The point is, she's married. And it's fascinating to me. I'm not entirely sure why her being married is that much more interesting to me than anyone else in the office being married. I'm sure it's partially because she's my age and very few people I know who're my age are married, so I'm captivated by her commitment level. It's also probably because I work pretty closely with her, so I'm privvy to more of the mundane little details of her marriage...like how often he calls...and what cutsie names she calls him...and little anecdotes about married life, all of which add up to give me a (likely quite warped) outsider's perspective on the whole deal.
Please note that the following is most certainly not a judgment on this lovely young woman at all: I can safely say that hearing her talk about being married, and "her husband," and "we" sometimes makes me want to become a "we" even less than I already do.
It's not that I don't want to get married. I do. (No pun.) It's that, at this point in my constantly developing sense of conscious, adult reality, getting married makes me want to barf on your face. And not in a good way.
Whenever she says "we" it makes me shiver a little. Perhaps I'm about to alienate all potential suitors with this statement, but the idea of being a "we" forever and always from age twenty-something onward is possibly one of the more depressing ideas I can imagine. I'm not even sure why that is. I guess it's because I'm pretty sure that that stuff doesn't last nowadays, so why jump into the inevitable end of my own happiness?
All of you reading this who're married, about to get married, or currently dating the person you imagine you'll marry are shaking your head at my naive, unfortunate, loveless perspective on the world, aren't you?
Well that's just FINE. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go take an improv class.
3 comments:
Well I may be a bit cynical since I never waited for the right person and married way to young, but in the end I think its all about whether or not you want to deal with that special someone's emotional baggage and mental shit for the rest of your life. (looks up and to the left.. am I a bit cyncial? lol)
It's interesting to read this because while I've never tied my identity to the burning need or desire to get married, I've always assumed that I'd do it, and that it was just a matter of finding the right person. I'm not afraid of it, the commitment doesn't bother me, and I find that I'm my best self when I have somebody to share it with -- somebody who reflects back at me my actions, moods, interests, ideas, etc.
that said, I've been living with Chris for 2 years now, together 3, and we basically ARE married -- and although i'm not in a huge hurry, I'm READY. Mostly because, (eek, scary) I am very ready to have kids. I mean, in the next 5 years ready.
I find that I speak in "we'isms" a lot, and I try not to do that too much -- you CAN lose a lot of your individuality in a relationship, especially if you are not conscious about your desire to maintain it. I think this year in particular chris and I have both made a conscious effort to spend more time doing things independently from one another -- cultivating our own friendships singly, and but then coming back together in the end.
I've found that time apart makes me appreciate time together all the more. :-)
It's interesting to read this because while I've never tied my identity to the burning need or desire to get married, I've always assumed that I'd do it, and that it was just a matter of finding the right person. I'm not afraid of it, the commitment doesn't bother me, and I find that I'm my best self when I have somebody to share it with -- somebody who reflects back at me my actions, moods, interests, ideas, etc.
that said, I've been living with Chris for 2 years now, together 3, and we basically ARE married -- and although i'm not in a huge hurry, I'm READY. Mostly because, (eek, scary) I am very ready to have kids. I mean, in the next 5 years ready.
I find that I speak in "we'isms" a lot, and I try not to do that too much -- you CAN lose a lot of your individuality in a relationship, especially if you are not conscious about your desire to maintain it. I think this year in particular chris and I have both made a conscious effort to spend more time doing things independently from one another -- cultivating our own friendships singly, and but then coming back together in the end.
I've found that time apart makes me appreciate time together all the more. :-)
Post a Comment