Shifts

That's my friend Daniel and me on New Year's Eve.

Anyway, I just had an unexpected snack consisting of leftover Chipotle tortilla chips. They were yummy, salty, and slightly flavored with lime. It may not have been the best snack choice, considering I have an apple and a banana sitting on my desk right now, but...whatevuh.

Kevin and I had a date last night. Asian food. So yummy. We go to this place called FriendHouse that we just love. They have sushi, Thai, and Chinese food and they do it all equally well. We ordered a few different sushi rolls, some edamame, some chicken with spicy garlic sauce and mixed veggies, and sake. It was very delicious. I possibly overate a bit. But, what can ya do. We had great, energetic conversation about some major shifts that are happening in our lives. It was nice.

He adorably showed up to meet up with me with two new DVDs for us - House, Season 4 (I'm currently beyond obsessed with House) and The Office (British version of course!), which we've both seen but are excited to see again. So we headed straight home after dinner to snuggle in and watch an episode from each.

I could barely keep my eyes open near the end of the second episode. So I excused myself to bed and fell instantly to sleep. The cat woke me up ridiculously early this morning on more than one occasion so I still feel tired despite getting a good 8.5 hours.

I ate some sweets when I got home last night. Not necessary. But it happened. I am still finding my groove after vacation. So I'm not surprised that there have been a few stumbles along the way. It will all iron itself out in good time.

I woke up in a grumpy mood this morning. I decided to sleep a bit longer rather than do my yoga, which is good and bad. The sleep was nice, but he yoga really helps me not only to feel more physically relaxed and centered throughout the day but it also helps me not be such a raving bitch inside my own head about the world around me. ;)

Work is not great today. I have a personal problem with a couple of the really brash personalities here. And lucky for me, I sit right near both of them, can hear them talking (yelling) all day long, and am unavoidably exposed to their stress/psychosis levels all day long. It's impossible not to absorb some of that energy when you're near it for 8 hours in a row. People do that, you know, absorb and can intuitively sense each other's energy even if they don't realize they're doing it. Women do it more than men, science says. We subconsciously "mirror" each other, as a highly intuitive way to communicate and relate to one another, so that we can sense danger or need in the world around us. But it can also work against us, like when someone you work with is a fucking nutcase.

One of the women in particular is off her rocker. I've probably written about her before. And I'll probably write a book about her some day. She's a long list of ugly adjectives that I probably shouldn't share because I've either shared them before, or because I, more importantly, don't need to work myself up into a fit over it. But let's just say, her personality is really difficult for me to be around. And I find myself literally having to breathe through it daily. Like, she says stuff that gets so under my skin on the regular, treats people with such ire, disrespect, and bitterness, while always playing the martyr, that my newest solution is to simply breathe, focus on my breath, and remind myself to feel sorry for her rather than rail against her inside my own head. Which is, as the saying goes "like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."

It's tough to remind myself to breathe through her nonsense. But it has actually made a small difference from time to time. Because before the New Year (a resolution of mine is to practice more compassion and patience), my coping mechanism in 2008 for situations like this was to basically just run through a litany of nastiness in my mind, calling the subject of my rage nasty names, saying biting, sarcastic things under my breath, rolling my eyes, huffing and puffing, and complaining to whoever would listen when I got the chance. So I think I'm much better off trying to calm myself down and remind myself that I'm only making myself sick when I become infuriated by someone else's illness.

(All that nobly said, this bitch makes me want to put my - and her - head through a fucking glass wall.)

PHEW. >Breathes in and out.< Ahhhhh.....

In other news, Kevin, my darling boyfriend, just accepted a new job! He left his last job, Executive Producer of a post-production house for television commercials, in 2007. He spent 7 years at that job (and 5 at an equally intense job before that one) and it exhausted him to no end. He finally left it two summers ago to make some time and space in his life for other things, most specifically, his mental wellness and sense of self outside the workplace.

He has spent the last year and a half doing just that. He's occasionally freelanced as a producer during this time (as he's very well respected and well liked in his industry), and he's also booked voiceover jobs (he's done the voices on a couple national commercials that I'm sure you've all seen), acting jobs, and done a ton of performing with his improv group. He's also done a great deal of stuff with my sketch group - he's invaluable to us in his tireless and helpful efforts. He's also done lots of shooting, directing, and editing of comedy shorts and films. It's been impressive to watch this man unfold himself in this way; after 12 years of constant career building, he's focused on what he wanted rather than what he thought he should do, and he's had a very rich experience doing so. I remain so proud of him throughout all of it.

It has been challenging at times, of course. Not knowing what would happen next has been equally scary and freeing for him. But he's been such a soldier throughout it all, trusting above all else that staying open to what's possible would bring the next thing and the next thing into his life, without fail.

He decided at the end of this past November that he wanted to look for a full time job again. This economy makes it tough to know how stable freelance work will be in the coming months. And he's also just ready for a change of pace. He's been his own boss, had his own schedule, and done his own thing for the last 18 months. And now he's looking forward to going back to the workin' world to try to marry the two lifestyles.

Of course, that can also be scary. But he's accepted a great job that will be perfect for this time in his life, I think. In fact, he originally turned this job down but they called him back and really sweetened the deal - they just had to have him! His proud girlfriend loves that of course. ;) He's going to use this new experience to practice striking a better work/life balance. And one of the best parts about this position is how open they are to him having a life outside work. They've basically given him the go ahead to continue to pursue his artistic and creative interests as much as he wants to in order to feel fulfilled. That was part of the "sweetened" deal. So he will be making his own schedule in order to support that. The guy who hired him has been awesome about respecting who Kevin his outside what he does to earn a paycheck. I love that.

So that's a big shift that is about to happen in our lives.

I'm excited for him. And beyond how it will change his world, I will no longer be able to send him an urgent email asking that he set the DVR to record something! ;) Plus, our laundry won't be done nearly as often (nor with the incredible skill and patience). And our cats won't have their dad home with them most days. But he will also be getting up with me in the mornings (yaaay!) and maybe even traveling into the city with me for work.

Me and my needs aside, I think this is gonna be a really good thing for him. He's looking forward to it, I think, and itchy to get started. He's going in to sign the contract on Monday and will likely go into the office a little bit next week, slowly ramping up into his new life! I can't believe it. :) It's always nice to know that your income is stable and that you have a new routine to invest in.

What else - I didn't work out yesterday, consciously. I needed a day off. Plus, I expected to be pretty sore from some new leg stuff I'd done at the gym earlier in the week, but I wasn't. And then, I woke up this morning barely able to walk. Ha. Typical. I'm going to go to the gym tonight after work for a long cardio session and some ab and upper body work, so it should be all good.

I'm taking a "me" night tonight. Kevin's planning to go see an improv show (a really really good one that I love going to see) and then he's going to perform in a show of his own. Normally I'd happy to spend the night out with him, doing both of these things with perhaps some dinner somewhere in between. But I decided early in the week that I'd be taking the night off tonight. I need it. This week, my first back after vacation, has been a whirlwind, and even though it feels as though I've been back at work for at least a month already, I'm still in a bit of a tailspin from the last few weeks overall. I need to be alone and decompress tonight, before my busy weekend.

So I'll gym it tonight for as luxuriously long as my little heart desires, maybe even throw some sauna time in, since it's frigid here today. And then I'll go home, scare up some supper, and probably settle into my couch with a glass of wine and a House episode. I predict an early bedtime. :) Love it.

Tomorrow we might go see Kevin's family in the suburbs. But it's supposed to snow so that plan might get rainchecked for a better weather day. If we DO go see them, we'll also make a stop at the huge mall near their house. Kevin needs some new clothes for work and I need a new backpack, new running shoes, a cast iron skillet, new bras, and new jeans! Wahooo!!! The trip might not happen at all though. We'll see.

Then Saturday night is the HST show, and Sunday are auditions for the 2009 "house teams" at the theater where we do improv. Kevin and I are both already on house teams, but every January they re-audition the current players, audition new players, and decide if they're going to cut teams, take people off teams, add people to teams, create new teams, etc. So it's a bit of wait-n-see. I'm hoping my improv group, The Baldwins, remains together, but you never know. So that will be Sunday. I hope to get to the grocery store at some point this weekend too. We need it. We got NOTHIN'.

I am having to pull my own teeth out to get myself to do any work today. I just don't feel like it. Showing up here each morning for the last five days has been effort enough, I think. So I'll probably do whatever tasks I have to in order to make Monday bearable, and spend the rest of the day daydreaming about the Florida beach house I'll own someday. ;)