update this, keith

temp job, sketch group, improv, gym, therapy, home playing with cat, at kevin's playing with cat - that's been the bulk of it...

I saw Ricky Gervais do standup this past weekend, which was a lifetime highlight. And we performed at a bar mitzvah, another highlight.

On Saturday morning at 6am HST leaves for Charleston for one week. We'll drive the 15 hours down in a fifteen passenger van and perform seven lives shows, two radio shows, and make an appearance on the local morning news. This. Is hilarious to me. And wonderful. It will be fun. Then we come back to New York and do Sketch Fest the following Thursday. It's a busy time. I'm enjoying it.

I wish I had some other insight to share relating to anything. My brain feels like mush; perhaps this office job has been the true brain drain I anticipated it would be. I know entire days have passed that I can't account for.

Truth be told, I've felt off kilter for a few days. Something felt eerie today. That's the right word for it. I haven't had my phone for three days, I left it at Billy's, and you'd think this would be maddening, and it is, but it's also just. fine.

These guys :)

INTERNEEEEEEEEEET!!

Hi! Hi Internet! Hi! >pants, looks around< It's nice to be here.

Soooooooo, after my really confident, capable-sounding post about my wonderful new career as a temporpary office employee I landed an AWFUL temp job.

It's fine.

I can deal with it.

It's only for eight more days.

Pardon all the italics. Apparently I've been feeling stifled.

So, I can't use the internet at the new job (!), and I sit in a big room with lots of computers in it, and stained chairs, and whoa, this blows, all alone, no windows, and no talks to me or knows my name and I complete the same series of seven clicks of the mouse - over and over and over and over ad infinitum for approximately six hours long each day. The same seven clicks. Do you understand? So it's a little maddening.

And I schedule my bathroom breaks and look forward to the next song on the ipod shuffle like I'm a dog and it's Pavlov.

I'm getting through it, tho. But it's making me bonkers. I'll be going running tonight. You couldn't pay me not to.

Tick tick.

(re)arrangements...

I'm a temp now. That's my job. That's my lifestyle. I'm temping. It's officially official. I've had back to back gigs since I started temping in December. That's four jobs in a row. This is no longer a stopgap thing until I find something better. It's working out pretty well, and although the two temp agencies I'm signed up with are calling me pretty regularly with positions, two of these jobs I've had in the last few months were actually gigs I landed myself - a friend needed a favor in one situation, and in the other, I was referred to the position (by a sweet lamb) and just happened to follow-up at the right time, it seems. There's something nice about feeling in control of my destiny in that way.

I was musing a month or two ago about whether or not I could actually make this temp lifestyle work long-term in the way I need it to, as opposed to just using it as a stopgap between more career-path-oriented day jobs. I do NOT want to have a career-path-oriented day job, I never have. It's one thing to know that about myself, but it's another thing to finally accept it and quit judging myself for it. But I'm doing it - it's certainly taking some adjustment, but it's working out better than I anticipated and I'm doing it. Frankly, it feels really "right" to honor the creative-career life I've been slowly building for myself for the last couple years. And I'm now officially working a day job for no other reason than to afford my after-hours lifestyle, which involves, among other endeavors, putting in a ton of hours with HST. Things are going swimmingly for us, as usual (we're some lucky jerks), and a more permanent day job arrangement would not, in fact, be worthwhile for me right now. Strange that that's what's real, but it is. I have to take too many days/weeks off for travel with the team to commit to a permanent employer.



(photo by: The Man)

There are lots of perks to this temp set-up: varied work environments; days, even weeks, off at a time when I need to; I don't have to "invest" in some organziation I'm supposed to pretend to really believe in (which was always the most miserable part of the permanent office job experience for me - faking it); new people and situations all the time.

There are also, I'm discovering, some....not-perks: you never really get to know anyone you're working with, nor they you; you never know what to expect, so some jobs you take suck; the pay and the hours can vary a lot; the job I'm currently on sucks huge youknowwhats and I want to poke my eyes out over it. I'm not being dramatic, it bloughs. BUT GUESS WHAT. IT'S ONLY FOR THREE WEEKS! I've had annoying jobs before and I can do anything for three weeks. Best of all, they don't have to like me, and I already know I don't like them. Sweet.




p.s. I just now realized that when you update this ticker thing, it automatically updates itself in all the places you've posted it previously too. I'm not sure I care for that, but I'm not sure how to change it. I'm also not sure anyone but me would even notice/care...No wait, I am sure - no one but me will notice/care. :)

Monday.

I have the day off today. I've needed this. I slept til 12:17pm today (thanks you, Kev) and now I'm going to get breakfast. :) I'm gonna workout, do a little laundry, and exercise. Tonight I have therapy and improv practice.

We filmed on Long Island all day yesterday. It was a really long day but we got a lot done and I was pretty lucky to get to sit around and relax for a lot of the day. Other people were working the entire time.

We opened our new show on Saturday night. It went super well. More on that later.

I need this day off. I have tomorrow off too, most likely. I need that day off too. I need to be completely alone for at least a few hours. I can't remember the last time................

boring exercise content. avoid like the plague if you know what's good for you.

Alright, okay, so here's the thing. I used to have this weight loss blog, right? Some of you who read this blog might have originally read that blog and navigated here from there. Others of you, thank god, will never read that blog. It served its purpose during the time I wrote it, but there came a time when I needed to stop putting so much daily, written focus on my weight loss effort. So I retired the ol' gal and I'm glad I did. Blogging about whateverthehell suits me better now.

That said, when I had that blog it was sometimes helpful when achieving certain goals to be accountable each day to the almighty internet. And as we enter into May, I've given myself a goal of 5 workouts per week for the month. That translates to 22 workouts, some of which will be cardio, some of which will be a mix of - eh, you get the idea, you don't need the details. Anyway, my friend Jess, whose weight-loss related blog I've read almost since she began writing it, has inspired me to use the almighty internet to my advantage once again by tracking my exercise efforts here. Jess uses her blog much to her advantage in that respect, and I stole the ticker idea from her, and I admire the time she takes to keep track of these things for herself, so I'm gonna take a page out of her book (blog) and give it a go...

Since I started losing weight (I lost 100 pounds between approximately 2002 and 2004), exercise has been enjoyable for me for the most part. I started out walking and hiking and then, after a few years, I slowly graduated to long distance runs and regular weight lifting with some pilates thrown in for good measure. It worked. And after getting to a weight that made me comfortable and ultimately attempting to shift my focus from losing weight to just living a regular life, my exercise stayed pretty strong for quite some time. However, it has become less of a priority in the last few months - as I become a famous comedy celebrity. ;) Kidding. Anyway, the POINT IS, I'm gettin back in the game this month because even if one isn't trying to lose 100 pounds, one still needs to maintain one's girlish figure. Plus, it feels oh so very good to be fit and two or three workouts a week, or sometimes one or none (!) is not enough for a bathing suit.

Rain

That's Clayton and me.

My dear friend Randy fixed my computer. I'm sitting in my own bedroom typing on my own computer. I have unlimited access to my itunes, my email, my photos, my everything else and hallelujah. I owe him a six pack, for sure.

My sweet kitten is sleeping peacefully on my bed. And I'm feeling better than I was this afternoon. Some exercise did the trick. And two posts in one day! What's this?

Something that's really quite lovely, I realized on my run in the rain tonight, is that I'm genuinely pretty happy lately. I still get down and blue and I'm still a little bit of a wackadoo, but I've been sort of at peace in this nice way, lately. The lows haven't gotten low in a while. This is progress, of some sort. And I will take it.

Grouch

I lost my wallet.

And she finally deleted me as her myspace friend today, which is sad in a way I didn't expect it to be.

I finished my serial killer book.

I feel grouchy and there's not a good reason for it.

Randy might fix my computer tonight. If he does, I'll charge my ipod and go workout. Even if he doesn't, I'll go workout. This idea does not stimulate me.

I feel kinda brain dead and there's not a good reason for it.

I've been doing data entry this afternoon that makes my mind numb.

Sometimes I get really sick and tired of watching what I eat.

I'm not looking forward to my show tomorrow night. I feel like I've run out of good ideas.

I LOST MY WALLET waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I think someone slipped it out of my bag on the subway. waaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

(update: I found my wallet.)

up to speed...

Wednesday night Kevin had a show and we all went out afterwards.
Thursday night I saw a show Daniel directed and then went to Unos Pizzeria and overate.
Friday morning I got up at 6am to drive to Vermont with HST where we did a show, ate, drank, were merry, and slept in hotel beds.
Saturday, after shopping and brunching and ordering a Vermonster at Ben & Jerrys of which I only had four bites because I have to put on a bathing suit in a month, damnyou, we drove the seven hours home and played many car games on the way.
Sunday I lounged around at Kevin's house and read 200 pages of a book I bought about a serial killer.
Today I'm working at my old music law firm job.
I have a pesky cough that makes my chest hurt and reading about killers is a good way to lose sleep.
I love cats. All cats. Name a cat, I love it. Please do not ever harm cats. Like this serial killer did.

FAME AND FORTUNE

Harvard Sailing Team has discovered that TWO of our new videos were put up on the myspace home page in the last couple weeks. This is very exciting. You know those random four videos on www.myspace.com that show up even before you login to your own profile - they change every day and they're always little shorts that myspace has randomly pulled off people's profiles? Yup. Last week Clayton and Sara's Closet Light sketch got 75,000 views! And they put another HST video up there today, except this time I'M in it!! It's called Kickball. Go watch it. Then send me checks. I'll clear out some room in my bank account for the windfall I'm expecting. ;)

(I realize that in the grand scheme of things this is not that big of a deal, but just let me have my moment. I'll be over it by noon.)

it's 12:27 of the midnight hour

Daniel and I are sitting on the couch harmonizing and he's flossing his teeth. The cat is sitting in the window and looking out, presumably, for his white cat friend. They had a row Saturday night, Floyd and the white cat, and it was drama. Floyd's a man of the evening. I respect that.

I had a show tonight, it was fun. I worked out today, it was excellent. I plan to do it again tomorrow, it will be good. It's been really warm out, I love that. I saw some radical and famous improv tonight and it was hilarious and I'm a lucky girl that I live in this town and get to see and do shit like that. Magic. I plan to go to sleep momentarily, and that will be really nice. I had a pretty good day at work today too.

My allergies are acting up big time. Everything's itchy and irritated. I can't wait to take these contacts out. Night.

YOU SUCK, GUNS. I HATE YOU.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/04/18/commentary.plate/index.html

I couldn't agree more with this article. (I will make it a link later today, this computer won't let me.)

I'm not a very political person, generally believing that I'm relatively too under-educated with regard to much of the issues that swirl in and around the political realm to form a reasonably supported opinion about stuff. But I responded to this editorial (there's an "email us" button at the bottom of the page) with a long diatribe about how and why I agree, because I do agree. Not to mention, this isn't really a political issue so much as it's an ethical one. And I've never responded to an editorial in my LIFE. But good, GOD. Get rid of the guns, America. It's fucking common sense and any human being with an ounce of logic and a shred of humanity can see that.

Comedians, all of us...

...even the photog.

Dear Mom,

Don't open mail that comes to your house for me. I know I haven't lived there in almost ten years, but you can still just as easily drop the UNOPENED envelope into the mail and send it to me in New York and save yourself the agony of wondering what this bill means, which I know is keeping you up at night, you goose. Seriously. Don't open it. It's a federal offense. And I don't know why they still have your address.

I love you.

Love,
Your daughter who has a different relationship with money than the one you wish she had but she's a grown woman and it's no longer your concern.

p.s. Note to self: Call and have that mailing address changed, asap.

I guess I don't really know how to use macs.

How the hell do you right click on something? I'd so be posting an hilarious photo right now (because Keith is a wizard) if I could just figure out how to save the bugger onto the ol' desktop. Alas.

Sooooo I'm temping at the new gig. Not bad atall. In fact, we worked some yesterday but today has been DEAD - something about some files not being ready or whatever. I'm making nice bank for this bullshit. And everyone comes in super late every day. I suppose I shouldn't knock it. This is a wonderful institution and I hope to be taking advantage of their lack of organization and office-hours-as-gentle-guideline-or-suggestion for weeks to come.

I'm trying to be good, lately. That means a buncha stuff. But just interpret as you'd like.

We had Thai last night in Park Slope. And I picked up a piece of the garlic shrimp that I'd already eaten most of and pressed it between my fingers, trying to squeeze the last little bit of shrimpy yum yum out of its tail before I cast it aside. And like a scene right out of Pretty Woman, that little shit shrimp tail popped right out of my fingers and flew several feet into the air, hitting the woman next to me. Yikes. And we'd JUST been talking about how I'm a clutz and a risk taker. Whatever. I like to do stuff fast and without thought. Everybody should! ;)

Here's the main thing...and I think about this probably once a day: any single one of us could die at any moment...any FUCKING MOMENT. In an instant. And that's the saddest thing I can imagine. Because we sure spend a lot of time complaining about our jobs and our social dramas and our landlords and the subway. So silly.

Not sure exactly why but today's a pretty good day.

Despite the rotten rainy blech blech outside, this day is a pretty good one. I'm not sure why, but I'll take it! Right?

1.) Sarah's a wonderful person and she referred me to a posting she saw about a temp assignment starting soon. I applied last week, I interviewed today, and I booked it before I left their building. I start on Monday. Nice. It's only for a couple weeks, but they want me for a more permanent position - it almost sounds like I just have to say yay or nay and the fulltime gig is mine! Hi, health insurance? You taste yummy. But we'll see. I want to focus on my comedy stuff, so we'll see....The temp portion pays pretty well and I have another gig lined up for the week after this one ends. As Sarah said to me yesterday, "There's plenty of work to be had in this town." Agreed. (Sadly, I might have to do a bit of fibbing to be able to take both temp jobs, as one might end up overlapping with the other...but when has that stopped me.)

2.) Look! We put up new videos! Oh they're funny stuff. Kevin really helped us out by having his guys do editing and sound stuff on these new videos, so they look awesome.

3.) I think I'm finding that life, this year anyway, is a lot about balancing the personalities of a bunch of different people at one time. Social environments are all around us and interacting with others is part of the job description. Everyone's different. Some people have the same world view as you, some have the exact opposite, some aren't even working within the same operating system. It's easy to get furious. It's worth it to get zen. I'll let you know when I finally finish the magic elixir that solves this bugger of a challenge.

4.) Waking up this morning was niiiice. It was all rainy out and I was all warm. I've always liked Thursdays. Always. When I was a kid I had day of the week underpants and Thursdays were the best pair. They had dark lilac colored hearts on them. Excuse me, but that's basically my idea of perfect panties.

5.) I had a nice time at the bar last night, left at a reasonable hour, and wasn't drunk at all. Sweet.

6.) I love my friends. They are all really wonderful, smart, funny, loving people.*

* No, I have not recently taken any ectasy. Can't I just be manically jovial? ;)

plus!

This is so cool of him!

coming out

1. I'm seeing someone. There. Now you all know. Surprise!

2. My boss at my temp job, which ends on Friday, just told me he's been unhappy with my work the entire time I've been here. He said that it doesn't matter now because my (and his) last day is Friday, but he thinks that telling me is a respectful gesture toward me..... It didn't feel that respectful. But okay. He said, "You operate in a different world than I do." Yup. I think I'm gonna embrace that and take it as a compliment.

3. I sometimes have a lot of nagging guilt about things that I can't control...and guilt about things I can control...and that reminds me that my cat hasn't eaten breakfast yet and it's 11:40am. Shit.

4. I plan to exercise tonight. I don't want to exercise tonight. I still plan to.

5. I'm not cut out for office work.

bits

I kinda hate that last post now. It was a bit grouchy. But I'm not gonna take it down because then it's like I'm being a chicken. I'M NOT A CHICKEN YOU JERKS.

Ahem.

Okay, so hiiiiiii. I'm working at my OLD job today. I used to work at a music law firm - about a year and a half ago - and I'm back here today filling in for someone who's out. It's cool to be back in the same environment that was my day-to-day reality almost two years ago. Sort of a rare experience, really. And a lot has changed in these last two years, all for the better, really. It's very cool to be able to check back in in this way. And I have some nice memories of awesome stuff that started in my life when I was at this job, stuff that's still around now in bigger and better ways. I joined Harvard Sailing Team when I was at this job. A lot has happened since then.

I'm looking forward to the nice relaxing weekend. A birthday tonight, a show tomorrow night, and then Sunday = nothing at alllll. Easter Sunday and I think I'll just lay low and do easy breezy stuff with somebody I like. :o)

Sometimes women are scary and mean when you don't know them personally and you talk to them on the internet.

But, why?

I have a hard time choosing salad dressing so this is progress.

With the help of my therapist and a couple good friends who are always willing to supportively nod while I drone on - I've decided to keep temping after this long-term assignment ends at the end of next week.

Now, despite the obvious points such as there's no health insurance in temping, and very little money, and quite literally no job stability, this isn't the poor decision it might look like on paper.

I'm not sure how to explain it as succinctly as I want to, especially for the critics (mom), but the bottom line is this: I'm doing what I love with the ol' sketch and the ol' improv. And there might actually be a time in the not-so-distant future when that becomes more lucrative than it's been. (And by "more lucrative" I mean "at all lucrative.") So if the possibility of getting paid to do what I love is actually on the horizon, who on EARTH am I to not chase after that with a little more pizazz. In this case, pizazz will take the form of nicer head shots, and continuing to temp because of the flexibility/low-commitment-level it provides, and looking to a freelancers' organization for some health insurance. There's more to it all, from a psychological perspective and from a personal-history perspective, but I won't go into that now. Basically, I've been doing this performance stuff just-for-fun for the last two years and maybe now I want to do it just-for-fun-and-cash. I mean, I went to school for it! So, c'mere little degree, let's play make believe.

Whatever. It made sense yesterday over burritos.

It's good news. :)