle from my lifting.
I put my shit in the locker room and hurried back out to the equipment, finished lifting (another ten mins) and then got on the treadmill and ran for 20 minutes straight. Yes!! It wasn't nearly as hard as it was last time I ran for 20 straight, which I did about a week and a half ago. I've been running since then, but not all at once...I've been mixing it up with walking, i.e. two minutes running, one walking. So it felt really good to do 20 in a row and it made me really feel like I've made some good progress physically in the last week. (It also cracks me up that I used to do 60 minutes of running without batting and eye and now 20 is a push. Oh, body.) Then I hiked for 10 minutes, stretched, and got the hell out of there.
I walked into the bar at 9:30 on the nose. Nice. I had a couple drinks with my friend (I chose vodka and soda, which I never have, but I wanted the buzz and fewer calories) and some chicken satay for protein and mini pizza, which was gross so I scraped the awful awful cheese off it and just had the pita bread and sauce underneath. Kev showed up a while later, my friend left soon after that, and Kev and I finished our drinks and headed home. I made some popcorn when we got here, just to curb the munchie feeling, had a tiny bit of it and some water and was exhausted. Fell into bed around 2:30.
Good night. Didn't go over points at all!! Really proud of that. And the workout was lovely.
Now I'm headed home to queens to paaaaint, bitches.
Last night was a big success for me, health-wise. I went to the gym after work...I was really looking forward to being there. I'd had a difficult and rainy day and I was exhausted and I just wanted to meditate in that way that exercise allows you to.
I started lifting, and lifted for 25 minutes, when some personal trainer guy came down to the weights area, which had thinned out considerably, but it's Friday night, so I wasn't surprised. He said, "We close at 8." And I looked at the clock and it was 8:05. Fuuuuck. The best laid plans, right? I hadn't even gotten to do half of the workout I had planned. I was pissed to say the least. But THEN he said, you can go to the 24 hour location on 52 and Broadway.
So I did! I went upstairs, got my shit, and left the gym. I was a little concerned about time, because I had to meet a friend at 9:30, but I figured there was still plenty of time to get some cardio in. So I walked the couple blocks to the other gym (I go to NYSC which is like the Starbucks of gyms in NYC. There's one on every corner, it seems.) and arrived only a couple minutes later, still feeling the tingle from my lifting.
I put my shit in the locker room and hurried back out to the equipment, finished lifting (another ten mins) and then got on the treadmill and ran for 20 minutes straight. Yes!! It wasn't nearly as hard as it was last time I ran for 20 straight, which I did about a week and a half ago. I've been running since then, but not all at once...I've been mixing it up with walking, i.e. two minutes running, one walking. So it felt really good to do 20 in a row and it made me really feel like I've made some good progress physically in the last week. (It also cracks me up that I used to do 60 minutes of running without batting and eye and now 20 is a push. Oh, body.) Then I hiked for 10 minutes, stretched, and got the hell out of there.
I walked into the bar at 9:30 on the nose. Nice. I had a couple drinks with my friend (I chose vodka and soda, which I never have, but I wanted the buzz and fewer calories) and some chicken satay for protein and mini pizza, which was gross so I scraped the awful awful cheese off it and just had the pita bread and sauce underneath. Kev showed up a while later, my friend left soon after that, and Kev and I finished our drinks and headed home. I made some popcorn when we got here, just to curb the munchie feeling, had a tiny bit of it and some water and was exhausted. Fell into bed around 2:30.
Good night. Didn't go over points at all!! Really proud of that. And the workout was lovely.
Now I'm headed home to queens to paaaaint, bitches.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Staring down the weekend....
Twenty more minutes until the end of the workday. I'm going to meet a friend for drinks at 9:30 after I hit the gym for a nice long workout. I really need this workout. I've been a grump today - tired and irritable.
I said to Kevin, I think I'm depressed today. He says, Go to the gym!
Who is this man? I love it.
Things are going okay this week, food-wise. I'm doing my best. I've been trying to integrate some of this mindfulness about eating too much sugar/empty crap, which causes hunger and a desire for more sugary crappity. It hasn't actually effected the amount of points (calories) I'm eating in a day yet, but I've been eating more nutritious stuff, so hopefully after a couple weeks of this mindfulness, it will result in consuming less food overall. I've been eating more fruits and veggies, healthier breakfasts, and avoiding fried stuff, so all in all, it's progress.
It's funny to be going around in these same circles, mentally, about how/what to eat that I was in when I first embarked on the weight loss journey. I feel like I could have written the exact paragraph above five years ago. I'm not disappointed by it at all, I don't expect myself to be cured of my desire to nosh just because I've done this all before. I know that this is how the human mind works, in fact. It has to retrace the same pattern dozens and dozens of times before a new groove gets carved out and a new habit is formed. And even then, the old groove is right there waiting for you to slip up and return to its seductive clutches. Blah blah blah, just eat a goddammed apple, ya know?
It's Friday today and I've only worked out on Wednesday of this week so far. So this weekend will probably involve a couple good workouts to make up for it. Sunday, Kevin and I are going to his parents house to hang with the fam/see the nephew. I'm looking forward to it. I enjoy their company and that baby is just to die for. He calls me Jem. Have I mentioned that yet? If not, I'm surprised. Because I've told everyone else who will listen. It's just too precious. His mom, Kevin's sister Lisa, told Kevin that he's been calling every woman he meets lately "Jem." Couldn't you just die over that? It's the sweetest. I want him to live at my house, this baby. But only for a week. ;)
ANNNNYway...I'm planning to paint my bedroom tomorrow, which is good for the ol' bod. And I'll hopefully get to exercise with Kev afterwards. Then Sunday morning we're slotted to play tennis with his dad when we get to Rockland. Should be lovely. Not much of a serious workout, but movement nonetheless. If it's nice out, maybe I'll go for a run in the evening.
Weekends always present food challenges. Tonight will hopefully be easy to navigate. Going to the gym before going out will put me in a healthy mindframe. I'll have a couple drinks afterwards, but nothing too heavy, and a light dinner. And Sunday will of course be tough food-wise too. Family. Brunch. Spreads of food. It's not ideal. But I'll live. My goal is to get through this weekend having worked out at least twice and having eaten within my points each day. It can be done. I know it.
Grrrr.....
I said to Kevin, I think I'm depressed today. He says, Go to the gym!
Who is this man? I love it.
Things are going okay this week, food-wise. I'm doing my best. I've been trying to integrate some of this mindfulness about eating too much sugar/empty crap, which causes hunger and a desire for more sugary crappity. It hasn't actually effected the amount of points (calories) I'm eating in a day yet, but I've been eating more nutritious stuff, so hopefully after a couple weeks of this mindfulness, it will result in consuming less food overall. I've been eating more fruits and veggies, healthier breakfasts, and avoiding fried stuff, so all in all, it's progress.
It's funny to be going around in these same circles, mentally, about how/what to eat that I was in when I first embarked on the weight loss journey. I feel like I could have written the exact paragraph above five years ago. I'm not disappointed by it at all, I don't expect myself to be cured of my desire to nosh just because I've done this all before. I know that this is how the human mind works, in fact. It has to retrace the same pattern dozens and dozens of times before a new groove gets carved out and a new habit is formed. And even then, the old groove is right there waiting for you to slip up and return to its seductive clutches. Blah blah blah, just eat a goddammed apple, ya know?
It's Friday today and I've only worked out on Wednesday of this week so far. So this weekend will probably involve a couple good workouts to make up for it. Sunday, Kevin and I are going to his parents house to hang with the fam/see the nephew. I'm looking forward to it. I enjoy their company and that baby is just to die for. He calls me Jem. Have I mentioned that yet? If not, I'm surprised. Because I've told everyone else who will listen. It's just too precious. His mom, Kevin's sister Lisa, told Kevin that he's been calling every woman he meets lately "Jem." Couldn't you just die over that? It's the sweetest. I want him to live at my house, this baby. But only for a week. ;)
ANNNNYway...I'm planning to paint my bedroom tomorrow, which is good for the ol' bod. And I'll hopefully get to exercise with Kev afterwards. Then Sunday morning we're slotted to play tennis with his dad when we get to Rockland. Should be lovely. Not much of a serious workout, but movement nonetheless. If it's nice out, maybe I'll go for a run in the evening.
Weekends always present food challenges. Tonight will hopefully be easy to navigate. Going to the gym before going out will put me in a healthy mindframe. I'll have a couple drinks afterwards, but nothing too heavy, and a light dinner. And Sunday will of course be tough food-wise too. Family. Brunch. Spreads of food. It's not ideal. But I'll live. My goal is to get through this weekend having worked out at least twice and having eaten within my points each day. It can be done. I know it.
Grrrr.....
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
The commenter to the post below is correct. I need to be more mindful of the types of foods I'm eating if I want to avoid being extremely hungry and without the points to feed that hunger at the end of every day. That's going to cause overeating every time.
Again, that stupid fine line between eating what's good for your body and eating what you WANT rears its annoying head.
I've been mindful today. Naturally, because why could it be easy, I'm very hungry anyway. But the first day "off" too much useless food is always difficult.
(Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop eating useless food, but I do want to eat a bit less of it for a while. I think I won't be so hungry all the time.)
I gymmed at lunch - 25 mins on the 'mill. Nothing extreme, but it's all I had time for. I can't wait to eat dinner, I'm seriously ravenous, despite eating good stuff today.
I'm irritated by the whole mess.
Again, that stupid fine line between eating what's good for your body and eating what you WANT rears its annoying head.
I've been mindful today. Naturally, because why could it be easy, I'm very hungry anyway. But the first day "off" too much useless food is always difficult.
(Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna stop eating useless food, but I do want to eat a bit less of it for a while. I think I won't be so hungry all the time.)
I gymmed at lunch - 25 mins on the 'mill. Nothing extreme, but it's all I had time for. I can't wait to eat dinner, I'm seriously ravenous, despite eating good stuff today.
I'm irritated by the whole mess.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
As expected, the scale was up this morning, weigh-in morning, almost certainly due to the mexican fiesta I participated in on Sunday night. What can you do, right? I gained a pound this week. Who really cares, I know I'm making over all progress. I'll just keep telling you guys that so I can keep telling myself.
I didn't workout last night, I was too tired/recovering from my hangover. I went straight home after work (due to a cancelled rehearsal, which was lucky for me) and slept the night away. I woke up feeling pretty good this morning.
I've been snacky again today. I started out the day very well with some whole grain toast, a tiny bit of peanut butter, and a banana. I felt full. Then we got free lunch at work. I opted to order a chicken sandwich and fries. It sounds unhealthy, but I think I might have ended up eating even more points had I ordered either of the other two options (sushi or salads). I find that when I go for one of those options and I'm eating out I end up using 9-14 points ANYway. Silly. So I got the chicken burger and fries and only ate about 1/4 of the fries and considered that I was employing that "I Can Make You Thin" guy's method of eating what I want. I think his stuff makes sense. And I did enjoy the meal.
But then I wanted something sweet in the afternoon. And I had eight points worth of sweets. It wasn't intentional. I didn't realize how many points were in the chocolates I ate. :( But I didn't exactly double check before eating them either. That will forever be my downfall: I love sweet stuff and could eat a whole meal of it.
The reason I'm detailing all this a bit more than usual is because I'm trying to get to the bottom of what's causing my weekly over eating. This past week was another week of not-ideal eating and really great exercise. It's the best exercise I've had in months, in fact. So it's disheartening that I might have impeded that progress by overeating. (Birthday party. Like I said, I don't regret it. But still.) I'm hoping to pay a bit more attention to my habits each day so I can make some small changes that might pay off in the long run. I think the sweets is an important thing to note. Perhaps also it might be better if I could have some more protein at breakfast.
So I suppose something I should work on this week is decreasing the sweets and increasing the fruits and veggies and lean proteins. This is histortically difficult for me - especially if I'm operating in that "i deserve" mindset. I deserve sweets. Well, true. I do. But I also deserve to be healthy and well-fed from a nutritional standpoint. So I guess I'm going to have to start practicing some more fruit-intaking.
My plan for tomorrow is to have protein in the morning, a frozen meal at lunchtime, something small for dessert, a snack of nuts and fruit in the afternoon, and maybe sushi for dinner.
I've already gone over my points for the day today by 5. And I haven't even had dinner yet. My plan is to get something relatively light for dinner - hopefully 8points or less - and then exercise after my rehearsal, reducing some of the damage. Today is the first day of my new week and I really want to get off to a good start, but eating all your points plus five more before 7pm isn't a good start. I think I can clean it up, though, with a little mindfulness.
DAMN YOU SCALE. You get me every fucking time.
I didn't workout last night, I was too tired/recovering from my hangover. I went straight home after work (due to a cancelled rehearsal, which was lucky for me) and slept the night away. I woke up feeling pretty good this morning.
I've been snacky again today. I started out the day very well with some whole grain toast, a tiny bit of peanut butter, and a banana. I felt full. Then we got free lunch at work. I opted to order a chicken sandwich and fries. It sounds unhealthy, but I think I might have ended up eating even more points had I ordered either of the other two options (sushi or salads). I find that when I go for one of those options and I'm eating out I end up using 9-14 points ANYway. Silly. So I got the chicken burger and fries and only ate about 1/4 of the fries and considered that I was employing that "I Can Make You Thin" guy's method of eating what I want. I think his stuff makes sense. And I did enjoy the meal.
But then I wanted something sweet in the afternoon. And I had eight points worth of sweets. It wasn't intentional. I didn't realize how many points were in the chocolates I ate. :( But I didn't exactly double check before eating them either. That will forever be my downfall: I love sweet stuff and could eat a whole meal of it.
The reason I'm detailing all this a bit more than usual is because I'm trying to get to the bottom of what's causing my weekly over eating. This past week was another week of not-ideal eating and really great exercise. It's the best exercise I've had in months, in fact. So it's disheartening that I might have impeded that progress by overeating. (Birthday party. Like I said, I don't regret it. But still.) I'm hoping to pay a bit more attention to my habits each day so I can make some small changes that might pay off in the long run. I think the sweets is an important thing to note. Perhaps also it might be better if I could have some more protein at breakfast.
So I suppose something I should work on this week is decreasing the sweets and increasing the fruits and veggies and lean proteins. This is histortically difficult for me - especially if I'm operating in that "i deserve" mindset. I deserve sweets. Well, true. I do. But I also deserve to be healthy and well-fed from a nutritional standpoint. So I guess I'm going to have to start practicing some more fruit-intaking.
My plan for tomorrow is to have protein in the morning, a frozen meal at lunchtime, something small for dessert, a snack of nuts and fruit in the afternoon, and maybe sushi for dinner.
I've already gone over my points for the day today by 5. And I haven't even had dinner yet. My plan is to get something relatively light for dinner - hopefully 8points or less - and then exercise after my rehearsal, reducing some of the damage. Today is the first day of my new week and I really want to get off to a good start, but eating all your points plus five more before 7pm isn't a good start. I think I can clean it up, though, with a little mindfulness.
DAMN YOU SCALE. You get me every fucking time.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Weigh-In Eve
So, it's been another interesting week for me. Up until last night, in fact, I'd had one of the better weeks I'd had in a while in terms of WW. I'd exercised four times, including several cardio sessions that included running, which has been a welcome re-edition to my exercise routine. Best of all, finding ourselves with a few hours to kill yesterday afternoon, Kevin and I ended up meeting at the gym in between activities. We totally motivated each other to do a nice 50 minutes on the treadmill, over 30 of which were running for both of us. This is awesome for him. And for me. But it's a huge achievement for him - he just started exercising two weeks ago.
That workout was particularly great. And my eating all week, although by no means perfect, was better than it had been in weeks prior. I went into last night's birthday dinner for my roommate with a pretty good record for the week. But then we ate and drank to our heart's content and it looks like it'll be another week of using 35 more flex points than I'm allowed. Last night's dinner (including drinks) was 30 points on its own. So...basically...had I not gone to that dinner, I would have had a very OP week. But I wanted to go and I'm glad I went and I wouldn't trade it. So I think that's important to realize. If someone came up to me and said, "You will have a perfect week this week in terms of your healthy lifestyle, but as a tradeoff, you can't go to Daniel's birthday dinner," I would have said HELL no. So. That sheds some nice light on my priorities for me.
I wasn't too torn up about the 30 point meal to begin with. I never am anymore, devastated after I eat something I shouldn't. It's life.
I'm not sure what to expect on the scale at tomorrow's WI. But I don't particularly care. It would be nice to see a loss, but I did so well this week that I'll use that as my yard stick, not the scale.
That workout was particularly great. And my eating all week, although by no means perfect, was better than it had been in weeks prior. I went into last night's birthday dinner for my roommate with a pretty good record for the week. But then we ate and drank to our heart's content and it looks like it'll be another week of using 35 more flex points than I'm allowed. Last night's dinner (including drinks) was 30 points on its own. So...basically...had I not gone to that dinner, I would have had a very OP week. But I wanted to go and I'm glad I went and I wouldn't trade it. So I think that's important to realize. If someone came up to me and said, "You will have a perfect week this week in terms of your healthy lifestyle, but as a tradeoff, you can't go to Daniel's birthday dinner," I would have said HELL no. So. That sheds some nice light on my priorities for me.
I wasn't too torn up about the 30 point meal to begin with. I never am anymore, devastated after I eat something I shouldn't. It's life.
I'm not sure what to expect on the scale at tomorrow's WI. But I don't particularly care. It would be nice to see a loss, but I did so well this week that I'll use that as my yard stick, not the scale.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Cookies, donuts, and how life ain't fair.
I ran again yesterday at the gym. I ran 20 and walked 10. It went by in a flash - as I was just trying to get it over with - and I didn't even realize I'd done it once it was over.
The scale, which I've been avoiding getting on for the last couple days due to PMS, was UP big time this morning. Annoying, but could be any number of things. I'm having an okay week so far.
There was a time when WW wasn't this hard for me. It makes sense - when you first start out on a major weight loss effort, you can tell yourself time and again that it's a "lifestyle change" and that you can never go back to your old, mindless ways. But in those first few weeks/months, somewhere deep in your mind, as you're eating more fruit than you would have ever dared so much as look at in your old life, as you're drinking more water than you think your kidneys can process, as you're going to sleep a little bit hungry each night, you daydream about a day when you can return to eating whole pizzas by yourself and having bags of doritos as a snack. You know it's likely never going to be possible to fully live that way again - and who'd want to. It brought along a great deal of misery. But you still hold on to the possibility that you won't always feel like a rabbit munching away on his leafy greens and carrots, that you might someday again be able to eat a bowl of mac n' cheese on a rainy afternoon with the rest of society and not have to cut off an inch of hair to make up for it on the scale.
And that day DOES eventually come in some form or another. No, you can't eat a whole pizza or a container of general tso's chicken or whatever you want from McDonalds every day. But you eventually get to a place, after you've lost the weight and gained the good habits, where you feel like you can have a donut without feeling like you shouldn't. You know you've earned that donut. You've spent hours and hours, weeks, months, years even, of sweating, counting calories, saying no thank you to sweets during the holidays at work - you've earned a guilt-free donut from time to time.
After almost six years following this plan, I'm at that point with it - and have been for quite some time. I've earned a donut. I used to be FAT. VERY fat. I'm now normal. I can wear clothes that other people wear, I can fit in airplane seats, I can ride rollercoasters, I'm in a happy, healthy relationship with an attractive guy. And I worked hard to get to this place. I worked hard for years. I said no to things I wanted and went to the gym when I would have rather been any place else. I knew while I was losing the weight that if I wanted to maintain it, I'd eventually have to learn to live life without as much restriction as I used to lose it. But I also knew I couldn't get the weight off to begin with if I didn't restrict myself more than I would have if it were really the rest of "forever."
It's now very hard for me to be as restrictive as I used to be. I don't feel like I have some kind of "fat debt" to pay off anymore. When I was in the process of losing the weigh, people would ask me if it was hard to change my eating habits; I used to say, "I've spent years eating everything imaginable. I can stand a few years of eating a little less." It felt like penance almost for my sins. I ruined my body for a long time, I had to pay back a little bit to the health bank. And in turn, I'd get to be thin again. Under that structure, I think I've paid off that fat debt by now. I think I've avoided restaurants and "drinks" out with friends and parties with free food for long enough to have paid off that debt. And now I just want it to all balance out. I want to workout sometimes and eat well sometimes. And I want to do NOTHING sometimes and eat a donut sometimes.
But the one snag in that plan is that still want to lose 15 pounds.
And you can't lose pounds when you're maintaining your weight with the above-mentioned donut balance. Apparently I've yet to get this through my head.
Even though, I'd never been SUPER restrictive, EVER, as I lost my weight, I'd still been more restrictive than felt good at times. But I'm human. And I don't want to do that anymore. I did it for years. That's long enough. So we go this route. This route where I do what I want when I want and work sorta hard but not too hard the rest of the time and hope for the best. And I guess what that amounts to is losing 1 pound a month.
Fine.
Right?
Who knows. It has to be fine. Because it's what is.
That said, I had a bit of a mini-breakdown at the gym yesterday after my short workout. A fat-girl breakdown the likes of which I haven't experienced in quite some time.
I was standing in the locker room checking a text message and I realized I was across from a full-body mirror so I glanced up. Now, maybe it was a fat mirror, maybe I was standing in a really relaxed way (i.e. not sucking in at all), or maybe I was really bloated from my period (sorry boys) or from having just ran/drank a lot of water. But whatever it was, it was not a flattering imagine. And I got very upset. Disgusted almost. I looked around at the other girls in the locker room and felt so alone. They all looked perfect. I thought nothing about how unrealistic I was being or how hard it is to live in a town full of stick-thin models or how far I've come or how I know I look perfectly fine walking through my life day to day. Those positive thoughts, as near your mind as they may be in moments like those, cannot save you from feeling blue when it sneaks up on you like that. I looked in the mirror and I was filled with a familiar, old rage, a helplessness, a feeling of "it's so unfair!" and a feeling of worthlessness. I haven't felt that way in years. Intellectually, I remembered how different my life is now and how unhelpful those feelings are. I also remembered how when I was fat I would soothe those feelings by going straight to Wendys. I haven't done that in years either. But regardless it put a cramp in the rest of my evening. When I looked in the mirror I wanted to punch myself over and over or something else equally destructive for being such a failure. I just felt bad. It was fascinating.
And to think, I used to feel that way almost every second of the day. ..It's amazing to recall, really.
All I can do is to keep working on it. And also, almost more importantly, I have to try to remember that I am not my physical flaws. I can feel good about who I am and what I offer the world (and I do regularly feel good about that) without always feeling good about how I look in jeans.
But that's not an emotional healing that's going to come overnight. I've already come very far with that healing in six years. And the rest of the healing will probably be something I'm working on for the rest of my life. In the meantime, I'm going to eat fewer cookies and see what happens. Ugh.
The scale, which I've been avoiding getting on for the last couple days due to PMS, was UP big time this morning. Annoying, but could be any number of things. I'm having an okay week so far.
There was a time when WW wasn't this hard for me. It makes sense - when you first start out on a major weight loss effort, you can tell yourself time and again that it's a "lifestyle change" and that you can never go back to your old, mindless ways. But in those first few weeks/months, somewhere deep in your mind, as you're eating more fruit than you would have ever dared so much as look at in your old life, as you're drinking more water than you think your kidneys can process, as you're going to sleep a little bit hungry each night, you daydream about a day when you can return to eating whole pizzas by yourself and having bags of doritos as a snack. You know it's likely never going to be possible to fully live that way again - and who'd want to. It brought along a great deal of misery. But you still hold on to the possibility that you won't always feel like a rabbit munching away on his leafy greens and carrots, that you might someday again be able to eat a bowl of mac n' cheese on a rainy afternoon with the rest of society and not have to cut off an inch of hair to make up for it on the scale.
And that day DOES eventually come in some form or another. No, you can't eat a whole pizza or a container of general tso's chicken or whatever you want from McDonalds every day. But you eventually get to a place, after you've lost the weight and gained the good habits, where you feel like you can have a donut without feeling like you shouldn't. You know you've earned that donut. You've spent hours and hours, weeks, months, years even, of sweating, counting calories, saying no thank you to sweets during the holidays at work - you've earned a guilt-free donut from time to time.
After almost six years following this plan, I'm at that point with it - and have been for quite some time. I've earned a donut. I used to be FAT. VERY fat. I'm now normal. I can wear clothes that other people wear, I can fit in airplane seats, I can ride rollercoasters, I'm in a happy, healthy relationship with an attractive guy. And I worked hard to get to this place. I worked hard for years. I said no to things I wanted and went to the gym when I would have rather been any place else. I knew while I was losing the weight that if I wanted to maintain it, I'd eventually have to learn to live life without as much restriction as I used to lose it. But I also knew I couldn't get the weight off to begin with if I didn't restrict myself more than I would have if it were really the rest of "forever."
It's now very hard for me to be as restrictive as I used to be. I don't feel like I have some kind of "fat debt" to pay off anymore. When I was in the process of losing the weigh, people would ask me if it was hard to change my eating habits; I used to say, "I've spent years eating everything imaginable. I can stand a few years of eating a little less." It felt like penance almost for my sins. I ruined my body for a long time, I had to pay back a little bit to the health bank. And in turn, I'd get to be thin again. Under that structure, I think I've paid off that fat debt by now. I think I've avoided restaurants and "drinks" out with friends and parties with free food for long enough to have paid off that debt. And now I just want it to all balance out. I want to workout sometimes and eat well sometimes. And I want to do NOTHING sometimes and eat a donut sometimes.
But the one snag in that plan is that still want to lose 15 pounds.
And you can't lose pounds when you're maintaining your weight with the above-mentioned donut balance. Apparently I've yet to get this through my head.
Even though, I'd never been SUPER restrictive, EVER, as I lost my weight, I'd still been more restrictive than felt good at times. But I'm human. And I don't want to do that anymore. I did it for years. That's long enough. So we go this route. This route where I do what I want when I want and work sorta hard but not too hard the rest of the time and hope for the best. And I guess what that amounts to is losing 1 pound a month.
Fine.
Right?
Who knows. It has to be fine. Because it's what is.
That said, I had a bit of a mini-breakdown at the gym yesterday after my short workout. A fat-girl breakdown the likes of which I haven't experienced in quite some time.
I was standing in the locker room checking a text message and I realized I was across from a full-body mirror so I glanced up. Now, maybe it was a fat mirror, maybe I was standing in a really relaxed way (i.e. not sucking in at all), or maybe I was really bloated from my period (sorry boys) or from having just ran/drank a lot of water. But whatever it was, it was not a flattering imagine. And I got very upset. Disgusted almost. I looked around at the other girls in the locker room and felt so alone. They all looked perfect. I thought nothing about how unrealistic I was being or how hard it is to live in a town full of stick-thin models or how far I've come or how I know I look perfectly fine walking through my life day to day. Those positive thoughts, as near your mind as they may be in moments like those, cannot save you from feeling blue when it sneaks up on you like that. I looked in the mirror and I was filled with a familiar, old rage, a helplessness, a feeling of "it's so unfair!" and a feeling of worthlessness. I haven't felt that way in years. Intellectually, I remembered how different my life is now and how unhelpful those feelings are. I also remembered how when I was fat I would soothe those feelings by going straight to Wendys. I haven't done that in years either. But regardless it put a cramp in the rest of my evening. When I looked in the mirror I wanted to punch myself over and over or something else equally destructive for being such a failure. I just felt bad. It was fascinating.
And to think, I used to feel that way almost every second of the day. ..It's amazing to recall, really.
All I can do is to keep working on it. And also, almost more importantly, I have to try to remember that I am not my physical flaws. I can feel good about who I am and what I offer the world (and I do regularly feel good about that) without always feeling good about how I look in jeans.
But that's not an emotional healing that's going to come overnight. I've already come very far with that healing in six years. And the rest of the healing will probably be something I'm working on for the rest of my life. In the meantime, I'm going to eat fewer cookies and see what happens. Ugh.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
To Run.
I've been really busy at work today but I had to take a break to write briefly about my exercise last night.
I ran for the first time in probably two months. It was really nice. It was HARD. Harder than I ever remember it being. But it was nice.
I used to run all the time. I've never been a race-runner, never trained for a marathon or anything so heroic, but I was a pretty dedicated runner for quite some time nonetheless. I always felt that even though I also love walking as a form of cardio, running always brought my body/mind to an elevated place I couldn't quite achieve with walking or hiking. Not to mention I walk easily 7-10 miles a day in my NYC life as it is. My body's pretty used to the walking. So I looked to running to bring me to a different place that I couldn't get to through other exercise and to make my body, lungs, and heart stronger. All runners will tell you about the meditative state they achieve after a certain amount of time into the run and I always had the same experience. I still feel like I'm in a meditative state during any kind of exercise, but running is slightly different. You're in a zone unlike anything else.
I set out last night to jog to the gym near my apartment because it's a quick jog and it just seemed easier/faster than walking there. I'm not sure why I thought it would be easier, it certainly wasn't. But it was faster and I wanted to elevate my heartrate before my latenight lifting session (went to gym around 10pm). And frankly I just didn't want to spend the time on the treadmill at the gym getting my heartrate up with an incline hike. Running, when I hadn't done so in a couple months, seemed like the sneaky way out of doing more cardio than I wanted to do.
As soon as I started out on the run I was shocked by how difficult it was to move my body like that. I exercise all the time and have been consistent with my exercise for 5 years, not to mention I used to be a runner! But a few months away from it apparently made my body forget entirely. I wasn't bummed out by how difficult it was, I was actually encouraged to get back into the running game, at least every now and again.
When I got to the gym 7 minutes later, it didn't feel like enough. My body was tingling and I was craving more so I hopped on the treadmill and finished out 20 minutes. It was still REALLY hard. The whole time I was on the treadmill the seconds seemed to be passing like molasses and I wanted to quit the moment I started, but I finished the 20 minutes and I'm glad I did. It felt really good. Then I did a nice lifting session and walked home.
I'm not planning to get back up to my hour-long runs anytime soon. I think it might be a bit too hard on my body and I also don't have the time to commit to it. And as I've learned with my running, if you can't commit the time to building up your endurance, it's going to suck every time you start over. But I would like to add back in 10-40 minute stints here and there for a little variety. Not every day. But every once in a while. My body was certainly shocked to be moving in that way again last night and we all know variety is the KEY to effective exercise. ;) We all know that, right?
So that's that. I'll have some time tomorrow night to workout, only about an hour though, so I plan to do some light lifting, some pilates, and 30 minutes of cardio. We'll see how long within that 30 minutes I can run.
I ran for the first time in probably two months. It was really nice. It was HARD. Harder than I ever remember it being. But it was nice.
I used to run all the time. I've never been a race-runner, never trained for a marathon or anything so heroic, but I was a pretty dedicated runner for quite some time nonetheless. I always felt that even though I also love walking as a form of cardio, running always brought my body/mind to an elevated place I couldn't quite achieve with walking or hiking. Not to mention I walk easily 7-10 miles a day in my NYC life as it is. My body's pretty used to the walking. So I looked to running to bring me to a different place that I couldn't get to through other exercise and to make my body, lungs, and heart stronger. All runners will tell you about the meditative state they achieve after a certain amount of time into the run and I always had the same experience. I still feel like I'm in a meditative state during any kind of exercise, but running is slightly different. You're in a zone unlike anything else.
I set out last night to jog to the gym near my apartment because it's a quick jog and it just seemed easier/faster than walking there. I'm not sure why I thought it would be easier, it certainly wasn't. But it was faster and I wanted to elevate my heartrate before my latenight lifting session (went to gym around 10pm). And frankly I just didn't want to spend the time on the treadmill at the gym getting my heartrate up with an incline hike. Running, when I hadn't done so in a couple months, seemed like the sneaky way out of doing more cardio than I wanted to do.
As soon as I started out on the run I was shocked by how difficult it was to move my body like that. I exercise all the time and have been consistent with my exercise for 5 years, not to mention I used to be a runner! But a few months away from it apparently made my body forget entirely. I wasn't bummed out by how difficult it was, I was actually encouraged to get back into the running game, at least every now and again.
When I got to the gym 7 minutes later, it didn't feel like enough. My body was tingling and I was craving more so I hopped on the treadmill and finished out 20 minutes. It was still REALLY hard. The whole time I was on the treadmill the seconds seemed to be passing like molasses and I wanted to quit the moment I started, but I finished the 20 minutes and I'm glad I did. It felt really good. Then I did a nice lifting session and walked home.
I'm not planning to get back up to my hour-long runs anytime soon. I think it might be a bit too hard on my body and I also don't have the time to commit to it. And as I've learned with my running, if you can't commit the time to building up your endurance, it's going to suck every time you start over. But I would like to add back in 10-40 minute stints here and there for a little variety. Not every day. But every once in a while. My body was certainly shocked to be moving in that way again last night and we all know variety is the KEY to effective exercise. ;) We all know that, right?
So that's that. I'll have some time tomorrow night to workout, only about an hour though, so I plan to do some light lifting, some pilates, and 30 minutes of cardio. We'll see how long within that 30 minutes I can run.
I forgot to add! My boyfriend started working out!! This is hugely great news for several reasons:
1. He hasn't actively exercised in years and I worry about his health because I'm a nice jewish mother. I can already notice a difference in his moods and sleep habits.
2. When he didn't work out it was hard for me to gather up the motivation to go myself as often as I want to. "If he's not doing it, why should I be?" I'd usually go anyway, but sometimes I wouldn't. It's so much easier to suck it up now that I feel like he can relate.
3. It's something new and fun we can do together. It's so rewarding to be able to both work towards certain goals and feel like we can support each other and share in the activity itself and the healthy lifestyle as a whole. We don't workout together all the time, he's been going by himself sometimes too, but when we go together it's fun.
4. I feel a little bit competitive with him, the newbie, about how much he's exercising. I've actually gotten up off my ass and headed to the gym on several occassions in the last week when I might not have if he hadn't already gone to the gym that day. The jerk. ;)
So all in all, it's a good thing and a nice positive addition to my healthy lifestyle pursuits. It's been a lovely change of pace. I told him he can't overdo it, burn out in a month, and quit on me, because I can't go back to doing it all alone. I know he won't though.
1. He hasn't actively exercised in years and I worry about his health because I'm a nice jewish mother. I can already notice a difference in his moods and sleep habits.
2. When he didn't work out it was hard for me to gather up the motivation to go myself as often as I want to. "If he's not doing it, why should I be?" I'd usually go anyway, but sometimes I wouldn't. It's so much easier to suck it up now that I feel like he can relate.
3. It's something new and fun we can do together. It's so rewarding to be able to both work towards certain goals and feel like we can support each other and share in the activity itself and the healthy lifestyle as a whole. We don't workout together all the time, he's been going by himself sometimes too, but when we go together it's fun.
4. I feel a little bit competitive with him, the newbie, about how much he's exercising. I've actually gotten up off my ass and headed to the gym on several occassions in the last week when I might not have if he hadn't already gone to the gym that day. The jerk. ;)
So all in all, it's a good thing and a nice positive addition to my healthy lifestyle pursuits. It's been a lovely change of pace. I told him he can't overdo it, burn out in a month, and quit on me, because I can't go back to doing it all alone. I know he won't though.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
I haven't written because I haven't had much to say that seems noteworthy.
But here's an update:
Things were going very well in this regard before we went to Florida. Things are still going okay.
Florida was lovely - I certainly ate and drank more than I'd hoped to, but less than I could have, for sure. I was relatively restrained at almost every meal. I also exercised a lot while we were there! That was a big victory. I did a nice long session at the resort's gym one day, a walk on the beach another day, and a pilates class too. It was really nice and I was proud of myself for doing that. We got lots of sun and I felt pretty refreshed when we returned.
It was a bit difficult to jump back onto the healthy eating bandwagon when I got back to New York. Not impossible, but a bit difficult. I definitely overate a bit the week after the vacation too. This past week things were back to normal a bit.
I'm still eating over my flex points each and every single week like clock work. Some weeks it's 23 points over, one week (vacation week) it was closer to 50. 25-30 is the norm. That's that many points OVER my flex.
I'm not sure what this is about. There was a time when I could eat 35 flex points and no more each week without trouble. Granted, I almost always went 2-8 over, but nothing like 30. And that's the norm now.
Like I've mentioned before, exercise is going well. I have been earning 8-12 APs most weeks since January 1. I am extremely conservative with how many APs I call the workouts I do. I used to really over-estimate, I think, and what's the point of working out if I just gobble all those calories back up. So I'm conservative. For me, the 8-12 APs are 3-4 good workouts a week. I'm satisified with that.
So it's really just the extra eating I've got to work on. And as we all know, that takes time.
Today marks three months to the day since I started this challenge for myself back in January. I've lost 4 pounds (as of today - which I think is high from PMS, but that's the number we'll call it) total in these three months. It's really not great. But it's not bad. Same ol'. I do desire very much to put a larger dent in things, but practice makes progress and that's really all I can do.
It's very interesting to look back over the numbers of these last three months and see how consistently I eat each week, even if it's consistenly "over" my points. I'm a queen at weight maintenance. And lucky for me (and not lucky for my scale) I have a boyfriend who adores me and doesn't care if i never lose another pound. Great. Thanks a lot, Kev. ;)
So, like every day, like every Tuesday, like the beginning of every month, I have a chance to start over and work to keep things under control.
I've eaten all my points so far today and it's only 7pm. I splurged on Pad Thai at lunch. But that's okay. I'll go workout after work and have something very light for dinner. Sweets are the death of me lately. I can't get enough. Perhaps I can find a lo-fat option at the grocery store. I know I can. It's just choosing to do it.
But here's an update:
Things were going very well in this regard before we went to Florida. Things are still going okay.
Florida was lovely - I certainly ate and drank more than I'd hoped to, but less than I could have, for sure. I was relatively restrained at almost every meal. I also exercised a lot while we were there! That was a big victory. I did a nice long session at the resort's gym one day, a walk on the beach another day, and a pilates class too. It was really nice and I was proud of myself for doing that. We got lots of sun and I felt pretty refreshed when we returned.
It was a bit difficult to jump back onto the healthy eating bandwagon when I got back to New York. Not impossible, but a bit difficult. I definitely overate a bit the week after the vacation too. This past week things were back to normal a bit.
I'm still eating over my flex points each and every single week like clock work. Some weeks it's 23 points over, one week (vacation week) it was closer to 50. 25-30 is the norm. That's that many points OVER my flex.
I'm not sure what this is about. There was a time when I could eat 35 flex points and no more each week without trouble. Granted, I almost always went 2-8 over, but nothing like 30. And that's the norm now.
Like I've mentioned before, exercise is going well. I have been earning 8-12 APs most weeks since January 1. I am extremely conservative with how many APs I call the workouts I do. I used to really over-estimate, I think, and what's the point of working out if I just gobble all those calories back up. So I'm conservative. For me, the 8-12 APs are 3-4 good workouts a week. I'm satisified with that.
So it's really just the extra eating I've got to work on. And as we all know, that takes time.
Today marks three months to the day since I started this challenge for myself back in January. I've lost 4 pounds (as of today - which I think is high from PMS, but that's the number we'll call it) total in these three months. It's really not great. But it's not bad. Same ol'. I do desire very much to put a larger dent in things, but practice makes progress and that's really all I can do.
It's very interesting to look back over the numbers of these last three months and see how consistently I eat each week, even if it's consistenly "over" my points. I'm a queen at weight maintenance. And lucky for me (and not lucky for my scale) I have a boyfriend who adores me and doesn't care if i never lose another pound. Great. Thanks a lot, Kev. ;)
So, like every day, like every Tuesday, like the beginning of every month, I have a chance to start over and work to keep things under control.
I've eaten all my points so far today and it's only 7pm. I splurged on Pad Thai at lunch. But that's okay. I'll go workout after work and have something very light for dinner. Sweets are the death of me lately. I can't get enough. Perhaps I can find a lo-fat option at the grocery store. I know I can. It's just choosing to do it.
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